Wait til you meet mine.
He's exactly the same as yours, but smaller and less racist.
I've even considered a dry wedding, but then that's not fair on those of us who like a few drinks and DON'T get sent to bed, only to re-emerge three hours later, toplesss, wearing bermuda shorts, and playing a harmonica.

I'm really going off booze and drunk people. I'm losing my temper with them a lot more.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:32, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

*re-thinks wedding outfit*
by contrast, mr b3th can drink the best part of a bottle of single malt, and not appear even the slightest bit tipsy.

I start giggling and falling over after two drinks. I am a really cheap date.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Haha me too.
I get plastered I do. Then either get really loud and dancy, or try to start cooking, which scares the bejesus out of djtp.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Probably just panicked in case you maess up his pristine kitchen.
In other news, I have just sent you a fb gaz. And thrown cold hot chocolate all down my hand and leg.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Oh cheers, I shall check it aaaht later.
Oh yucky cold chocolate.

Your brother is like Adrian Monk sometimes
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:47, Reply)

He will never bring you here
as the shit-heap that is my home brings him out in cold sweats and an itchy rash.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:48, Reply)

He thinks mine has too much 'stuff'.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:50, Reply)

this from a man with FOUR ornaments!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:51, Reply)

he nearly got rid of the Lucy Porter can when he moved!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:52, Reply)

well, she went and got herself knocked up
so he probably doesn't want her anymore. Now, if he had an Alex Jones can....
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:53, Reply)

There were lots of clips of her in a bikini when she was very young
on Almost Famous on BBC3. I recorded it and offered to let him see.
Altruism right here.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Does he still have a thing for the Charlotte Church?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:56, Reply)

He doesn't go on about her so much
But now she's not married to that sad puffin, he might bump her up the list a bit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:58, Reply)

I really don't like drunks eaither.
That's not nesserarly someone who's an alcholic, but someone who's attitude totally changes when they're drunk, eg, they get all soppy or angry or whatever.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:38, Reply)

I have seen drunk me on film, and I think she's a mong.
Friendly enough and not aggressive, but I avoid being like that more than I used to.
I bloody love the taste of wine though.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:42, Reply)

I have known a surprising number of functioning alcoholics
it's ordinary drunk people who annoy the bejesus out of me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:49, Reply)

^ this
I often pretend to go to the toilet and then sneak away from a night out.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Hah
I have become legendary for my ability to disappear from nights out. So much so that on the recent stag do in Riga, I was assigned a minder to stop me from going home.

I don't know if they thought I was going to flag down a passing 727 or what.
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:52, Reply)

My mates are wise to it, but once they're smashed, they're not as vigilant.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:53, Reply)

I just get bored of being drunk, I think.
Bed starts calling.
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:55, Reply)

^This
It's rare that I get proper drunk, I usually just stop drinking alcohol a shade past tipsy. This is also the time I start craving bed.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Food and bed.
Food and bed.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:57, Reply)

I thought you people started fights
when drunk and bored. Simply going home is a much softer, more Southern thing to do.
( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 13:01, Reply)

I do the no-eye-contact thing when it's takeaway time.
I can run fast when I'm in danger
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 13:03, Reply)

I bet you wear a coat in winter, too.

( Kroney, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 13:08, Reply)

one of my friends went on a lad's holiday to the Canaries for 10 days
and came home after 5. He is just as boring as me, which is one of the reasons I love him.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:53, Reply)

I left a two-week family holiday after one week.
Had to pay for a flight home and all that jazz.
A week in Liverpool loafing about was better than their idea of a holiday. I couldn't keep up, and my grandparents are included in this bunch of hedonists!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:57, Reply)

oh, remind me to show a CLASSIC picture
of dj with the parents on holiday somewhere. He was about 14, and looks bored out of his mind, as well as mightily pissed off.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 12:59, Reply)

Hahahah, that was me at 22!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 13:00, Reply)

our parents' idea of holiday photos
is ramrod-straight in front of something to prove you've been there.

The only thing missing is a newspaper to show they were definitely alive on this date...
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Jan 2011, 13:01, Reply)

For my family
It usually involves my mum with a glass of something in her hand looking squiffy. My sis and I compiled an album of such shots for her as a laugh. Thailand, Cambodia, Greece... all with a cocktail or glass of wine in her hand, bless 'er!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 13 Jan 2011, 13:05, Reply)