www.dailymail.co.uk
That should be everything you need in one little hate-filled package.

I'm fucked off today, I'm just discovered that Russell Howard is doing some warm-up gigs in Norwich in January and the bastard thing is already sold out. Given that his actual tour goes to the O2 and suchlike, for him to play Norwich is like Chompy telling a joke without showing his working; highly unlikely and a most welcome surprise.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:39, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

What a shame.
I think he's really funny (looking).

Actually I think he's a bonk-eyed Downsy-looking yokel with all the razor-sharp observational wit of a slow-witted Serbian farmer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I wish Russell Howard had been eaten by The Crossbow Cannibal.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Worst. Serial Killer. Ever.
3 prostitutes? That's not serial-killing...that's the boot of my car
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:50, Reply)

He's a real try-hard isn't he?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Not impressed in the slightest
and c'mon...prostitutes? Bin dun and it's like hitting a fat person, nobody cares

2/10
Poor effort
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:59, Reply)

He killed more than Moaty

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Moaty was just a 'confused loner'* not a proper serial killer.
Without 'The Raoul Moat Tapes' and Gazza's intervention he'd be NOTHING.

*not quite a 'Barry Bulsara' but cut from the same low-IQ cloth.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Oh I agree
There's only one Barry Bulsara.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

The 'it's OK, it's only me, Barry' story is one of the best I've ever heard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Have I missed this one?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

He scaled the outside of his friend's house,
got in through an upstairs window and into the man's bedroom, dressed in his commando gear.

Man awakes and justifiably shits himself to find a 'commando' in his bedroom - only to be 'reassured' with 'it's OK, it's only me, Barry!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Poor Barry

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Is this another of your QOTW lies?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Don't set him off

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I found this bit of gold
www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1245758/MELANIE-PHILLIPS-Camerons-right-Broken-Britain-tax-breaks-reverse-descent-savagery.html
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I found this bit of Tayabs related gold
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1340853/Gang-battered-pedestrian-crowbar-brutal-road-rage-attack-jailed-nearly-20-years.html
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

'Terrified, the man ran back to Tayyabs restaurant -
- regarded as one of the best Indian restaurants in London - and ordered some seekh kebabs, dry meat, chicken tikka, massala fish and some baby pumpkin.

He was heard by other diners to be endlessly repeating the phrase 'nommy nom nom'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Grab me a tayaabs and bring it up here for lunch ok?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Sure no problem.
I'll be about two hours.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I'll wait.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

If I open up a resturant, I'll make "seekh kababs", except there won't be any kababs on the plate.... you'll have to ask for them saying "What's happening here? I ordered seekh kababs"
And the waiter will go "I'll go get them.... seekh and you shall find".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I'm meeting up with his missus today. Cannot wait, not seen her since August.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

She sucks Russell Howards cock
and willingly spends time with you?

Is she retarded?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Nominating myself for post of the day right here.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

that's because everyone else thinks you're dull, and shit and in general they all hate you.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

nah she's a doctor, well training to be,
Not a paperclip salesman or anything stellar like that.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)