WTF?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-12191423

What miracle would you like to take the credit for?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:38, 174 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

If lab ever gets thin it'll be a miracle
so dibs on that
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:42, Reply)

I've not heard anyone says 'dibs' in years.
Thanks for making me smile.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:44, Reply)

I'm more of a 'bagsy' kind of chap, personally

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Oh Monty.
"Bags I". The shame.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Oh Porkles.
'Jap's I'. The shame.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:48, Reply)

I heard that rumour.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:21, Reply)

Now I have motivation
Dibs on laughing in your fat fucking face when I'm thin!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:49, Reply)

yeah
but if you get thin*, she'll be able to claim the miracle and you'll be obliged to her

*you don't need to lose weight anyway
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Thanks, but I want to lose weight
She'll have a job claiming anything when I'm laughing louder than God into her face.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:57, Reply)

I'll claim you're still a shithead

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Prick

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Chinny McWobble

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:25, Reply)

I think she's offering to be your personal trainer.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:52, Reply)

*big chord*
Shakin' aaalll ooooveeeer....
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Why are real nuns never attractive?

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Too many bad habits

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:55, Reply)

*pfft*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:56, Reply)

*shakes head in despair*

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:57, Reply)

you should say ten hail marys for that

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

10 bloody Marys?
is it vodka'o'clock already?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

no
sadly. nor tonight, i am being good tonight.

tomorrow up in didsbury at 6pm sharp. that is vodka'o'clock.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Thats like ten minutes away from me
East or West?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:25, Reply)

ooh, are you in withy then? i worked in didsbury for years as a student/new grad!
my friend lives just off barlow moor road, at the didsbury end
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:28, Reply)

I am, near the Red Lion
I don't know Barlow Moore Road though
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:32, Reply)

if you go into didsbury town centre, where the 4 way cross road is
with zizzi on the corner, one of those is barlow moor. it runs straight down from didsbury to chorlton. in other words, about 2 mins from central didsbury.

ah, the red lion. spent one too many nights yakking up vodka in there as a student too. is that really nice cafe still in the middle of withy, used to be painted bright orange and its bloody name escapes me.... planet or something?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Oh yeah, I know where zizzi is.
Erm, not planet, no. Do you mean Fuel?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:40, Reply)

fuel, that's it!
my friend used to waitress there. it did awesome veggie lasagne. is it still there/still good?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:45, Reply)

Still there, still awesome
It's my second favourite restaurant in Manchester
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:18, Reply)

Because they're old

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Really? Bert always fancies a Sister.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 14:59, Reply)

BOOM! BOOM!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:05, Reply)

I'm very witty.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:07, Reply)

POTD!
*golf claps*

Well done sir!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:11, Reply)

I think it's quite disgusting, to tell you the truth.
Let's say it did happen, that the pope _did_ cure that nun. Why not cure anyone else? Why just the nun? Is it because she is part of the church? I don't want to believe in a god, or pope, that only cure those who suck up to them... it's like all those MPs employing their family at stupid wages to do sweet fuck all.

And let's say it didn't happen, then they're essenchally telling people that medical intervention is secondry to praying and will lead people to avoid medical advice on account of it being against a belief in god.

Peasent minded backwards curruption. Religion isn't what's wrong with this world, I like religion, it's the people who control it who are one of the biggest evils... and I mean the word evil in the biblical sense. If the bible was true, then Jesus and God would be totally against the pope.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:05, Reply)

I think JP2 is out of mana

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:06, Reply)

"essenchally" *glees*

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Damn it, stop cutesyfying me when I'm being angry !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:29, Reply)

I personally think it's a miracle I am not dead or in prison.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Not really a miracle
More proof that we're in Hell.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

You see I think differently.
I see your existence as proof that we're in Jabba's fucking Palace.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Oh Monty
Busting out the Star Wars references... how low have you sunk?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

In 15 minutes I'm going to start a thread asking
'If you were a zombie, which Terry Pratchett book would you read on your way to go LARPing?

Alt: Red Dwarf - which smegging series is the smegging best? Smeg. I just said smeg. LOL ;o)'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

And then you'll kill yourself
Hopefully.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:20, Reply)

I think you need professional help and fast

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:21, Reply)

This^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Someone who's a bit more religious than I am can probably answer this for me.
So, right, the miracle is being attributed because they prayed to JP2. Doesn't that make them idolaters or heretics or something? I thought you were only supposed to pray to God? It was even one of those commandments.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

That makes them 'Catholics', you buffoon.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:17, Reply)

No you ask Mary/St Christopher/St June/John Paul
to 'ave a word with God for you, it's a bit like asking someone to pass on your C.V. to their boss theologically speaking.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

You pray to a saint
or other religious figure to intercede for you with God.

So it's like asking Mother Teresa to go have a word in God's ear
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

But Mother Theresa's not a Saint yet
She's been beatified (sounds horrific), but not canonised (also sounds painful) yet, if I remember correctly.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:23, Reply)

indeed she isn't
but if you pray enough to her and you get cured, then that's 'proof' that she's got enough pull up in heaven to be be moved along to the next step.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:26, Reply)

So really that nun should have prayed to MT instead
Get her past the home plate before putting another batter in the field.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Maybe she didn't like her
professional jealousy
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:32, Reply)

that at least qualifies her to be god's receptionist.

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:28, Reply)

He is the vicar of Jesus Christ you fucking pagan

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Can someone make it stop raining so I can have a smoke please

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Smoke in the rain,
have some conviction.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:21, Reply)

No. Shan't.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Oh noes it's raining
You'll have to stay in and listen to Green Day.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:22, Reply)

oh man maybe there will be a whole live365 station dedicated to them
that would like totally be one tiny good thing in this cold dark wet world where everyone is so fake and no one understands me
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Don't forget
there's knives in the cupboard. That's one bright sharp thing in the world
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:25, Reply)

At this rate I could go drown myself in a puddle

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:26, Reply)

Prove it

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:28, Reply)

*drowns lab in a puddle*
*gets death certificate*

Considered proven, it is possible that I could drown myself in a puddle. And probably faster too as I don't have so much chin buoyancy
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:31, Reply)

That was good, I'll give you that

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:32, Reply)

There was a suicidal person
on /talk last night.

Also don't drown in a puddle. Run yourself a bath with rose petals that way it'll be all bootiful like something Emilie Autumn would do
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:30, Reply)

Except, y'know, Emilie Autumn's pretty and talented.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Pretty yes
talented, questionable. Dull and samey? Definitely
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:35, Reply)

I don't know her from Adam but she has a bent name.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:37, Reply)

she's 'wacky'
and 'surreal'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:40, Reply)

More talented than TGB
She pales in comparison to someone like Amanda Palmer, but she has one or two songs I like.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:39, Reply)

Or Amanda Holden. She's good.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Thought you'd prefer Amanda Huggenkiss

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:42, Reply)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:45, Reply)

I'm thankful mine aren't that bad

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:46, Reply)

Oh I hate you all too much to give you the satisfaction of not having to put up with me ever again at bashes, or int he car on long journeys, say to morpeth

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:32, Reply)

You should totally write
a blog about your feelings
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:39, Reply)

so a blank webpage then?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:45, Reply)

only because you can't use blood to type :(

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:55, Reply)

Yeah stopped now

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:24, Reply)

THANK GOD I HAVE SOME EXPERT WELLINGTON BOOTS.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:26, Reply)

I am considering
whether to go and hide in the cinema for the day
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:22, Reply)

I'm going to do you cunts a favour.
Why I bother I really do not fucking know, you're a ghastly bunch of plebeians and you all smell of drains, but here you go:

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00xf8k7

If you don't watch this AND ALSO like it, you've got AIDS and are in all probability a Pakistani.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:25, Reply)

That's fucking shit.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:27, Reply)

fuck off, I smell amazing

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:41, Reply)

+ly like drains

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:46, Reply)

6/10

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:48, Reply)

drains my mum
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:52, Reply)

Your mum must smell of drains, then.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:54, Reply)

I smell like YOUR mum

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:57, Reply)

My mum smells of GAY SEX.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:58, Reply)

as do you

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:00, Reply)

fucks sake, I know it's been a long week
but I expect better from the both of you.

Buck your ideas up.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:04, Reply)

the "so do you" actually made me laugh
my standards have slipped.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:45, Reply)

I didn't know that Whoopi Goldberg played the guitar

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:49, Reply)

They do all look alike, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:52, Reply)

I was expecting a rude reply
and I was going to insinuate that Sister Act is your favourite film along with the sequel, Sister Act 2.

Pissed on my bonfire there dintcha.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 15:58, Reply)

One of several rejected first lines for 'Ziggy Stardust'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:00, Reply)

hahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:02, Reply)

She's hardly the "Thin White Duke"
like wot Bowie calls himself (among other things)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:03, Reply)

LADY B3TANS
has anyone smelled the Katie Price spray smelly perfumey stuff?
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Nope
I don't like the smell of scum
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:04, Reply)

*gasp*

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:07, Reply)

Sorry :(
I'm just giving you prior warning as to Katie Price
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:11, Reply)

It probably smells of 'council'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:04, Reply)

Katie Price is an awful excuse for a human being
Please don't encourage her by buying her cheap tat.
( Kroney, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:09, Reply)

but i love her

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:10, Reply)

What?
Whatever for?
( Kroney, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:22, Reply)

theres no point in trying to explain it when you'd tell me that all of those reasons are the reasons you and so many others hate her

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:43, Reply)

Love her or hate her, you cannot deny she is fucking good author. So prolific too.
How does she fit it all in, what with her fat blind spastic son to care for and everything?????
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:24, Reply)

*sings*
She's a Barbie girl,
In a Barbie world.
Tits are plastic,
Son's a spastic...
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:29, Reply)

*applause*

( Kroney, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:31, Reply)

I TOLD YOU SO
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-12195025
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:03, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-12187409
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:22, Reply)

Yes I saw that,
not quite as important as a major pro democratic anti authoritarian revolution in one of the largest Arab States though is it?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:26, Reply)

Oh, those swarthy types are always kicking off.
It won't make the slightest bit of difference to 99% of the world's population, I bet you.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:31, Reply)

That may be true
but these sort of revolutions are slightly infections I wouldn't be suprised if Lybia suddenly either gives consessions to the people or they have a similar protests within 18 months.

Anyway any increase in democratic educated governments no matter how small is a good thing especially in africa.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Well I hope they aren't infectious
SEEING AS 'NICK CLEGG' HAS CLOSED ALL THE HOSPITALS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:58, Reply)

I've been to Tunisia
The presidential palace is right next to the ruins of Carthage and you're not allowed to photograph it (or the Tunisian flag) under pain of death (or imprisonment).

So do you know what I did just to stick one finger up to their rules?

I hastily took a rubbish photograph and shat myself when the soldiers ran over.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:26, Reply)

It's somewhere I want to visit,
maybe next year when it's calmed down a bit.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:28, Reply)

My mother went on her own to Libya a few years ago.
She said it was amazing there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:33, Reply)

my friend annabella said the same thing
she absolutely loved libya. mind you, she spent christmas in israel and she's not jewish, but said that tel aviv and jerusalem are AMAZING.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:38, Reply)

i nearly went there with some girlfriends
but the reports on trip advisor on even the alleged five star hotels put us off altogether. we sacked it off in favour of miami, which absolutely rocked.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:44, Reply)

Worst. Holiday. Ever.

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:47, Reply)

let's not go there on our honeymoon then
i couldn't cope if nobody offered me any camels for you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:48, Reply)

Yeah, lets not go somewhere where they hate women

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:51, Reply)

i think we should go for
a 12 month round the world tour actually. i would like that a LOT.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:02, Reply)

Ok, as long as you don't take your Blackberry
work stays behind
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:06, Reply)

darling, i won't BE working by then
you'll be supporting me and my chanel jeans habit, remember??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:06, Reply)

Oh boy!
*cue Quantum Leap theme tune*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:13, Reply)

i am wondering how i can pass off the waiter's baby as yours
if it comes out slightly darker skinned and all that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:19, Reply)

I'm a simple trusting fool
so just say it was conceived while we were tanned
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:24, Reply)

this really shouldn't make me laugh as much as it has

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:26, Reply)

You don't even smoke!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Bad-um TISH!

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:59, Reply)

bad-un more like

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:01, Reply)

Right I'm off to the cinema again
I've only had a yoghurt today as well so that means I can have some icecream
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:27, Reply)

or fall over from not eating properly

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:59, Reply)

I shall take credit for the miracle of shoehorning the thing I want to talk about into this thread
namely this: Some guy off of a dating site has asked to meet up (admittedly not until May), but I was only really messaging him because it felt rude not to. He writes lol too often and I'm pretty sure we have little in common.

How the hell do I say that without sounding like a bitch?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:58, Reply)

just sound like a bitch!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 16:59, Reply)

"FUCK OFF YOU MENTAL SHITCUNT!"
Will that do?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:00, Reply)

I like the detail in MOnty's
but this could also work. Totally not bitchy
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:08, Reply)

"maybe message me when it's closer to the time you want to meet up, I may have shacked up by then"

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Just keep being yourself.
Between now and May he'll have gone off you.

I'm so sorry, that was horrible of me wasn't it?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:02, Reply)

That's an idea
I've not implied I'm an axe murderer yet. Might not work, though, he's a larper and reenactor
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Here you go:
'Dear helmcheese,

Thanks for proposing a 'date' in about five months' time. Do you really think I'm going to accept this pathetic offer of dinner in HALF A FUCKING YEAR'S TIME? I fully intend to be engaged to a LARPing furry by then, but even if this does not happen, your witless use of 'lol' as a valid expression renders you on equal footing with Ian Brady as 'suitable dating material', not to mention the fact that you are a John Major-scale dullard, and you probably smell slightly of mildew.

Kindly cock off forever. I hope you die, lol.

x'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:04, Reply)

POTD!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:04, Reply)

*copy and pastes*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:06, Reply)

blimey
remind me never to ask YOU out!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:08, Reply)

+ again

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:09, Reply)

humph

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:10, Reply)

+ grind?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Yes?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:12, Reply)

story of my life is that
humph experiments!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Obligatory Humph quote
Today, everything on TV is celebrity-driven, of course. I even notice on my pack of breakfast sausages, there's a picture of Antony Worrall Thompson. Underneath it says "prick with a fork".
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:14, Reply)

I read that and heard Humph's voice.
Splendid.

Cheers Brian.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:17, Reply)

OMG wots rong wiv LOL?
Although I bet he didn't actually 'laugh out loud' every time he used it, which makes him a FILTHY LIAR
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:04, Reply)

maybe he meant "lots of love"
although not enough love for a date in january, clearly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:07, Reply)

Awww, if he meant that he's a big sweetie
and should be sent lots of personal details and bank account info.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:09, Reply)

blimey
you have very low standards about personal data.

LOL.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Awwww
have all my worldly wealth (now imagine pockets turned inside-out and a few moths flying away)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:16, Reply)

christ
it's lucky you've got looks and brains.

even if both are mine.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:23, Reply)

I make up for it with my less tangible qualities
like...um...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:26, Reply)

your chicken?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:35, Reply)

on reflection he says 'may weekend'
his typing and grammar are bad enough that he may have meant 'maybe this weekend'. Hope not
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:10, Reply)

Is he Chinese?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:11, Reply)

Would that make him the wong man for her?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:14, Reply)

Depends if she has already been out with his brother
As two Wongs don't make a (Mr) (W)right.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:16, Reply)

for fucks sake
that was truly truly... something else.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:23, Reply)

something else good?
Or something else bad?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:28, Reply)

I suspect the far distant date is to give him incentive to lose a bit of weight.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:12, Reply)

Yo yo's Jeff. They are so obviously magic I do not believe science can explain such a phenomenon.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:14, Reply)

my friend had a yoyo at the pub quiz on monday.
It had pirates on it making it a.... yoyoho. I'm so very funny
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:17, Reply)

Well I laughed.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 14 Jan 2011, 17:19, Reply)