New thread
because I refuse to talk about how much I'm working over Christmas.

Right this time I'm actually asking for news links, my mate's a teacher and he wants examples of over exageration in the media about "broken Britain" and crime levels and stuff. Link me up bitch.

Also do you want to hear my hilarious offtopic christmas joke?

Q: What did Santa Claus say to LAAK?
A: Ho Ho Ho Ho
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:31, 188 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

it's funny because they're all fucking slags

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Yet you've snogged one, and lust after the other 3
I think this says more about you than them.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:42, Reply)

You fucked that new girl,
I don't think enough people paid attention when I said that yesterday.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:47, Reply)

"I like this"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

To be honest, I think you should be ribbing her for this, not him.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I don't really know what she looks like
she could be a beast.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

*does that shakey-hand-side-to-side motion*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:22, Reply)

alcoholism? or parkinsons?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:34, Reply)

More "meeeeeeeh"
How was your sun-drenched cocktail-laden holiday in the sun?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:39, Reply)

ooooh damned by faint praise!
Still here, just can't sleep this morning so braving the blackberry on here, which i hate.

Jamaica is lovely and the hotel is v v luxurious, i am totally chilled! If a little burnt...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:50, Reply)

He fucked her already?
Damn, that's some smooth operation.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Haha, that's so amazingly insulting, that he pulled one but didn't think she was attractive in any way, but well fancied the others.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:29, Reply)

If you don't take that apostrophe out of 'wants'
then I am going to get Labs to cancerpunch you.
(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:34, Reply)

I'm not scared of labs but I'm going to do it anyway.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:35, Reply)

He's got the red mist, can't see clearly
He's enraged that none of LAAK will sleep with him, therefore they're all "fucking slags".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:35, Reply)

and lesbians.
Actually I'm still drunk my housemates birthday last night, I was over an hour late to work.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Did you get into trouble?
Or did you act all 'Ed Norton in Fight Club'?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:38, Reply)

All 50 layers of managment above me are all off.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:40, Reply)

My boss has been in all week
But is wearing jeans. JEANS! One rule for us, another for 'them'.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:42, Reply)

SO WHAT'S JEAN WEARING, THEN?
It's funny because...er...
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Ssshhh, it's ok now, the nurse will be here any minute with your medication

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:44, Reply)

YESSSS!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:45, Reply)

www.dailymail.co.uk
That should be everything you need in one little hate-filled package.

I'm fucked off today, I'm just discovered that Russell Howard is doing some warm-up gigs in Norwich in January and the bastard thing is already sold out. Given that his actual tour goes to the O2 and suchlike, for him to play Norwich is like Chompy telling a joke without showing his working; highly unlikely and a most welcome surprise.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:39, Reply)

What a shame.
I think he's really funny (looking).

Actually I think he's a bonk-eyed Downsy-looking yokel with all the razor-sharp observational wit of a slow-witted Serbian farmer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I wish Russell Howard had been eaten by The Crossbow Cannibal.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Worst. Serial Killer. Ever.
3 prostitutes? That's not serial-killing...that's the boot of my car
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:50, Reply)

He's a real try-hard isn't he?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Not impressed in the slightest
and c'mon...prostitutes? Bin dun and it's like hitting a fat person, nobody cares

2/10
Poor effort
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:59, Reply)

He killed more than Moaty

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Moaty was just a 'confused loner'* not a proper serial killer.
Without 'The Raoul Moat Tapes' and Gazza's intervention he'd be NOTHING.

*not quite a 'Barry Bulsara' but cut from the same low-IQ cloth.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Oh I agree
There's only one Barry Bulsara.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

The 'it's OK, it's only me, Barry' story is one of the best I've ever heard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Have I missed this one?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

He scaled the outside of his friend's house,
got in through an upstairs window and into the man's bedroom, dressed in his commando gear.

Man awakes and justifiably shits himself to find a 'commando' in his bedroom - only to be 'reassured' with 'it's OK, it's only me, Barry!'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Poor Barry

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Is this another of your QOTW lies?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Don't set him off

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I found this bit of gold
www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-1245758/MELANIE-PHILLIPS-Camerons-right-Broken-Britain-tax-breaks-reverse-descent-savagery.html
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I found this bit of Tayabs related gold
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1340853/Gang-battered-pedestrian-crowbar-brutal-road-rage-attack-jailed-nearly-20-years.html
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

'Terrified, the man ran back to Tayyabs restaurant -
- regarded as one of the best Indian restaurants in London - and ordered some seekh kebabs, dry meat, chicken tikka, massala fish and some baby pumpkin.

He was heard by other diners to be endlessly repeating the phrase 'nommy nom nom'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Grab me a tayaabs and bring it up here for lunch ok?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:15, Reply)

Sure no problem.
I'll be about two hours.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I'll wait.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:17, Reply)

If I open up a resturant, I'll make "seekh kababs", except there won't be any kababs on the plate.... you'll have to ask for them saying "What's happening here? I ordered seekh kababs"
And the waiter will go "I'll go get them.... seekh and you shall find".
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:40, Reply)

I'm meeting up with his missus today. Cannot wait, not seen her since August.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

She sucks Russell Howards cock
and willingly spends time with you?

Is she retarded?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Nominating myself for post of the day right here.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

that's because everyone else thinks you're dull, and shit and in general they all hate you.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

nah she's a doctor, well training to be,
Not a paperclip salesman or anything stellar like that.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I don't get it

( broadsword, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Have you tried dating sites?
There's no stigma these days.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:59, Reply)

that's why i'm here
fancy a date?
( broadsword, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:01, Reply)

I'm fine with these brazil nuts, thank you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

+ ian boy's...

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:24, Reply)

I thought 'who the fuck is Ian Boy?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Myra Hindley's lover?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Neither will Chompy

(Himjim died a little more inside on, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Hmmmm.
I don't get annoyed at the media often, I'm too easy-going and rarely does anything get my wound-up enough to act. I didn't act this time, but I thought about it.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-11994611

The majority of my colleagues come from Luton, mostly Kashmiri and Pakistani muslims of all ages and generations. I read this article through with some of them and some of the "facts" are considerably off the mark.

"In the 1960s, many of the migrants were Kashmiri Muslims fleeing sectarian violence." Nope, most came over because the work prospects were better and this country really, really reminds them of home. They loved the British way of life and how considerate and integrative the majority of us were when they arrived.

Theirs was not a particularly conservative branch of religion; in fact, most preferred, and still prefer, the relaxed nature of religious doctrine in the UK.

"If you talk to these migrants, most are bemused by the radicalism espoused by the younger generation." No, they're bemused by the question, because it simply isn't that clear-cut. As much as many of us dislike the way our country's run, our power's foreign policy and perceived attitude towards the interests of economics and society over those of the individual, so do many muslims feel this way, along with many Christians, Catholics, Bhuddists, non-believers and Jedi.

God, I'm actually getting angry reading the rest of the article. It's just a bit sensational and negative and not what I'd expect from a normally reasonably-balanced BBC.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:04, Reply)

Calm down, you great bender.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:06, Reply)

Says you!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Are you calling Monty a bender?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:08, Reply)

More the failure to calm down thing really.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Are you calling monty great?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:10, Reply)

Are you calling him Monty?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:11, Reply)

Are you calling Monty a calm downs?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Monty has Down's?
That explains a lot.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

'A tranquil mongoloid is a rare and beautiful thing.' (c) Mahatma Gandhi, 1944

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Are you _sure_ that you don't want an "open relationship" ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I might be open to the idea...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:37, Reply)

OH MAN !
Only got a few more 9 more days and I can beat 2009's joint-record (with 2008 and 2007) of '0'.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Screw you, pale suicide-bomber-looking lankmaster.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:12, Reply)

Up yours, you fucking Muslim-lover.

*sets fire to mosque*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:18, Reply)

I declare a jihad on your ass.
Your sweet, sweet ass.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

*radicalises the moderates*

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:19, Reply)

I watched that twice in the past fortnight.
Poppet was all like "What the fuck?" and I was all "Ahahahaaaa oh shit awwww hmmmm oh I see".
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

I watched it again the other night
I loves it!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:22, Reply)

It's proper good brother Omar.
I'm going to buy a copy for a colleague, I want to see what he thinks about it.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:23, Reply)

Do you reckon they'll like it?
So did Poppet just not get it?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:25, Reply)

what is is?
Should i watch it? Would i like it?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

Oh hello Jamaican lady!
Four Lions by Chris Morris. If you like any of his stuff, you'll like this film.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:28, Reply)

thanks both, i will check it out
How is the snow, it seems v odd thinking about it being cold and icy from over here!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Hello there.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:31, Reply)

hello darling
How are you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Hanging on by a thread.
I am going out on an alcoholocaust tonight and I don't think this old body can take much more. I think this Christmas may be my last.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:39, Reply)

You won't be missed

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:41, Reply)

if my boss asks me if I'm hungover tomorrow I shall say no.
I'll be an 'alcoholocaust denier'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:44, Reply)

The Aussie comedian Jim Jeffries
Released a DVD called Alcoholocaust, and got into trouble because some people (probably Jews, they ruin everything) because it apparently makes light of the holocaust.
His reaction was "which one? There've been a fair few, to call one of them THE Holocaust is surely making light of the others?".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:46, Reply)

They're such cunts.
They secretly control the world, apparently.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:55, Reply)

noooo don't say that
Don't make me unleash the exclamation marks (principakky because i can never find them on my blackberry)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Racist.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Racist!
EDIT: MINDPISS!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Pakkypiss!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:47, Reply)

Naseem Hamed?
(brilliant racist joke by me here)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:47, Reply)

POTM

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:14, Reply)

Shocking racism there

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:47, Reply)

It's warming a little here, meaning the snow's slowly melting then freezing overnight
SNOW CHAOS stopped me seeing a mate in a neighbouring town last night though, and for that I shake my fist at the elements.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

i still can't believe we got here without even a one min delay
Manchester seems to be the only airport in the uk that has worked, yay for northern grit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:36, Reply)

They could do with sharing that grit.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:38, Reply)

we try
But southerners can be v racist
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:42, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1017972
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:47, Reply)

this
Totally not worth the effort that it took to make my blackberry open it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:04, Reply)

You got lucky it seems
A few friends of mine are having hellish times getting back to Blighty in time for Christmas. I have no sympathy for one of them though, he's been doing a job in Sao Paulo for two weeks.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:38, Reply)

it's still only 6am here
So it's ok to admit i have no idea where that is.....? Yorkshire?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:41, Reply)

Sao Paulo? Brazil
Apparently Brazilian lawyers are ridiculously hot.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:43, Reply)

It's because they can't afford air con.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Favela fuckers

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:48, Reply)

ah, so you mean almost as hot as london lawyers, right?
I went out with a friend and his brazilian wife once. She was so ridiculously hot we all hated her. At one point she was sitting on a stool at the bar and you could see so much of her perfect arse that every passing guy was falling over his own tongue. Eventually my high maintenance attention seeking mate (not me!), the one who is mad because i facebook deleted her, leaned over and said to her, excuse me... Your jeans?

The brazilian eyed her then said, oh thanks - and hitched them further DOWN. i had to admire that really. Not the ass though, that would have been gay.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Yes, I do mean that
If you won't admire her ass, I will (if you send pics, yeah?).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:50, Reply)

it was about five years ago
She might think it a little odd if i got back in touch now and said some dude off the internet wants a bumoley shot of you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:54, Reply)

Ah well
Internet Porn it is then.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:55, Reply)

ha
Says one of the three b3ta must-shags (allegedly, not confirmed by me)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Woohoo!
Being reminded of this FACT has cheered me up!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:58, Reply)

it's christmas
I spent yesterday climbing up a 600ft waterfall TWICE and am spending tofay on a catamaran. I can afford to spread a little bit of festive goodwill, so!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:03, Reply)

Wish I was there!
The sandwich lady is ill still, meaning I have to brave the cold wastelands to go and drive to Morrisons for lunch.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:06, Reply)

you could all have come
My room is ridiculously massive and the hotel has unlimited all-inclusive five star bars and 24 hours a day food. I reckon i could have stashed my ten favourite b3tans in here and noone would ever have known!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:10, Reply)

That sounds proper luxurious!
*hopes he's in the top ten*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:12, Reply)

weeeeeell it's a v tough list
You're competing with the likes of rakky and amberl and monty...........
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:16, Reply)

I'd have excellent company if I did make the cut then

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:17, Reply)

Fuck that, I'm just hoping for a top 100

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:17, Reply)

there's a lot worse than you

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:19, Reply)

Damn!
we could have pretended to lesbian lovers after all.
(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:13, Reply)

this bed would sleep 5, easily
Although i'm such a restless sleeper it has even defeated my rolling abilities

So we could have kept a comfortable distance. Also there is a triple sofabed thing (currently holding all the presents fron father xmas for the kids that made my luggage so overweight i had to repack on the floor of manchester airport, mortifying)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:25, Reply)

:(
This is pure taunting swipey
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:30, Reply)

Who are the other 2?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:04, Reply)

Noel and Monty I believe
Sorry AA.
(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:12, Reply)

You're not sorry at all
Was your opinion not sought when this list was compiled?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:13, Reply)

It was not
I'd probably have a top 5 rather than a top 3 though. I wouldn't want anyone to feel left out.
(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:19, Reply)

5 would still leave out quite a few!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:22, Reply)

Not of the cute ones, it wouldn't..

(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:23, Reply)

News just in
Berk thinks 5 b3tans are cute! Wikileaks to reveal the identities of these lucky few in just a moment.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:24, Reply)

cute AND single...
What does this narrow it down to, then?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:27, Reply)

Me.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:28, Reply)

Yeah, that narrows it down to 3

(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:29, Reply)

pls to gaz me this info now???????

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:33, Reply)

I'd guess Noel & Barry, but I'm not sure who else

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:35, Reply)

If there's a boat, and I'm in it with someone, please don't let it be Barry.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:39, Reply)

Just keep your wallet covered, you'll be fine.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Because he's a little bit wraaayy a little bit woooaaahhh?
He's a geeza!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:41, Reply)

I have no idea what Barry looks like
and I'm not gossiping about the others, so nyer.
(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Cruelty!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:40, Reply)

You have gossip?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:42, Reply)

I don't know, do I? :P

(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:43, Reply)

I think you do.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:47, Reply)

*grin*

(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:52, Reply)

She means she won't say which other single male b3tan she thinks is cute
After you and I, of course.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:44, Reply)

*blushes*
Maybe you and I should hook up, we'd make beautiful babies.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:44, Reply)

I'm weeping tears of joy now
And feeling the envy of one thousand female b3tans.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:46, Reply)

Oh yeah, sista?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Windowshopping!

(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:39, Reply)

;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:44, Reply)

*sobs*
Although I do agree on the Noel part, he's awesome.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:15, Reply)

It's the second largest city in Brazil.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:43, Reply)

It's a Chris Morris film
called Four Lions that satirises Muslim extremists
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:28, Reply)

She didn't even know what a a courgette was,
I think she's a little slow.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I do think this one guy in particular will get it, he's right on the case.
Poppet enjoyed it I think. At one point she went "Noel, you told me this was funny, and this is all like what the fuck?!"
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:30, Reply)

It is funny, just not wise crack/punch line/knock knock joke funny
I think it's brilliantly written.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

I agree with that
it's more a continuously quietly funny film (though there are some quite quotable lines)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

You really do empathise with Omar though
Despite him being, y'know, a suicide bomber. He has to put up with complete morons!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:34, Reply)

*Sets fire to boots*
'cus they sale condoms, which make us wanna fuck skets and dat.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Bad luck Chompy
I got exempted from LAAK
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:20, Reply)

It's ok, you're not as much as a slag as the rest.
Plus you're my favorite.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Everyone saves their favourites til last

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:27, Reply)

So sayeth Vanessa Williams .

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:30, Reply)

That makes you sound like Bruce Forsythe
and none of us are slags

I take it this bad mood is because you're not off work?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:28, Reply)

A joke doesn't have to be 100% accurate to be amazingly funny
I'm not in a bad mood, I'm just still drunk.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Had a good night then?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:32, Reply)

Yep housemates birthday,
I hate jaegermister.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I love jagermeister
And it loves me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I also hate it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:35, Reply)

It tastes like shit but it's the "in" shot so I was forced to buy a round of fucking jaegerbombs
and I wasn't sober enough to think "this is shit I'd rather have a fucking soft drink than this crap"

I might go get a fry up at lunchtime.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:36, Reply)

I think I also will eat some 'bad food' today.
I have been munching on crackers all morning but I need some kind of blue cheese or pate intervention.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:41, Reply)

There are three kinds of pate in our fridge currently
might get some in a minute, absolutely starving
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I had a cracking chicken liver & Grand Marnier one the other day
I ate the whole pack in one go. I'm gonna turn into Al if I don't learn some moderation.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:49, Reply)

I made a ducks liver, orange and port paté the other day
I had to physically restrain myself from scoffing the lot. It tastes so so much better than shop-bought stuff.
(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:52, Reply)

GIVE! PUT IT IN MY MOUTH NOW PLEASE!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:53, Reply)

*unzips*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:53, Reply)

*gets bitey*

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:56, Reply)

I don't mind bringing cake to a bash
but I think bringing paté would be a bit odd...
(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:55, Reply)

My aim is to get the various amazing cooks from OT
To each bring a course to a bash so I can eat nommylicious foods.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:57, Reply)

i'll just buy a few sharing platters at the pub for everyone if that's ok

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Haha, most of them would probably be up for that
If I make some more I'll save you some, okay?
(berk, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:59, Reply)

Woo thanks!
I'll be nice and let al provide the bread.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:01, Reply)

you so know he'll have fucked the dough first
Or do you just prefer your bread a bit saltier than most?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:07, Reply)

I'd do a game pie

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 12:00, Reply)

This is the best example, I couldn't even come up with such hatred and redicual if I was trying my best to troll.
www.dailymail.co.uk/news/columnist-322/Richard-Littlejohn.html
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:36, Reply)

He's such a twat.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Agreed
A vile, contemptible cunt spouting lies and bile.
"He is an Australian who has been hacking into American government computers from a bunker in Sweden". No, he has not been hacking at all...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:41, Reply)

I doubt he has a bunker either.
YOU COULDNT MAKE IT UP
(PsychoChomp, Thu 23 Dec 2010, 11:48, Reply)