Grrr
I wasn't going to post this because nobody ever enjoys the serious ones, but what the hell, it's cheaper than therapy.

I *hate* nightclubs. I really fucking hate them. They are where all of my biggest dislikes convene under one sweaty roof. Shit music played at ear-bleeding decibel levels, crowds, meat markets, meat markets full of girls who look like models so guys only try it on with me when I've already seen them try everyone else in the room first (you really know how to make a girl feel special), strange women handing out paper towels in the bathroom (surely the worst job ever) and having to pretend to have a good time while all this is happening. I'm sure it's banned by the Geneva Convention.

I have a friend who likes clubbing. Her brother knows a lot of club owners, so she always gets VIP guest list status somewhere cool for her birthday every year. I go because I'm her friend and I want to help her celebrate her birthday. A couple of years ago I had an absolutely hideous experience at her birthday party, which took place at Punk just off Oxford Street.

So far, the evening had been going swimmingly. I was chatting to people (well, shouting) and dancing a bit and ok, so I wasn't having the best time of my life, but it was fine. I should say at this point that this girl and I actually have no mutual friends, and I am excruciatingly socially awkward at the best of times. So I was doing really, really well.

Virtually the entire birthday group was on the dance floor - me and about 20 girls I'd only just met - when another friend of hers came up to us. A few minutes earlier I'd been a bit chilly due to some overactive air conditioning, so he offered me his jacket, but since I wasn't cold at that moment I politely declined. He then saw fit to launch into the following monologue:

"I swear to God, this is the most miserable girl I've ever seen. She's not cold - she's just making it up so that she can sulk! What a miserable, mardy cow. She never smiles. She never fucking smiles! What the hell is wrong with her? Miserable cow..."

I didn't stick around to hear the rest of it. You know how in any given club there's a girl crying hysterically in the corner? Well, that was me.

I try so hard. Social stuff like this is so draining for me and I try so hard to be friendly and look happy and dance like a lunatic, and then I find out that people still think I'm a miserable cow. And that obviously people are going to side with the big loud popular guy who they know over the quiet, slightly odd girl they've only just met. Suddenly I knew how it felt to be the dim kid at school, to work your arse off to get 30% on a test and find out that everybody else did twice as well as you and they still think you're a waste of space.

I regret crying hysterically in the corner, I really do. At the time, my self esteem wasn't what it is now, and so I thought it was my fault, my problem that he had a problem with me. I wish I could go back and deal with him differently, and this is what I would like to say (of course the music will stop at this point, and all eyes will be on me):

"Actually I was quite happy before you opened your mouth. How dare you be so fucking rude? How dare you talk about me like that in front of a bunch of people I've only just met? Are you trying to humiliate me? You obviously think you're making me look stupid, but you're just making yourself look like the arsehole that you are."

Then, instead of rapturous applause, I would probably get a sea of blank looks and a few giggles, and go and cry hysterically in the corner.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 21:46, 22 replies)

What a gimp
Clearly he felt you not accepting his coat was a slur on his manhood and felt the need to act big.

A true gent would have taken his coat back and then engaged in conversation to help you integrate with the group.

*group hugs*
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 21:57, closed)

Hmm.
Click and such. To be honest clubs realy are not for everyone, certainly not the sorts of clubs you seem to have gone to. I guess if clubbing isn't for you though, it just isn't. The only thing I would say is that there are some decent places out there as opposed to the top venues or whatever, not so much meat market, more music and people.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 21:57, closed)

Hmm
TBH, unless it's somewhere that plays its music at a drastically lower volume than everywhere else, it's never going to be my thing. I have really sensitive hearing, always have done.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 22:08, closed)

Well, fair enough then
Most clubs are loud. I was mostly pointing out that some clubs seem to have less arseholes in them
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 22:28, closed)

Ear
plugs FTW
( chart cat has an itch, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 3:51, closed)

Having no mutual friends in a pub
is great. You get to talk to new people, become a little tipsy, become more tipsy, out and out drunk, a walking embarrassment, a toppling horizontal embarrassment. All that in the space of just one evening in front of people you've never met: fantastic!

But not knowing anyone in a club? That sounds like hell. It's far too loud for easy and flowing conversation. All that on top of the meat market, overpriced drinks, crap music stuff, yeah I can see why that evening sucked.

Plus that guy sounds like a grade A tool.
( djtrialprice, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 22:26, closed)

^ What they all said
Clubs are not good places to meet people. I don't even think they're good places to go to get to know people better. People are rarely at their best when they're wasted and eyeing up the talent (if you can call stillettoed nimbly pimblys "talent").
And as for the coat-proffering twunt, better you figure out his twuntishness straight away than be swayed by his good manners and spend all evening talking to him, only to figure out his crippling personality disorder at the end of the night...
Here, have a click...
(Paolo Nutini's Bikini Better than Frederick Fleet's optometrist, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 2:16, closed)

have a hug
*hugs*

Sounds like a fucking gangrenous bellend. Forget him. I actually struggle a lot with this kind of thing too - but I have seen your posts around and you seem like a lovely lovely person so in my opinion that guy can go take a long walk off a short pier. And then hopefully drown at the end of it all.

*hugs*
Go to the pub next time. Much more relaxed atmosphere :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 2:32, closed)

It's been a while since you last posted
Good to see you submitting again.

*clicks*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:15, closed)

Welcome back, Fluff!
*click*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:22, closed)

Well I've met you
and I thought you were lovely :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:23, closed)

^THIS^
Socially awkward? Pah! You were a HIT at the bash last summer, m'dear.

Unless it was your identical twin who turned up, pretending to be you (the bitch). Though pretending to be you means that you're worth pretending to be... so... er... yeah.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:26, closed)

Hooray!
Thank you! Yes, I have discovered that the secret to going through life as a weirdo is only to hang around with other weirdos.
(grandmasterfluffles Come to my Armageddon party on, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 10:50, closed)

This is true.
The weirdos tend to be more interesting, though. And even those who aren't interesting provide anecdotes.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:08, closed)

Indeed
And you started early!
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:05, closed)

^ this ^

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 20:05, closed)

^ this ^

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 19:58, closed)

If you don't like the meat market atmosphere then go to gay clubs.
Much more fun although the music is still loud.

And yes the guy was a prick and I would have responded exactly the same way you did : (
( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 9:35, closed)

mmm....
Get ear plugs if you go out. £3 from boots and they actually make it easier to hear.
Spend more time meeting people. If you want to overcome your uncomfortable anxiety then this is the only way.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 11:49, closed)

*click*
Have a *click* from me too, if only to stop you bursting in to tears like a big girl when you don't make the Best Of.

(I found that the best way to overcome social awkwardness and shyness was by being a sarcastic git. Which is fine when acidic comments are taken in the joking way they are meant, but horrible when someone takes it badly.

I'll buy you a drink if I ever meet you and show you either really social awkwardness, or a bravado that would win an Oscar! ;) )
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:35, closed)

^ what they all said
I think you're lovely, radiant, vivacious and smashing. That twat needed cunting in the fuck.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 12:37, closed)

^Again, what they all said.
You always struck me as a funny, charming and engaging lady. So there. ;)


NB: This is not pandering. :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 16 Apr 2009, 14:22, closed)