Guten tag.
My name is Montgomery Peregrine St John Boyce, I am a minor Baronet from the Scottish Borders.

I have at least one child, I live in a cupboard and have the debt of a medium-sized African country (such as Gabon or Chad). A prodigious onanist, I graduated from the Sorbonne in 1824 after which I became a professional nudist – until the big nudism crash of 1866, when the bottom fell out of the whole industry.

My hobbies are flatulence, insulting behaviour and tobogganing.

Cheers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 12:41, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Oh dear, the bottom fell out?
I feel guilty laughing at that.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 12:43, Reply)

+ and I'm indifferent towards the works of David Bowie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I think the word indifference is a little misleading.
He fucking hates him.
( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 12:46, Reply)

for some reason
I read that as 'a prodigious arsonist'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 9 Feb 2011, 12:47, Reply)

He does like a nice arse.

( girlinthehole, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 12:50, Reply)

a nice one up the
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I didn't know flatulence counted as a hobby.
I shall put it on my CV forthwith!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 12:49, Reply)