Good evening /OT
Have we had a pleasant Saturday? Mrs Cow is out for a hen do and I've been on kid duty all day whilst she has been waxed, haircut, etc... I have however managed to consume 3 steaks today, 1 in a sandwich for lunch and 2 with pepper sauce for tea.

I now have a bottle of good red to polish off. What do you have??

Alt Q:
What was for tea?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 20:48, 357 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well I know I won't have a colon full of meat sitting there and festering.
Veggie sausage bolognaise.
( girlinthehole, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 20:52, Reply)

They were good steaks and going out of date today!
Think of it as recycling or tidying up... not greed at all

Sausage bolognaise sounds good!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 20:53, Reply)

best place for it

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:05, Reply)

*burp*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:13, Reply)

I've not had steak in ages
yum yum

I have fake lemsip
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 20:56, Reply)

A mental one?
You need something nice for a Saturday night - get some cake
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 20:58, Reply)

i had pizza
but now I have guilt
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:01, Reply)

Weekends are guilt free
Did you not get the memo?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:02, Reply)

ok, I will go with this
it was tasty after all so it was good for something.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:04, Reply)

PIzza is fab!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:06, Reply)

such a simple concept
and yet delightful in all it's manifestations
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Indeed
God bless those Italians for a brilliant idea

Dr. Oetker doesnt sound particularly Italian though, dont you think?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:12, Reply)

I don't even really like pizza
and yet some part of me still cries out for it
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:13, Reply)

I am hearing the words
but they make no sense. Don't....like....pizza

Nope, no idea
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:15, Reply)

it's alright
but nothing special. Couldn't eat a whole one
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:20, Reply)

You are eating the wrong pizzas then
Its like saying I dont like sandwiches!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:22, Reply)

GET OUT

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:16, Reply)

*stares at floor*
*asks Jeff for tips on how to gracefully leave the internet*
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Jeff never leaves, though he gets asked to often

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Silly girl!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:18, Reply)

LTIN

( girlinthehole, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:21, Reply)

*orders a Dominos out of spite*
/fat
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:29, Reply)

*steals*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:34, Reply)

That's where you're going wrong
Dominoes isn't pizza, it's shit.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:28, Reply)

I was going to get one of my favorite pizzas from Tesco and saw that it was over 1000 calories.
It was only mozzeralla and tomato.
( girlinthehole, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:03, Reply)

Dont get the pesto one
Its murder
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:03, Reply)

I'm going to start making my own.

( girlinthehole, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:04, Reply)

I make pizzas with my daughter
Its great fun and you can control what you put on it. She loves kneading the dough and making the tomato sauce, etc. She puts on her little chef's outfit - too cute!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:05, Reply)

Awwwwwwww!

( girlinthehole, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:07, Reply)

I know
Sickening, isn't it?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:08, Reply)

I make my own, usually.
They are invariably delicious.

The pittapizzas are a sad replacement, but they're still tasty.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:08, Reply)

I think a homemade pizza
has got to be fairly good for you, especially if you dont put a lump of cheese on top (which I do)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:09, Reply)

I used to use 2 balls of mozz. per pizza
/is fat
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:16, Reply)

You mean
/istasty

The pizza I mean - I cannot comment on the Lampito (though I'm sure you are lovely)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:18, Reply)

Oh, the pizza is excellent.
So much better than shop bought.

I think I'm going to go and make some food.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:21, Reply)

Good plan
I'm too full to eat anything else, but the wine appears to be OK
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:22, Reply)

do it
Jamie oliver's pizza dough recipe is very good.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:13, Reply)

Piece of piss to make
Flour, yeast, touch of sugar, salt and olive oil. Beat the shit out of it for 10 mins and leave for an hour - done
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:14, Reply)

Omg I want a steak
actually I want another Tayyab's. That shit is divine.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 20:59, Reply)

This^
I thought it would be nice but the food was unbelievable!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:00, Reply)

lamb oh my god the lamb THE LAMB
I'm going to drag my friend who lives about 5 mins walk away at some point.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:01, Reply)

I need another excuse to go to London for work!
I took my boss to meet Monty and lusty in Tayyabs, followed by many pints
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:03, Reply)

agreed
I want some now. Right now
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:04, Reply)

STAT!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:06, Reply)

why are all these places in bloody london?
*grump*
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:06, Reply)

Indeed
I dont think they do deliveries to Newcastle *sadfaces*

Actually, this may be for the best as I would order it for EVERY meqal, including breakfast, until I died (in about a week I think)
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:08, Reply)

man. It's harsh but the only time I'm likely be in London
soon is on a college trip and it's a one day thing so I wouldn't have time. So close, yet so far
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:12, Reply)

Ooof
That is harsh. Hope you wont be near Whitechapel to taunt you even further
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:13, Reply)

not decided yet
is that where some art galleries are?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:15, Reply)

No idea
There are some pubs and Indian restaurants that I have visited though
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:17, Reply)

GET OVER HERE NOW
We can go first thing Sunday morning.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:07, Reply)

don't tempt me
or I'll start looking up Oxford Tube times
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:10, Reply)

Its only 3 hours to Kings Cross
*ponders*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:11, Reply)

You should totally come back soon, though.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:15, Reply)

Will try to
maybe in March if you're around :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:19, Reply)

I live here. Of course I'll be around.
We never had our JG-L day! :(
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:20, Reply)

we must remedy that
and soon.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:21, Reply)

A friend is planning a Nicolas Cage extravaganza
and I am so excited I think I might cry.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:23, Reply)

including what films?

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:30, Reply)

I'm not quite sure yet
but I'm going to put in a bid for the Wicker Man


NOOOO NOT THE BEES
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:31, Reply)

I don't like Nicholas Cage
but The Weatherman was pretty good
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:32, Reply)

He's so bad he goes through awesome into terrible back into awesome

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:32, Reply)

some white wine
and a large bag of crisps that I've now put more than arm's reach from me. There's also a half packet of percy pigs somewhere that might need some attention.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:15, Reply)

Oh man
Percy Pigs!! ARGH! I need some Haribo now
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:16, Reply)

Oh man I really fancy some of those Walkers Sensations sweet chilli crisps.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:17, Reply)

Crushed up
they are the most amazing extra topping for a pasta bake when mixed in with grated cheese
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:20, Reply)

Really?!
I hate pasta bake, is all. It's one of the things people expect you as a veggie to like.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:22, Reply)

Honestly
Its amazing!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:23, Reply)

these are salt and vinegar
they're so strong my mouth has gone a bit numb.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:22, Reply)

I don't like vinegar
though I do like Walker's green ones. And oddly enough, even though I don't like onions, I like the blue ones.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:23, Reply)

that is Walker's secret
a sprinkle of crack in every pack.

I polished off a bag of vegetable crisps yesterday, they were very nice and you can kid yourself that it's healthier because they're made of beetroot and parsnip.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:28, Reply)

I'd love to be able to buy roast parsnips

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:29, Reply)

you have no oven in your place?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:33, Reply)

There is an oven
but it's rather too much effort even for delicious parsnip
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:36, Reply)

All you do is leave them in it!!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:36, Reply)

You have to boil and cut them up

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:38, Reply)

don't boil 'em
just coat them in a bit of duck fat and roast the fuckers.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:39, Reply)

this sounds delicious
but kind of defeats the point of a diet
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:42, Reply)

the duck fat isn't essential
it's just that I usually use it on the roast spuds. Just use a wee bit of oil as sportscow says.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:47, Reply)

cheers
I may give this a shot. Although google tells me the average parsnip is 190 calories, and I could probably eat 4 in a sitting
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:49, Reply)

No you dont
Just peel them and shove them in the oven with some oil on
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:40, Reply)

Or get some sweet potato in there too
with a touch of garlic and thyme.

FUCKING NYOM as they say in the business
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:48, Reply)

My mouth is watering
I might take a wander to the shops and see what I can buy
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:48, Reply)

Just get a load of veg,
Chuck some oil and herbs on and leave it for an hour
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:50, Reply)

roast peppers and red onions are nice too

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:53, Reply)

This^
You can also buy some halloumi cheese and chuck this on top for the last 15 mins. Sort of melts but not loads and chars on the edges
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:54, Reply)

Percy pigs?
Hahahaha!
( girlinthehole, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:23, Reply)

They're great
but they contain pork gelatine so you might have an issue there.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:31, Reply)

Mmmmmmm
porcine bone scrapings....
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:33, Reply)

Didn't have tea
Currently have a tasty pint of Aspall's instead, which is making me feel slightly light-headed, and I don't care in the slightest.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:16, Reply)

Yay for no tea and beer!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:21, Reply)

cider no?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:22, Reply)

meh
Generic answer, sorry
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:23, Reply)

Go girl!!!

( girlinthehole, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:22, Reply)

*rocks hard*
Cider is made from apples, right? Therefore it must be good for me...right?
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:30, Reply)

Its practically a health drink
like my wine. Grapes are good?

RESULT!
I've just found a packet of toffee popcorn!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:31, Reply)

Aww jealous man
I could really go for some butterkist right now.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:42, Reply)

this is turning into the best day ever for you, isn't it?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:42, Reply)

It has had its moments!
Sainsburys popcorn FTW!

Also Ronin is on Sky at the moment
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 21:43, Reply)

Coincidentally enough, I have a bottle of a very pleasant Cotes du Rhone to take the edge off a long week
Well, I had a bottle. I now have maybe a glass-and-a-half. My flatmate and his girlfriend are watching shit and predictable romantic "comedy" You, Me and Dupree so I thought I'd do better to head upstairs to the computer and annoy the interweb.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:08, Reply)

good evening
why such a long week?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:11, Reply)

'evening Crunchy
I just seem to have been exceptionally busy - or have at least had a lot of people clamouring for my time. This evening I am looking forward to getting a decent night's sleep for the first time since...erm...actually it's been more than a week.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:14, Reply)

you will sleep well, then
have some hot milk before hand, too
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:02, Reply)

Alright, hideous.
You have made a good choice. I'm just getting annoyed with CSI as they've claimed absinthe is a hallucinogen. FFS.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:17, Reply)

Oh, for crying out loud
The only evidence I've come across that suggests absinthe actually causes hallucinations is second-hand testimony from History of Art students. CSI-grade science strikes again...
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:20, Reply)

Last time I had absinthe I ended up painted blue.
I was in block 2 in halls from about 4am and only got back to block 9 (2 mins away) at about 5pm. Still doesn't beat the butchered Latin (that gave the translation of "my (n) faith (f) master small Greek cloak") PROOF READING GOD DAMN IT

I had to leave the absinthe behind, though. Saddest of sad times. Everlasting gin is still everlasting though!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:23, Reply)

See, all we can really deduce from that is that the Absinthe Segway is noticeably slower than the Beer Scooter
"My faith master small Greek cloak" just sounds like dialogue from Star Wars. Still, the longevity of that gin is really quite impressive. The only thing that I've known to last longer is The Fat Man's tin of corned beef - but then that was never opened.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:26, Reply)

Oh wow, never heard of the beer scooter
Heard of the beer jacket, though. The equivalent for someone like me, a friend decided, was the Gin Barbour. I think the gin is so old it'd be horrible to drink, so I'm keeping it as a keepsake. Now, I've never had corned beef, but it doens't look nice. How long did his tin last for?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:30, Reply)

Gin does not go off unless left under direct sunlight. (At least, I hope this is true...)
The corned beef has lasted for longer than you've been at university. It was purchased by The Fat Man in my undergrad 3rd year, when we shared a grotty roof conversion of a flat near Barons Court. I think he bought it home with some other sundries one evening, and after putting the rest of his shopping away, realised he'd left it on his desk.

A couple of weeks later, he spotted it on the desk and thought, 'Ah, perhaps I'll open that,' for whatever nefarious purpose he intended. On the way to the kitchen, he sat down to watch a bit of telly with us, left the tin on the nearby table and forgot about it.

Weeks later still, he remembered the beef and his now rather aged decision to eat it. This time it got as far as being left on top of the telly.

A couple of days later, we noticed that his tin of corned beef had been on top of the telly for quite a while, at which point he laughed heartily (in that way that only jolly fat men can), and said it must be the slowest-moving corned beef he'd ever encountered. To emphasise this point, he moved it from the top of the telly to the top of the doorframe leading into my room.

So it stayed above my door for several weeks, threatening constantly to fall off and brain me were the building to wobble at an inopportune moment (not unlikely given the state of the place).

The corned beef was never opened. It travelled with him to Putney, then, the year after, it moved back into our midst as we moved back in together at Elephant and Castle. For two more years it languished in his kitchen cupboard, emerging only to sit at the dining table on ceremonious occasions and/or to wind up our vegan housemate. It accompanied us on our journey down to Wimbledon, where it spent a year on the mantelpiece beneath the mirror in the living room.

I went up to Leeds to visit The Fat Man last week. As the Oscillating Gibbon and I were searching through his cupboard for some sort of condiment, I was heartened to see the same tin of corned beef sitting proudly on the shelf.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:40, Reply)

That is fantastic.
I need to find a better bottle for the Everlasting Gin. I wanted to take it to France so it was decanted into a plastic bottle. It's in my room in a cardboard box. I might get something sparkly or something.

You should probably make him eat it at some point.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:44, Reply)

Is it not soaking through the cardboard?
Oh, and the reason he's not eaten it? He lost the little key that you use to open it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:46, Reply)

No, the plastic bottles in the box which is in my room which is in the house which is in SE London which is etc etc
Can't you just use a tin opener? Or a key from ANOTHER tin of corned beef, thus continuing the cycle anew?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:47, Reply)

To be honest, that would be too sensible an end to the saga of a tin of corned beef which has been travelling around with him for nearly four and a half years.
Additional: Red wine and John Coltrane have now run out. How should I remedy this?
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:51, Reply)

Damn me being sensible.
Do you have other alcohol and other music? Make use of them. Either that or have an early night. But that would be sensible, and we've come to the conclusion that sensible is shit.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:53, Reply)

Have managed to dig out more Coltrane.
Also have plenty more alcohol to choose from.
Have plenty more red wine but think drinking two bottles by myself might be a trifle inadvisable.
Have Armagnac if I want to stay on the grape theme.
Have Gin, Vodka, Scotch and Calvados if I want to mix it up a little bit.
Have strange Croatian liquers if I'm feeling particularly adventurous.
Still have half a glass of wine with which to make my mind up.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:59, Reply)

I have Boney M, a cheap menthol in a posh holder and some fruit cider that I won't drink tonight.
Drink gin.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:00, Reply)

Oh, wait, I almost forgot:
I also have Marmite Vodka.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:04, Reply)

You've mentioned this before.
I'm highly intrigued.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:06, Reply)

Intrigued enough that you'd want to try it?

(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:12, Reply)

I can't imagine what mixer you'd use with it.
And I'm a bit funny with drinking straight vodka, but I do love Marmite.

Charms is making bacon bourbon for her brother's birthday present.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:14, Reply)

Haha! Funnily enough I was sent a link to a recipe for bacon vodka
One stage of the manufacture involves a few hours in the freezer to encourage the bacon fat to solidify as a fraction on the top in order that you could remove it. This suggested to me the idea that one could set up a production line of bacon-flavoured vodkas and bacon-scented candles...
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:19, Reply)

Oh dear lord you're unstoppable.
I might make skittle vodka. Or maybe skittle gin. Though it might be a waste of perfectly good Gordon's.

I'd imagine a bacon-fat candle would stink to high heaven.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:21, Reply)

Oddly enough, I did see Skittle Vodka in the same pub where I first discovered the Marmite Stuff
And based on previous experimentation, yes, a candle based on pig fat does have a certain...aroma to it.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:23, Reply)

You're an absolute monster.
Revolution has a wide variety of flavoured vodkas including, if I recall correctly, oatmeal. A business man made a lewd joke about doing me up the arse* and one of his friends felt sorry for me and bought me a peppermint vodka shot. It was quite nice.

*do I LOOK like I take it up the arse?! Come on.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:24, Reply)

What? There was a jar of fat, and I had an idea which I felt the need to test.
As for the businessman, I guess it depends whether he'd seen the badge.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:27, Reply)

WHY THE FUCK DID YOU HAVE A JAR OF FAT YOU DISGUSTING EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING
No, the badge wasn't even a twinkle in Noel's eye at that point. I was with two massive benders though, I was surprised they werne't singled out for accusations of sodomy.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:29, Reply)

BECAUSE MY BONE-IDLE GASTROPOD OF A HOUSEMATE-AT-THE-TIME HAD
ONE OF THOSE FAT-REDUCING GRILLING GEORGE FOREMAN THINGS AND DIDN'T KNOW HOW BEST TO DISPOSE OF THE FAT COLLECTED FROM THE OBSCENE AMOUNTS OF MEAT HE GRILLED IN IT.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:34, Reply)

OK LOVE, THERE'S NO NEED TO SHOUT
Actually, that does pose a problem. Like how we have no idea how to get rid of about 15 litres of rainwater and stewed fagbutts...
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:35, Reply)

See, you can't even make a candle out of that...

(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:37, Reply)

You're welcome to try, it's probably got plenty of tar.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:50, Reply)

you what?

( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:06, Reply)

It's a vodka infusion.
Made with Marmite.

First encountered in the something-Star on a tour of the better pubs of Southampton. Later replicated to be an amusing christmas present by the then-Ms-Crow.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:08, Reply)

i guessed what it was...
i was just taken aback by the thought.
then again, jazz is marmite to some folks.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:10, Reply)

That sounds every kind of wrong that exists in the world.

(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:24, Reply)

Depends how much you like Marmite
And how much you've had to drink before you decide it's worth trying again...
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:30, Reply)

Sober or drunk
I'd still rather lick a tramps arse, frankly.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:32, Reply)

Take it you're not a fan or Marmite, then?

(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:34, Reply)

You could say that, yes.
I was in Selfriedges the other day and they had marmite chocolate. Marmite. Chocolate. *despairs*
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:38, Reply)

Yeah, I've tried that...
I have a friend who's a little obsessed with the stuff - has a little collection featuring all the silly champagne-yeast-marmites, the XO-yeast marmites and all that, and of course the chocolate. Rest assured, it's fairly revolting.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:41, Reply)

I repeat
Every. Kind. Of. Wrong. In. Yhe. World.

You'd do well to not make me feel nauseous right about now.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:44, Reply)

what coltrane you on?
had kirk's wee free kings on earlier.
bliss.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:01, Reply)

Just had Love Supreme on
Now managed to find my copy of Olé Coltrane, which I've always thought was a better album, not least for the bowed bass solos on the title track.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:03, Reply)

2ndmrsblaireau may be heading for a divorce
if she doesn't come round to coltrane.
but she's foreign, so...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:07, Reply)

I've got to admit, I'm no expert
I love Olé and Love Supreme, but some of his stuff does get right up my nose. When he's good, he's excellent, but when he's bad, you want to stick that tenor sax right up his arse (e.g., I still don't like his reading of My Favourite Things. Done much better by Grant Green, if you ask me)
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:11, Reply)

fir doos.
dylan's just the same.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:14, Reply)

Update:
Olé Coltrane and red wine are now well and truly emptied; the time has come for Armagnac and The Oscar Peterson Trio Live at Newport, which is a fucking good combination, I can tell thee.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:48, Reply)

It might have done before the days of industrial distillation, when it was full of unrefined rubbish.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:36, Reply)

or if it were proper absinthe containing thujone from wormwood (artimesia absinthium)
rather than modern euro-absinthe or absinthe-replacement such as pastis which was introduced when proper absinthe was outlawed in france.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:48, Reply)

I'm pretty sure
that even in proper absinthe the wormwood proportion is not high enough that consumed in normal quantities it'll cause hallucinations
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:49, Reply)

And that thujone isn't a hallucinogen

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:50, Reply)

and you know this?
cos i know it is.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:53, Reply)

It's not been scientifically proved.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:54, Reply)

debatable. for years the same was said of fags.
concentrations in most modern absinthe too low to be of any use to man or beast.
non-euro absinthe a different kettle of fish.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:59, Reply)

depends if it's proper proper or not.

( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:52, Reply)

Modern absinthe does not
however absinthe was originally some sort of distillation of wormwood, which can cause hallucinations. You can't buy proper absinthe any more though, because....it causes hallucinations.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:23, Reply)

Chicken pakoras, chicken tikka bhuna and a naan.
Lovely stuff.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:34, Reply)

Just back from Tescos
two trays of roast parsnips- oven ready for £3.00, and a baking tray for £3.71. I plan to have soup and roast parsnips. Maybe I should chuck in a bit of salami as well.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:34, Reply)

I don't like parsnips at all.
Too sweet.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:36, Reply)

I suspect this is why I like them
they're sweets masquerading as vegetables. The only question now is whether I should put some of the parsnips actually into the soup with the salami
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:37, Reply)

What flavour soup is it?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:44, Reply)

I have a choice
between my three usual flavours. Scotch broth, winter vegetable (sadly not very nice) and French Onion
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:47, Reply)

Oooh, erm. I'd go for the scotch broth.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:47, Reply)

My current favourite
good pick. I had to force myself not to buy chicken at Tesco.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:48, Reply)

Chicken's good, though.
(I do love my fauxchicken- ficken?- and am still a little scared of real chicken.)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:50, Reply)

It was bad chicken though
the breaded stuff.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:54, Reply)

Ooh, bad times.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:06, Reply)

You have clearly not tried Gale's Parsnip Wine

(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:46, Reply)

-bokes-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:47, Reply)

To be honest, if you'd seen the now-infamous Chateauneuf du Pond
you'd probably find (professionally-brewed) Parsnip Wine positively not-that-bad by comparison.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:52, Reply)

I don't think I've had a homemade wine that wouldn't be better put to use cleaning windows with..
Apologies for grammar, it is Saturday night. *hic*
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:57, Reply)

If you ever meet Aberracion and her husband
Ask them about their homemade wine. The elderberry and runner bean wine they bought to Blousie's bash last year was absolutely excellent.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:06, Reply)

I respect their iberian abilities.
Just commenting on those I have had, usually made in someone's airing cupboard, probably next to the pants.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:19, Reply)

The fact you described the making of it requiring you and T to frolic looking for elderflowers
meant I wouldn't have been able to look at it without giggling.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 22:58, Reply)

For all the mockery that it has received (and I admit the 2009 batch was ropey)
I would have loved to have some sort of candid camera footage to share with /OT of the last house party to which I took a bottle of the 2010 batch, which not only generated considerable interest amongst the people who saw it and tasted it, and even enabled me to strike up jovial conversation with two REAL WIMMIN. (Though I did have to admit that its manufacture involved an afternoon's frolicking down the Thames towpath)
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:02, Reply)

I'm still really sad I missed an opportunity to gather sloes. Maybe next year.
Or I'll just make damson gin. I have a litre of gin in my wardrobe... I definitely need another gin night where I decide my legs have turned to gin.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:05, Reply)

Some friends who live quite close to me made a rather good batch of sloe gin
Their former Romanian flatmate also left behind a few plastic bottles of peculiar homemade grogs distilled by her uncle. Some of those were quite palatable, others I could see serving as a kind of pleasant-smelling industrial solvent.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:15, Reply)

All your friends' lives seem to revolve around alcohol.
This is probably not a bad thing.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:17, Reply)

Yes, I'm still trying to work out whether they're my friends because of their similar consumption of alcohol
Or whether their consumption of alcohol is due to them being my friends.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:21, Reply)

Being able to handle your booze is definitely a requirement to being your friend
-hangs head in shame-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:22, Reply)

Not so...
_{(Many just find they need a stiff drink to endure me)}
I think it's just the scientists who are all alcohol-dependent through despair. The musicians I hang around with tend to drink a lot less.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:25, Reply)

i thought musicians drank a lot

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:26, Reply)

Not as much as I expected them to
I even know one or two who have given up the stuff.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:28, Reply)

Having attempted drunk piano I can bloody see why.
You would have thought that Classicists would worship at the Altar of Bacchus...actually, for fuck's sake, yes, they really REALLY do.

I just know what happens when I exceed my alcohol limit and almost without exception it's not pretty. Though I really, really want to get drunk now. When I'm not so ill. Though being ill means I won't be able to taste things so I could just drink straight gin... hmm.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:28, Reply)

SDrunj piano is awesome!
you're shit but you really don't care. Which makes a change from being shit and caring which happens sber. In fact... *[ponders*
Nah, I can't be arsed getting out of bed.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:39, Reply)

You are definitely sdrunj.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:47, Reply)

A bit
I am typing with my eyes mostly closed though.

EDIt - if I was really drunk, I'd be asleep - as you now know.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:48, Reply)

Oh dear.
I've decided I'm a bit too sleepy to start on gin and I don't fancy it with flat tap-water vimto.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:49, Reply)

Gin and vimto sounds alright
needs to be cold though. The gin and cherryade Amberl fed me at sonisphere was actually quite good. It worked wwell.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:54, Reply)

Gimto is incredible
With its help I drank about 600ml of gin in a night.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:54, Reply)

I would be willing to try this
despite not really liking gin. I must get round to trying hendirkcs at sme point soon though, it comes in a nice bottle and therefore must be alright.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:57, Reply)

HENDRICKS OH MY GOD
The night I first had hendricks remains one of the loveliest nights I've ever had. It's fucking tasty and also reminds me of good things.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:59, Reply)

It's all infused with stuff
it sounds cool. But it's expensive for a bottle of something I'm not sure if I'll like, adn I can't drink my collecatble minature :(
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:03, Reply)

Sell it on to me.
Either that, or I'll buy a sodding bottle and you can come over and drink some.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:04, Reply)

I'll see what I can lay my hands on
or tempt Amberl to buy some for when we visit.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:07, Reply)

I'm so excited for it.
Though I've not been back since my interview. I may get upset if I get maudlindrunk.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:07, Reply)

You won't get maudlindrunk
You'll be having too much fun. I haven;t been back since my interview either, which I totally faile don my ars.e :P
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:11, Reply)

At least I won't have to worry about bumping into my ex
It'd be much harder in Oxford than it is in London.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:15, Reply)

London is a big place surely?
application of maths and that dictates probability of bumping in to any one given person is quite slim?
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:19, Reply)

I meant the other way round :/
I'm a fucking idiot. Also we're on different sides of the river and compass.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:20, Reply)

Aha I see
well bollocks to him anywya. You'll be with a group of us and basking in the glow of awesome.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:24, Reply)

Yeah we'll be fine
I just want to be really skinny when I next see him so he won't be able to look me up and down and ask "What happened?" next time I see him.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:26, Reply)

Ahhh
yeah, I know exactly where you're coming from with that one.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:28, Reply)

He then followed it up with "You can still be really pretty, even though you're fat"

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:29, Reply)

*winces*
wht a cock. Still though. There ar epositive aspects to what he said, even if he's a knobend.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:32, Reply)

a friend's dad made parsnip wine
the only people who would drink it were 17 year olds who were showing off. Then they were sick in hedges
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:01, Reply)

parsnips are hallucinogenic

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:00, Reply)

Nutmeg is.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:02, Reply)

How much do you need to scoff before the walls start talking to you?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:03, Reply)

eat? ah you're doing it wrong Bartlesey

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:04, Reply)

Well, I'm not sticking one up my bum.
So how do you get the desired effects?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:06, Reply)

it's all about the way you crush it up
and inject it into your eyeballs
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:09, Reply)

Do you mind if I don't.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:10, Reply)

you seemed eager
are you some kind of wuss? all the cool kids are injecting parsnip in their eyes - CHICKEN!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:12, Reply)

I know, I am a complete wuss when it comes to eyeball injections.
*hangs head in shame*
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:15, Reply)

do it do it do it
i totally rule at peer pressure
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:17, Reply)

I seam to have troudle teeing the peybraod now.
Hou ling wall the eflux list!
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:22, Reply)

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
isn't is great! can you see your whole being and feel the texture of concepts yet?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:23, Reply)

Yes, I shall recomend this to Monty.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:27, Reply)

No, injecting chicken is something COMPLETELY different.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:18, Reply)

I am drunk
well, pleasatnyl fuzzy. And possessed of an inability to spell pleasantly, apparently.
ALL of the shops in Moseley are shut. How fucking wrong is that? I need cheesecake and I NEED IT NOW, dammit! I do not have anything remotely resembling pudding in my flat. Not even chocolate. This breaks ALL of the rules. ALL OF THEM.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:21, Reply)

Weetabix and hot milk?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:23, Reply)

BAN THIS SICK FILTH
if you give me milk I'll probably vomit on you.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:27, Reply)

You are not just lactose intolerant
You are just plain intolerant.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:31, Reply)

It's true
I'm a milk racist *ahangs head in shame*
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:32, Reply)

Have you tried goats milk?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:34, Reply)

It smells funny
I've tried soy milk - not that I've ever been convinced that you can milk a soy bean - and it's alright once you get used to it. That said, I do't eat breakfast ceral any more so I've no need for milk of any kind in the house.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:36, Reply)

I'm right out of ideas, but Cruncharella has some usefull advice going at the moment.
Ask her.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:40, Reply)

I want cheesecake
like, really want cheesecake. But I have nothing in to even make it, I doubt I've even got the stuff in to lick philadephia out of the tub with a Rich Tea chaser.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:42, Reply)

Get a grip of yourself woman.
To help, I'll just mention that I work near Sara Lee's head office.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:46, Reply)

Cock off
*huffs*
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:49, Reply)

Hahahaha

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:52, Reply)

Hmph
thanks for your support.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:53, Reply)

Don't know about milking soy beans
But my Amazing Fact Of The Aeon is that you can milk a moose
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:46, Reply)

Surely you can milk anything with tits
Or am I missing something?
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:48, Reply)

You can indeed
It just amused me to find out that people milk moose.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:49, Reply)

Its horse milk that puts me off.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:51, Reply)

Dog milk
red dwarf lols.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:56, Reply)

Nooooooooo.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:00, Reply)

Tastes exactly the same when it's off
as it does fresh, if I recall.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:01, Reply)

Makes smashing cheesecake though.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:03, Reply)

Hahahaha eww#!

(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:07, Reply)

I think you can milk a dead walrus.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:48, Reply)

It's probably easier than trying to milk a live one....

(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:50, Reply)

I really, really want to go and see the overstuffed walrus at the Horniman (shut up, Crow) Museum.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:53, Reply)

Ok, in principle, fine
but who the fuck has tried, and more importantly, WHY?!
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:50, Reply)

I think there's a truly horrible addendum which is if you come back in an hour you can get twice as much.
FACT COMES FROM THE LIGHT IN CHAINS
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:51, Reply)

As I said to Crow2 above
you'd do well not to make me feel nauseous right about now.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:52, Reply)

Sorry, love.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:53, Reply)

I had my dinner
It was delicious. Added up to about 500 calories though (soup, couple of slices of pepperoni, tray of roast parsnips) so not really the healthy alternative
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:16, Reply)

Parsnips are veg
veg are good for you. Ignore the calories.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:17, Reply)

Not too bad
my dinner was also that much and all it was was about half a tomato in. You win.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:18, Reply)

I didn't have any dinner
and then randomly ended up in an italian restaurant with a free bottle of red. I don;t want to think about how many calories my dinner was given that it was basically pasta with cheese in cheese with sauce. And wine.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:21, Reply)

Don't think about it.
Enjoy the warm glow of being stuffed full.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:25, Reply)

I am not stuffed full
my pudding belly is empty :(
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:27, Reply)

oh dear lord NO
nothing sweet at ALL in the house?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:27, Reply)

Nothing.
nothing at all *weeps*
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:29, Reply)

You poor soul :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:34, Reply)

Sad times, Lampers
SAD TIMES. I will end up eating sugar out of the packet t this rat.e
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:37, Reply)

Sugar sandwiches?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:39, Reply)

No bread :(

(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:40, Reply)

Make caramel?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)

That sounds like an awful lot of jiggery faffery
and I'm in bed and don't want to move *wiggles comforably*
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:42, Reply)

Sugar from the pack it is!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:44, Reply)

Crunchy.

(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:49, Reply)

*bites tongue*

(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:28, Reply)

May I remind you the back of your head is very punchable.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:29, Reply)

I don't need reminding...
*touches tender lumps*
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:34, Reply)

Don't do that in polite company, darling.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)

I'm not...

(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:36, Reply)

We're not exactly polite company, are we?
-sadfaces-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:37, Reply)

And that's why I keep coming back here
_{Where else could I freely fondle my tender lumps?}
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:40, Reply)

Clapham Common.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:40, Reply)

A whole thread without a gayjoke, and two come at once
Like you and your client last night.*

*make that three.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)

There's nowt wrong with that
polite company is usually much morre boroing than the dirty kind.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)

Boroing
Now that's the sort of noise I imagine breasts to make.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:44, Reply)

...your breasts make noise?

(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:48, Reply)

Mine don't
But if they did make noise it'd be something like that.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:49, Reply)

Yours maybe
I suspect mine make more of a 'plib' noise.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:48, Reply)

They're getting smaller.
Part sadface, part YES I CAN GET THINGS OVER MY HEAD NOW
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:50, Reply)

Love them whilst you have them
not that I can complain really, since I got measuredk fo a new bra yesterday and was extremely amused/bemuded by the result.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:53, Reply)

I'll love them if they ever get down to 30F again.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:56, Reply)

O_o
curse my blasted ping-pong-balls-in-a-sock!
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:58, Reply)

"O_o" is a little unfair
Sure, they're big, but they don't look lopsided!
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:00, Reply)

You terrible shit!
that's not what I maeant at all...
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:01, Reply)

What was that we were saying about polite company...?

(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:04, Reply)

That you do not fulfil the requirements of it?

(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:07, Reply)

-folds arms over breasts, scowls-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:02, Reply)

Damn the fact I had a great figure at 15 and a boyfriend who had a thing for really, really, skinny girls!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:02, Reply)

Exactly
This, I'm sure, is the only reason my colleagues still invite me to join them for lunch.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:45, Reply)

Shut it you
biting your tongue must make a pleasant change from biting pillows, eh? :P
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:29, Reply)

_{To be honest I'm impressed to have got this far through a conversation on here without reference to my MASSIVE BUMDERISM.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)

Hehehe

(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:38, Reply)

Tasted amazing though
and I've only had 500 calories so far today
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:31, Reply)

is that today starting yesterday
or today starting at midnight?
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:33, Reply)

yesterday
I need more than soup
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:50, Reply)

I maintain that drastic dieting is unnecesary
but you seem to be sticking to it quite well, so good for you :)
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:51, Reply)

thanks
But there has been no change. Also not drastic- it's hardly master-cleanse
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:00, Reply)

:D
www.monkeydyne.com/rmcs/dbcomic.phtml?rowid=3010
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:28, Reply)

Moose ice cream
not even I'm that desperate for dessert.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:51, Reply)

According to Wikipedia, nobody has yet succeeded in creating moose ice cream
But a farm in Sweden apparently makes moose cheese.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:53, Reply)

Again with the evryr kind of wrong in the world
why are you doing this to me?!
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:56, Reply)

Ah, sorry, didn't realise you were finding the moose-milking quite so disturbing
(As you can probably tell, I just find it amusing) I'll stop talking about non-bovine lactation products now.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:58, Reply)

Good
You do that.

You're on here awfully late for you. How;s things?
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:00, Reply)

Yeah, not bad thanks
Been quite a long week-and-a-half, so I'm just taking an evening to unwind with hard liquor and good jazz. At some point I'll probably just fall asleep at the keyboard, but at least I needn't be in a hurry to wake up tomorrow. Or later today, as it is now.

How 'bout you?
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:11, Reply)

Meh alright
likeyv ou say, long week. Don't thin I've finished before 6pm this week and sometimes had to go straight from work to babysitting then back in to work again. I'm glad it's the weekend and paydya.
Hard liquor would be a bad idea right now (esp given sleepiness and ridiculously low tolerance for same) and I;m listening to Elbow &b sigur ros.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:17, Reply)

Ah, well little wonder you're dozing off
(He says, at risk of doing the same)
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:28, Reply)

I think you of all people
should know exactly how easy it is for me to fall asleep when i'v had a drink...
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:31, Reply)

Indeed, I remember it well.
I'm just waiting for it to have the same effect on me. That is to say, you're not alone; I've ended sleepdrinking on one previous occasion.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:33, Reply)

'rememer it well'
ie, significantly better than I do then! Thinkign back on it, I must have been asleep for quite a while. Sorry...
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:36, Reply)

Well, I say "remember it well,"
as the third consecutive day of excessive drinking, I was fairly spaced out. I'm just impressed by what you managed to sleep through, especially after Monty fired up his turntable _{(seriously, how can anyone sleep through a track from The Who: Live at Leeds?)}
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:42, Reply)

I have protested on many occasions
about how boring I really am - I hardly have a chance when my body decides it'd rather sleep than have fun, do I?
I do remember being rather sleepily aghst at how loud what I was sleeping through was though...
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:45, Reply)

It was rather loud
But to be honest I was sleepily aghast at what Monty's neighbours must have been woken up to.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:57, Reply)

I rather got the impression from Monty when we bumped him to him the following day
that they are probably used to it, poor buggers.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:59, Reply)

They certainly seemed to take it better than my weird former neighbour in Wimbledon
(Ok, we were far too loud that one night, but did he realise how much of a fucking racket his sprog kicked up when she decided all was not well with the world at any given hour of the day?)
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:02, Reply)

Kids innit
parents never realise that sort of thing because it's their beloved crotchfruit doing it.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:04, Reply)

Well, this is true
To be fair to him, I will probably be a peculiar and shifty-looking individual married to a mail-order Asian bride and still living with my mother by the time my hypothetical first child appears on the scene.

In the meantime, I appear to have run out of brandy, which is probably an indication that it's worth retiring to bed...
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:09, Reply)

Pfft
lightweight.

You don't need a mail order bride - just encourage your sister to get sprogged up, children are mcuh more fun when they're someone elses, you can give them noisy toys and then give their parents a cheery wave as you fuck off back to your life of comparitive luxury anf sleep.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:14, Reply)

I'm glad you clarified that point
Halfway through reading that, I thought you were about to suggest I take up Bert's post in his absence...
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:15, Reply)

Haha, no definitely not
especially since of the two of us, I'm the one with a sister who's married to my brother.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:18, Reply)

Yeah, even though I can see how that could work in a perfectly legal and above-board sense, once you take step-siblings into account
It just doesn't seem quite right...
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:29, Reply)

Es[eciallly when you consider
there's only one set of grandparents..
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:33, Reply)

Ah. Well, that downgrades it from
"not quite right" to "frankly worrying."
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:37, Reply)

It all makes perfect sense when it's explained
but I would struggle to summon the energy and concentraion to do so right now.
Besides, I'm from the north. Most things which are mildly untoward can be shrugged off with that excuse.
(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:39, Reply)

That is a very good point.
And similarly, I haven't the energy nor the concentration to argue otherwise. I think I may have to call it a night. Good night!
(LongJohnBaldry, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:48, Reply)

N'night!

(berk, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 1:49, Reply)

I remember there was a point last year where I was so hungry for pudding I mixed sugar and raw oats in a bowl and ate them with a spoon
Very, VERY dark days.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:23, Reply)

Not a SPOON?
You deviant...
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:23, Reply)

That room saw many horrific things done in the name of hunger.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:25, Reply)

this doesn't sound like a bad recipe

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:23, Reply)

It was quite dry.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:25, Reply)

add water?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:26, Reply)

I couldn't be arsed to wait for the kettle to boil

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:30, Reply)

now that is desperate

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:31, Reply)

desperate so student
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:32, Reply)

in my first year I had a housemate
who decided that milk cost too much and so put water on his branflakes. This made a brown mush which he flattened and added jam. He also added jam to his rice and soup mix because "it looks so much like rice pudding it seemed right"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:34, Reply)

-bokes, again-

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:36, Reply)

Eurgh!

(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:36, Reply)

I do have oats
and at the ladt count, six types of sugar... *ponders*
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:28, Reply)

Make porrige if you have milk and add fucktons of brown sugar to it.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:28, Reply)

or golden syrup
mmmmmmmmm
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:30, Reply)

oh yessssss

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:30, Reply)

I do not have milk
see above. Bizarrely my aversion to milk does not spread to yoghurt, ice cream, custard or....well, anything eld e containing milk, basically. Just milk. It's nasty stuff.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:31, Reply)

You can make porrige with water, but I prefer it with milk

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:32, Reply)

This is true
I've gotten in to bed now thuogh, and am strangely loath to move...
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:33, Reply)

I hear ya.
Someone has come into my house and I don't know which one it is. Can't be arsed checking tbh
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:34, Reply)

Meh
if it was a burglar they'd have made less noise. If you heard them then it's someone who was meant to be there and it's fine.
(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:37, Reply)

Nah, it was Charms, all is well in the world

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:47, Reply)

*waves*

(berk, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:51, Reply)

she's in her room now. Maybe she'll join us.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:52, Reply)

For tea I had
A chicken breast, scalloped (hit repeatedly until flat) and spread with redcurrant jelly and with a big chunk of gorgonzola and some slices of chorizo on top. Then I rolled it up and wrapped it in pancetta. Then I cooked it in the oven at 200°C for 20 minutes while my cubed turnips and carrots were boiling.

Then I attempted to put the turnip and carrot chunks through my ricer which sort of worked but not as well as just mashing them would have. Lesson learned.

The whole thing tasted fantastic.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:27, Reply)

it'd work better injecteed into your eyeballs

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:30, Reply)

Is that your answer to everything?

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:32, Reply)

it is now

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:33, Reply)

I'll see if I can get you on Question Time.
That's a better policy then anything the government can offer.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:37, Reply)

*threatens to overrule you*

(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 29 Jan 2011, 23:48, Reply)

wooo!
may i be the first to say happy candle day!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:05, Reply)

Of course you may.
Cheers CRI.

And goodnight all.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:08, Reply)

night!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 30 Jan 2011, 0:18, Reply)