Here you go:
'Dear helmcheese,

Thanks for proposing a 'date' in about five months' time. Do you really think I'm going to accept this pathetic offer of dinner in HALF A FUCKING YEAR'S TIME? I fully intend to be engaged to a LARPing furry by then, but even if this does not happen, your witless use of 'lol' as a valid expression renders you on equal footing with Ian Brady as 'suitable dating material', not to mention the fact that you are a John Major-scale dullard, and you probably smell slightly of mildew.

Kindly cock off forever. I hope you die, lol.

x'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:04, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

POTD!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:04, Reply)

*copy and pastes*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:06, Reply)

blimey
remind me never to ask YOU out!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:08, Reply)

+ again

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:09, Reply)

humph

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:10, Reply)

+ grind?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Yes?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:12, Reply)

story of my life is that
humph experiments!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Obligatory Humph quote
Today, everything on TV is celebrity-driven, of course. I even notice on my pack of breakfast sausages, there's a picture of Antony Worrall Thompson. Underneath it says "prick with a fork".
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:14, Reply)

I read that and heard Humph's voice.
Splendid.

Cheers Brian.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:17, Reply)