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Cawl wrote two years ago, "People seem to have a knack for walking in at just the wrong time:
"Well, my clothes got wet, so did his... Yes, officer, huddling together to conserve body heat... Yes officer, he's five... No Officer... I'm not his Dad."
What have you done that, in retrospect, you'd really rather nobody had seen, mostly as things just get worse the more you try to explain it?
( , Thu 9 Dec 2010, 21:56)
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is to get a load of alcohol, and a single packet of nappies. At the checkout ask them how much the nappies are. When they tell you the price, decide not to buy them.
( , Fri 10 Dec 2010, 22:26, 9 replies)
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I may try it tomorrow but replace the nappies with a cheap bottle of wine
( , Fri 10 Dec 2010, 22:35, closed)
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So I was in Tesco, and went up to the counter with a Hannah Montana DVD, Vaseline, tissues and cheap jeans.
The woman at the till then gave me a very funny look.
I then got very embarrassed.
That's the last time I buy clothes from Tesco
( , Sat 11 Dec 2010, 0:05, closed)
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You find a female/easily shockable-looking cashier and put these items on the conveyor belt in this order:
Mince
Bolognese sauce
Lasange pasta sheets
Milk
Cheese
Nice bottle of wine
Tissues
Condoms
Several large cumcumbers
Then watch their face change from "Aww" to "Eww".
( , Sat 11 Dec 2010, 3:01, closed)
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There's a very chatty girl in my local Sainsbury's who seeing me buy 2 packets of butter, said "I expect you'll be cooking with the other one?"
What could I reply but: "Both actually, but I've got plenty of olive oil."
Her laugh dislodged several spiders from the ceiling.
And yes, if I were 20 years younger and not married, I absolutely would.
( , Sat 11 Dec 2010, 9:50, closed)
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