I think he should make a decision
based on her choice of career and how much money she's got, instead. That would be much less shallow.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 10:52, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oh, well played, there.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 10:55, Reply)

to me, the serious answer here
is that jobs ARE important. not because you are dateable or less dateable because you earn £20k or £100k, but because what you do all day, every day forms a large chunk of your conversation and motivation for getting out of bed in the morning. in order to have anything to talk about, you have to have similar outlooks on some things.

also you often end up dating people at work, bad idea though it can be, because you automatically have so much in common. and you understand the stresses of each other's lives. eg i've stopped seeing a couple guys after just a few dates because they got really annoyed that i work such long hours and was never around.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 10:56, Reply)

If work forms a large part of your conversation in any relationship
I'd suggest something is seriously wrong.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 10:57, Reply)

no, i have to disagree here
you are automatically going to say "how was your day" and then listen to the answer. also if you/other half is having problems at work or is going for a promotion or a new job, you're going to talk about them.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 10:59, Reply)

That's generically "work", nothing to do with what you actually do
and a measure of a person's empathy. It's got cock all to do with what they do for a job. To suggest, for instance, that I would need to be a solicitor to "understand" how a solicitors day went or to understand that they might need to work long hours is rubbish, swipe. You stopped seeing those two guys because they were too selfish, not because their jobs prevented them from "understanding"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:26, Reply)

To put it another way
there are probably less than 50 people in this country that would understand a lot of the research I do, or at least be able to have a conversation about it. Do I have to go out with one of them, then? 'cos they're mostly men and despite Monty's fervent wishes, I'm not that mad for the cock.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:28, Reply)

To put it a further different way
constantly banging on about the same old tired stereotypes makes you look like a tit.
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:30, Reply)

are you abusing me or swipe, here?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:32, Reply)

I find this "all men are the same" tripe
really quite offensive.
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Indeed.
It's more that "all men are indeed the same if you constantly insist on chasing after the same men"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:34, Reply)

Those with even half a wit should be able to see this.

( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:40, Reply)

It doesn't even have to be the same men.
I used to have the 'ability' to bring out the same behaviour in men that seemed very different, but it never led me to think they're all the same. I'm sure she's kidding, a bit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:46, Reply)

If I thought she was, I wouldn't have blown up.

( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:53, Reply)

So jaded, so young.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:57, Reply)

The idea that people 'are' their jobs makes me feel sick.
Mainly because my job is shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 10:59, Reply)

I "am" my job
because it's impossible not to be with what I do. I'm heavily defined by it. But I do it because it allows me to do what I like and what I think is interesting, more or less. Which keeps me happy. And I'm always learning stuff I want to learn about.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:37, Reply)

I have to concede
that I employed a chap whose girlfriend (they'd been together since school) had a high-flying city job whereas he did shitty admin for me: they were doomed, despite their obvious love for each other.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 10:58, Reply)

that is sad
but i can see why. it's not about the material stuff, it's just that- i don't really know how to express it, i think you're just different people if you have very different aims and goals in life. this doesn't have to be a problem if you are happy to be/have a stay-at-home partner, but it doesn't appeal to me!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I would love to be a stay-at-home partner.
There is so much knowledge I am desperate to acquire about innumerable arcane subjects, I could fill several lifetimes in fascinated research. That doesn't even touch upon the playing of music in its various forms, or drawing, or writing...

Earning a fucking living is the most intolerable intrusion into my life imaginable. I loathe it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:06, Reply)

gosh you're literally like the polar opposite to me
i'm a total workaholic, i'm a complete control-freak about my files and my job, and i might whinge about the long hours, but actually it satisfies my academic and professional ambitions really well!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:08, Reply)

I have no ambitions, and to some degree resent having to work for a living
That said, I do like that I'm doing some Good in my job.
Still, I'd rather be traveling the world.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:10, Reply)

If someone could bankroll my thirst for learning
I would be the happiest man alive. Work is a tawdry and repulsive irritation to me. It's simply not right for gentleman to have to concern himself with such mundane things as money.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:11, Reply)

I echo this sentiment.
It is the same for a lady. I would do lots of boss things if work didn't take up my time.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:23, Reply)

i love learning too
hence the masters which i am doing alongside my job, although most of the class don't work.... 2 years to do a masters in creative writing, now there's a fast-track to the dole office..... and am wondering what to study next. but i couldn't not work, i wouldn't know what to do with myself. i blame my dad, he made me work for him in the bank from being about 15.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:24, Reply)

Me too, but the fiancé is having none of it.
I'd be a boss kept woman and all.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:12, Reply)

I said a while back that if I won the lottery, I'd still have a part time job (well, at first)
For the simple reason that being out of work is the single most boring thing that has ever happened to me.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Being out of work WITHOUT money is boring

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:15, Reply)

I had cash at the time, but even then, it was depressing.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Of course that's true
but there is no reason at all why people with different aims and goals can't be blissfully happy, as long as they are honest about it. Much worse to be stuck with someone that has the same personality as you. That would be unbearable for any sane human.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:31, Reply)

Because he couldn't buy her expensive enough presents?

( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:05, Reply)

If they wanted a meal out,
if she paid, they went to a top restaurant. If he did they probably went to Best Kebab and Chicken, hallo boss. She was constantly flying to New York - he couldn't afford to go the the old one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:07, Reply)

Men have to trade sex for presents
It's the rules.
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Santa = paedo
But we already knew this.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 11:14, Reply)