I like them long and dirty
fnar
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 13 Dec 2010, 16:20, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Very well.
New in town, Terry is enjoying a quiet pint in his new local when he spots a jar full of £10 notes on the bar.
"Do you really make that much in tips?" He asks the landlord.
"Oh, that's not tips. They're...well, bets, I suppose," the landlord replies.
"Bets on what?"
"You wager a tenner, and you can win the contents of the jar if you can pass three challenges:
1. You must drink a pint of pepper tequila.
2. There's a Rottweiler out the back of the pub with a rotten tooth. Vet won't go near it. You must remove that tooth from the dog.
3. My great aunt's upstairs. She's a very old lady but has never had an orgasm. You must give her one."
Terry is, understandably, appalled by this challenge. And even more appalled by the number of men who have clearly lost £10 trying to rise to such a challenge.

But alcohol removes such inhibitions, and the jar becomes more and more alluring as his glass empties. Draining another pint, he slaps £10 on the table and proffers his pint glass to the landlord.
"Fill 'er up."
The landlord raises an eyebrow, but it's clear from his expression that Terry's not joking. He reaches for the bottle.

Terry drains the pint of pepper tequila, his throat screaming in protest, but his heart set on that huge jar of legal tender. Shuddering as he swallows the last of it, he barks in triumph at the landlord,
"Right! Where's the dog?"
The landlord shows him to the back door of the pub and beckons towards a kennel before shutting the door behind him.

There are shouts. There are screams. There is growling, yapping, frenzied barking, then eventually...silence. Everybody in the pub has fallen deathly quiet, awaiting the outcome of this terrible challenge. After a minute, they hear footsteps. As the steps get closer, they hear the ragged sounds of a man panting and a knock on the door.

The landlord opens the door, and Terry, bloodied and battered but triumphant, staggers back into the bar.
"Right..." he gasps between hoarse breaths, "where's the old woman with the sore tooth?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 13 Dec 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I love this joke

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Dec 2010, 16:36, Reply)