It's true
I'm a milk racist *ahangs head in shame*
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:32, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Have you tried goats milk?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:34, Reply)

It smells funny
I've tried soy milk - not that I've ever been convinced that you can milk a soy bean - and it's alright once you get used to it. That said, I do't eat breakfast ceral any more so I've no need for milk of any kind in the house.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:36, Reply)

I'm right out of ideas, but Cruncharella has some usefull advice going at the moment.
Ask her.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:40, Reply)

I want cheesecake
like, really want cheesecake. But I have nothing in to even make it, I doubt I've even got the stuff in to lick philadephia out of the tub with a Rich Tea chaser.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:42, Reply)

Get a grip of yourself woman.
To help, I'll just mention that I work near Sara Lee's head office.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:46, Reply)

Cock off
*huffs*
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:49, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:52, Reply)

Hmph
thanks for your support.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:53, Reply)

Don't know about milking soy beans
But my Amazing Fact Of The Aeon is that you can milk a moose
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:46, Reply)

Surely you can milk anything with tits
Or am I missing something?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:48, Reply)

You can indeed
It just amused me to find out that people milk moose.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:49, Reply)

Its horse milk that puts me off.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:51, Reply)

Dog milk
red dwarf lols.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:56, Reply)

Nooooooooo.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:00, Reply)

Tastes exactly the same when it's off
as it does fresh, if I recall.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:01, Reply)

Makes smashing cheesecake though.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:03, Reply)

Hahahaha eww#!

(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:07, Reply)

I think you can milk a dead walrus.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:48, Reply)

It's probably easier than trying to milk a live one....

(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:50, Reply)

I really, really want to go and see the overstuffed walrus at the Horniman (shut up, Crow) Museum.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:53, Reply)

Ok, in principle, fine
but who the fuck has tried, and more importantly, WHY?!
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:50, Reply)

I think there's a truly horrible addendum which is if you come back in an hour you can get twice as much.
FACT COMES FROM THE LIGHT IN CHAINS
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:51, Reply)

As I said to Crow2 above
you'd do well not to make me feel nauseous right about now.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:52, Reply)

Sorry, love.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:53, Reply)

I had my dinner
It was delicious. Added up to about 500 calories though (soup, couple of slices of pepperoni, tray of roast parsnips) so not really the healthy alternative
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:16, Reply)

Parsnips are veg
veg are good for you. Ignore the calories.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:17, Reply)

Not too bad
my dinner was also that much and all it was was about half a tomato in. You win.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:18, Reply)

I didn't have any dinner
and then randomly ended up in an italian restaurant with a free bottle of red. I don;t want to think about how many calories my dinner was given that it was basically pasta with cheese in cheese with sauce. And wine.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:21, Reply)

Don't think about it.
Enjoy the warm glow of being stuffed full.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:25, Reply)

I am not stuffed full
my pudding belly is empty :(
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:27, Reply)

oh dear lord NO
nothing sweet at ALL in the house?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:27, Reply)

Nothing.
nothing at all *weeps*
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:29, Reply)

You poor soul :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:34, Reply)

Sad times, Lampers
SAD TIMES. I will end up eating sugar out of the packet t this rat.e
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:37, Reply)

Sugar sandwiches?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:39, Reply)

No bread :(

(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:40, Reply)

Make caramel?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)

That sounds like an awful lot of jiggery faffery
and I'm in bed and don't want to move *wiggles comforably*
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:42, Reply)

Sugar from the pack it is!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:44, Reply)

Crunchy.

(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:49, Reply)

*bites tongue*

(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:28, Reply)

May I remind you the back of your head is very punchable.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:29, Reply)

I don't need reminding...
*touches tender lumps*
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:34, Reply)

Don't do that in polite company, darling.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)

I'm not...

(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:36, Reply)

We're not exactly polite company, are we?
-sadfaces-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:37, Reply)

And that's why I keep coming back here
_{Where else could I freely fondle my tender lumps?}
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:40, Reply)

Clapham Common.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:40, Reply)

A whole thread without a gayjoke, and two come at once
Like you and your client last night.*

*make that three.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)

There's nowt wrong with that
polite company is usually much morre boroing than the dirty kind.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)

Boroing
Now that's the sort of noise I imagine breasts to make.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:44, Reply)

...your breasts make noise?

(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:48, Reply)

Mine don't
But if they did make noise it'd be something like that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:49, Reply)

Yours maybe
I suspect mine make more of a 'plib' noise.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:48, Reply)

They're getting smaller.
Part sadface, part YES I CAN GET THINGS OVER MY HEAD NOW
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:50, Reply)

Love them whilst you have them
not that I can complain really, since I got measuredk fo a new bra yesterday and was extremely amused/bemuded by the result.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:53, Reply)

I'll love them if they ever get down to 30F again.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:56, Reply)

O_o
curse my blasted ping-pong-balls-in-a-sock!
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:58, Reply)

"O_o" is a little unfair
Sure, they're big, but they don't look lopsided!
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:00, Reply)

You terrible shit!
that's not what I maeant at all...
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:01, Reply)

What was that we were saying about polite company...?

(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:04, Reply)

That you do not fulfil the requirements of it?

(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:07, Reply)

-folds arms over breasts, scowls-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:02, Reply)

Damn the fact I had a great figure at 15 and a boyfriend who had a thing for really, really, skinny girls!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:02, Reply)

Exactly
This, I'm sure, is the only reason my colleagues still invite me to join them for lunch.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:45, Reply)

Shut it you
biting your tongue must make a pleasant change from biting pillows, eh? :P
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:29, Reply)

_{To be honest I'm impressed to have got this far through a conversation on here without reference to my MASSIVE BUMDERISM.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)

Hehehe

(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:38, Reply)

Tasted amazing though
and I've only had 500 calories so far today
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:31, Reply)

is that today starting yesterday
or today starting at midnight?
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:33, Reply)

yesterday
I need more than soup
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:50, Reply)

I maintain that drastic dieting is unnecesary
but you seem to be sticking to it quite well, so good for you :)
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:51, Reply)

thanks
But there has been no change. Also not drastic- it's hardly master-cleanse
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:00, Reply)

:D
www.monkeydyne.com/rmcs/dbcomic.phtml?rowid=3010
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:28, Reply)

Moose ice cream
not even I'm that desperate for dessert.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:51, Reply)

According to Wikipedia, nobody has yet succeeded in creating moose ice cream
But a farm in Sweden apparently makes moose cheese.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:53, Reply)

Again with the evryr kind of wrong in the world
why are you doing this to me?!
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:56, Reply)

Ah, sorry, didn't realise you were finding the moose-milking quite so disturbing
(As you can probably tell, I just find it amusing) I'll stop talking about non-bovine lactation products now.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:58, Reply)

Good
You do that.

You're on here awfully late for you. How;s things?
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:00, Reply)

Yeah, not bad thanks
Been quite a long week-and-a-half, so I'm just taking an evening to unwind with hard liquor and good jazz. At some point I'll probably just fall asleep at the keyboard, but at least I needn't be in a hurry to wake up tomorrow. Or later today, as it is now.

How 'bout you?
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:11, Reply)

Meh alright
likeyv ou say, long week. Don't thin I've finished before 6pm this week and sometimes had to go straight from work to babysitting then back in to work again. I'm glad it's the weekend and paydya.
Hard liquor would be a bad idea right now (esp given sleepiness and ridiculously low tolerance for same) and I;m listening to Elbow &b sigur ros.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:17, Reply)

Ah, well little wonder you're dozing off
(He says, at risk of doing the same)
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:28, Reply)

I think you of all people
should know exactly how easy it is for me to fall asleep when i'v had a drink...
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:31, Reply)

Indeed, I remember it well.
I'm just waiting for it to have the same effect on me. That is to say, you're not alone; I've ended sleepdrinking on one previous occasion.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:33, Reply)

'rememer it well'
ie, significantly better than I do then! Thinkign back on it, I must have been asleep for quite a while. Sorry...
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:36, Reply)

Well, I say "remember it well,"
as the third consecutive day of excessive drinking, I was fairly spaced out. I'm just impressed by what you managed to sleep through, especially after Monty fired up his turntable _{(seriously, how can anyone sleep through a track from The Who: Live at Leeds?)}
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:42, Reply)

I have protested on many occasions
about how boring I really am - I hardly have a chance when my body decides it'd rather sleep than have fun, do I?
I do remember being rather sleepily aghst at how loud what I was sleeping through was though...
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:45, Reply)

It was rather loud
But to be honest I was sleepily aghast at what Monty's neighbours must have been woken up to.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:57, Reply)

I rather got the impression from Monty when we bumped him to him the following day
that they are probably used to it, poor buggers.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:59, Reply)

They certainly seemed to take it better than my weird former neighbour in Wimbledon
(Ok, we were far too loud that one night, but did he realise how much of a fucking racket his sprog kicked up when she decided all was not well with the world at any given hour of the day?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:02, Reply)

Kids innit
parents never realise that sort of thing because it's their beloved crotchfruit doing it.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:04, Reply)

Well, this is true
To be fair to him, I will probably be a peculiar and shifty-looking individual married to a mail-order Asian bride and still living with my mother by the time my hypothetical first child appears on the scene.

In the meantime, I appear to have run out of brandy, which is probably an indication that it's worth retiring to bed...
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:09, Reply)

Pfft
lightweight.

You don't need a mail order bride - just encourage your sister to get sprogged up, children are mcuh more fun when they're someone elses, you can give them noisy toys and then give their parents a cheery wave as you fuck off back to your life of comparitive luxury anf sleep.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:14, Reply)

I'm glad you clarified that point
Halfway through reading that, I thought you were about to suggest I take up Bert's post in his absence...
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:15, Reply)

Haha, no definitely not
especially since of the two of us, I'm the one with a sister who's married to my brother.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:18, Reply)

Yeah, even though I can see how that could work in a perfectly legal and above-board sense, once you take step-siblings into account
It just doesn't seem quite right...
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:29, Reply)

Es[eciallly when you consider
there's only one set of grandparents..
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:33, Reply)

Ah. Well, that downgrades it from
"not quite right" to "frankly worrying."
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:37, Reply)

It all makes perfect sense when it's explained
but I would struggle to summon the energy and concentraion to do so right now.
Besides, I'm from the north. Most things which are mildly untoward can be shrugged off with that excuse.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:39, Reply)

That is a very good point.
And similarly, I haven't the energy nor the concentration to argue otherwise. I think I may have to call it a night. Good night!
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:48, Reply)

N'night!

(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:49, Reply)