My wife
The autobot to my decepticon, the ambien/oxycontin to my Heath Ledger.

Every time I make plans, she thwarts them. Wanna go play d&d one day every other week? Foiled.
Can I go to the gym? Can I fuck. Forget world domination, I can't even master domestic domination.
Oooh! I can go back to school! No, she needs money for a boob job (ok, that's better than school any day, I shouldn't complain about that).
Peter Mayhew's at a convention less than 20 minutes away, may I go? May I fuck.
I wanna open our pool up, it's too early I'm told.
Look! Metroplex on ebay for less than 500 dollars, no! We need diapers for the kids. Metroplex is a city for Christ sake! She won't even let me convert to Islam so I can make her shut up.

Some(all) of this may be considered petty.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 17:07, 15 replies)

Some(all) of this
may be the cause of the giant thumb print on your head!
( Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 17:13, closed)

yeah dude
if you give her notice of events your going to and she tells you, no you can't go, there is something wrong with the power ratio. Stand up to her before she gets to used to it. It sounds as though she wants you to spend every free minute with her, not healthy :( She will love you a lot more in the long run *nods*

As for the boob job, my finace used to want one but I kept telling her that I love her little boobies.

1)They won't sag when she is older
2)It saves me money on the repair of the damn things
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 17:21, closed)

So you see
Where I'm being serious. You nailed it. Advance notice does me no good. I need to man up, grow a spine, take my balls back, and quit joking about it. The sad thing is, after I get over being mad about it, I just don't care anymore.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 17:35, closed)

advanced notice
Is in the UN relationship manual 5.0 sub-section 3, entitled, man cannot live with female company alone...Not saying you need to man up because i dnt know you but try playing her at her own game, it might make her realise she is being un-reasonable.
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 17:57, closed)

I saw
a stupendously good DVD by a preacher called Paul Scanlon entitled "Men are wild at heart and dont want women to tame them". The sort of thing that causes a fucking riot in churches but makes so much sense. A compulsory viewing might help?
(gearanach #wankwankwank, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 19:06, closed)

grow a pair or start wearing a dress.
(kenzillion, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 19:12, closed)

But dont do both in case they hang out the bottom
and all the little children in the spermarket point and laugh and call out, "Ladybollocks, ladybollocks, that man's got ladybollocks!"
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 20:03, closed)

...or think you're a Lady Gaga tribute act

( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 29 Apr 2010, 22:40, closed)

She's probably cheating on you, too.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 21:31, closed)

With someone her tells HER how it is

( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 8:44, closed)

So...just do these things anyway?
Except for the Transformer. Don't buy that. Really, that's a terrible investment.
( Digeridude Lord Wellington's Beef Trapeze, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 0:00, closed)

Remember
It is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
(BiggestNizzy your company name here pm for rates., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 9:46, closed)

She must be incredibly hot. Or a bullying whale.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 30 Apr 2010, 11:00, closed)

Man the fuck up
or just go and fuck her sister, your choice.
(Speshal, Sun 2 May 2010, 12:07, closed)

Why do you keep asking permission to do things?
Just do them. It's like you live in an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond or something.
(Vlad the Inhaler forgot his password, Mon 3 May 2010, 9:41, closed)