We have been receiving christmas cards for the former owners of this house for the last three years
If someone hasn't bothered telling you they've moved after 3 years, then you should really realise that they think you're a cunt and just stop.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:28, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Those are GAS BILLS, Al

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:29, Reply)

Why aRE HALF OF THem in capiTALS?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:30, Reply)

It's my new 'death threat' style.
What do you think?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:34, Reply)

It made me slightly tumescent
MONTY I WANT A TAYYABS WHY CANT WE HAVE TAYYABS ALL THE TIME MONTY WHY!?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:35, Reply)

Funny
that's what I was thinking
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:38, Reply)

Have you been to the Tayyabs yet?
If not, when are you back in blightly, and when are you coming down to london to get stuffed with hot meat by me and monty in a small sweaty room?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:42, Reply)

Back in January
and I haven't been yet. Really still want to go. So yeah if you and Monty are up for a bit of 'action' then we should
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 18:33, Reply)

The New Year will bring curried goodness for all.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:45, Reply)

I hope you do this in teh style of santa claus by riding around London on a sleigh
dispensing spicy treats from your massive sack.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:50, Reply)

..stood grunting and red-faced as I empty it
down the chimneys of houses containing excited children.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:54, Reply)

If they gave a return address, send a card back explaining that half the family was wiped out by AIDS.
Bad AIDS
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:33, Reply)

I did check them for return addresses
We know someone who knows them and lives near them, but I've got to the point where I refuse to try and pass post on any more, I just open it and then throw it away.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:35, Reply)

Open it, check for cash from dear old Nana, then throw it away, you mean.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:46, Reply)

I bought this house four years ago
The previous owner died, aged 85. People keep sending her cards and you'd think that they'd add 85 and 4 up to make dead when they don't get a card back.

Maybe not.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:39, Reply)

I got a Christmas card for someone called Rhiannan from her godparents.
Not posted but pushed through the letter box by hand. You'd think someone's godparents would know where the bloody girl lived. I actuall think it's for the girl next door but I can't be arsed to deliver it yet.
( girlinthehole, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 17:54, Reply)

I hope you've written on the envelope
'No one with a god awful chavvy name known at this address'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 16 Dec 2010, 18:00, Reply)