It's got to be Mike Ashley
The man seems absolutely incapable of keeping his hand away from the self-destruct button.

I know I'm going to get anti-football bollockings for this but am hoping Jeff and Bobby will help me ignore them
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:00, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

This^
and I am a Sunderland fan!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:01, Reply)

You've probably got a statue of the fat bastard in the city centre
For services to comedy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:02, Reply)

This may be true
though after 5-1 Newcastle may also have a Bruce statue
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

No-one would ever immortalise Steve Bruce's face

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Mr Potato Head.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 12:42, Reply)

Football. Yawn.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:02, Reply)

emo. yawn.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:03, Reply)

I am not an emo!
I may be many, many horrible things, but emo is not one of them.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

I don't think you can call anyone out of their teens an emo
If you keep being a moany twat without the excuse of teenage angst you're just a goth
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Or a moany twat.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Whichever you think suits you best

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Well I'm clearly not a goth.
I'm not a moany twat either though. I prefer the term 'miserable, hungover cunt'. What do we get to call you?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I'd like to say "Darth Foxtrot" is traditional
but usually it's something much worse
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

We get to call him a massive bender.
Pay attention.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Yeah, but it's boring to call him a massive bender.
Too fucking obvious.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

It's gone through "boring" now and has achieved "running gag" status,
which makes it funny again.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I'm choosing to take this as a good thing

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Good for you.
Optimism is always a good thing.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Talking to you lot does use up most of my reserves
But it also makes the real world seem less harsh by comparison
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I'm glad I'm of use for something.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Don't get a big head love
I meant you plural
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:34, Reply)

Back to the yawn.
I'm not sure why you're so obsessed with being a twat to me, but could you be more inventive? I don't have a real job, I need intellectual stimulation.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:37, Reply)

It's the online equivalent of pulling your hair in the playground
And of the various forms of stimulation I could offer you, intellectual is unlikely to be forthcoming
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I don't blame you
I'm pretty fucking awesome.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:42, Reply)

Prove it
Particularly the "fucking" part
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:45, Reply)

It should be obvious
you bender.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:46, Reply)

How so?
I can't tell how good you are in bed psychically, although I imagine it would save you a lot of time and disappointment if you could
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:48, Reply)

It certainly would.
Although I imagine people guess you're a crap shag when they look at you. You've saved a lot of ladies a lot of disappointment there. Well done.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Thank you
It's good to know that my face serves some public service
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:52, Reply)

Plus it gives us all a laugh

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:55, Reply)

Not everyone
Some are genuinely horrified
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:57, Reply)

You two should just fuck and get it over with.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:58, Reply)

I'm up for it if Bella is

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 12:02, Reply)

What the hell
I could do with a good laugh.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 12:04, Reply)

I'll bring a joke book
I'll need something to keep me awake I reckon
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 12:09, Reply)

It's the ageing that does that.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 12:12, Reply)

Nah
ageing staggeringly unoriginal insults
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 12:15, Reply)

I'm hungover.
I shall be as unoriginal as I like.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Too easy
hungover boring
shall have no choice but to
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 12:21, Reply)

Some people say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.
I, however, think it is strikethroughs.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 12:23, Reply)

clicking this

(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 12:29, Reply)

Unsurprising really

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 12:00, Reply)

Oh, it's you
You would say that, you're from Bradford
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:05, Reply)

I know my local team are shit.
Not giving a fuck about football in the slightest makes it difficult to care.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Australians still seem to care about cricket, somehow
MTFU
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Fine
ZOMGFHGHPS HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY FOOTBALL TEAM?!?!?!?!!!111!!
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

Better
Take 5 Man Points
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

She should give them to AA he needs them

(PsychoChomp, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Oh wow, thanks.
*Puts man points on windowsill in case of emergencies*
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

he is a buffoon of the highest order
Although wtching deluded toon fans weep never fails to amuse.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:03, Reply)

Thank you sir
and points for use of "Buffoon"

How's tricks?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:05, Reply)

good man yeah, still in bed so can't complain
looking forward to strictly?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I wish I could say no
But the standard of dancing this year has been really impressive. Kara Tointon is fucking brilliant
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:14, Reply)

I want her to win, it helps that she is fucking gorgeous.
I'm glad the bloke from Eastenders, who looked like he had lukemia he lost so much weight, got booted
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

If there was a film about the life of Darth and Bob it would be called
'Bum and Bummer'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Can I play myself? I need the money.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

+ with

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:23, Reply)

haha , no charge for that

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

You'll wank for coins. Don't lie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Yeah he started really well
but to be honest I think he was being pushed to excel by his partner, who is absolutely fantastic. Reached his limit and left at the right time. Matt Baker is more naturally gifted but his partner's choreography does him few favours
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I think that it would be impossible for me to give less of a shit about football

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Try

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Boring...
How are other things in your life going?
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Really well thank you honey
Are congratulations in order yet?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Not quite
A few more days to wait.

Do you know when you´re going to be on TV? I´ll have to ask someone to record it for me.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

No, it won't be for a while yet
Not til April or May. I'll be telling EVERYONE when I have a date!

How are the preparations going?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 11:36, Reply)