i have eaten too much to stand up
my phone is on charge in the kitchen and i can hear it beeping merrily away with texts, but can i be fecked to haul my fat lard over to read them? no...

...... romance in my case, not so much dead, as smothered. with lard.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:20, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

But what if the person texting is a bloke?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:21, Reply)

it's at least 3 people, it's going mad
my friend has been on a date, so one of them will be her. there is no way my fat ass is getting out of this sofa, frankly!

edit - also, that would make zero difference, honestly my friends are just as important to me as any bloke. it's just that none of them are important enough to actually stand up and move.....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:23, Reply)

Do you not have anywhere to plug your phone charger in nearer to where you've plonked yourself down?
It seems strange to think of a phone beeping away and not being remotely interesting in checking it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:25, Reply)

nope
the charger is in the kitchen. bridget jones 2 and b3ta are in the lounge. and i should really be in the bedroom!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:26, Reply)

Your phone is probably alive with people wanting your address so they can send you flowers tomorrow
But you'd rather hang out here.

This makes us all winners.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:29, Reply)

ah jeff
anyone who really wanted to send me flowers would find my work address without texting me for it and ruining the surprise.

so, that'll be zero flowers for me tomorrow then!!!!!!!!!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:32, Reply)

Flowers are fucking bent.
But I'll post you a cheese sandwich if that make you happier? Just gaz me the address because 'Google' is in a different tab and I can't be arsed moving the mouse pointer over to it.

I reckon I've got the measure of her!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:35, Reply)

ah jeff
anyone who really wanted to send me a cheese sandwich would find my address without gazzing me for it and ruining the surprise.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:37, Reply)

But anyone who sent you a cheese sarnie would know that you'd just complaint about them wanting to make you fat.
And having seen your profile pic, you're not.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:44, Reply)

that mirror is SO flattering
it's like something out of a fairground funhouse. everyone who comes over here begs me to let them have it, it knocks stones off you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:46, Reply)

Nonsense, I've had a rummage through the rest of your photos on facebook!

(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:49, Reply)

better than al
and his "you only have your sparkling green eyes to remind you that you used to be young and attractive."

humph. i am so spilling my drink on his crotch at the bash.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:50, Reply)

I'm sure whatever you're drinking, it'll double the value of his strides.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:57, Reply)

If I had both money and your address,
I'd send you a big bunch of flowers.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:37, Reply)

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
how did we only manage to get friendly AFTER you left the uk!?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:38, Reply)

I dunno. Probably Murphy's law.
Don't worry though, I'm aiming to be back around October/November next year. If I can. I already have about 100 quid saved for it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:41, Reply)

hoorah!
come and stay in kensington
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:43, Reply)

ahaha I might visit.
but it's coming over with the intention of finishing my degree.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:52, Reply)

Good use of the word 'quid'
You learnt a lot whilst you were here then!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:43, Reply)

I have to stop myself saying "sweeties" when I mean lollies,
and fags for ciggies, and twat when I mean fuckhead.
Otherwise I get confused looks.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:53, Reply)

You picked up loads when you were here!
Have people said your accent has changed? My sister lived in Aus for 5 years and sounded 'weird' when she came home (granted, this is a lot longer than your UK visit)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:57, Reply)

yeah it's a little clearer, but nothing else has changed.
I think it's cos I had to really make sure I rounded out the words properly so everybody understood me, cos I was constantly going "Wha?" aand they'd be like "Wot?".
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:02, Reply)

Have you made your applications for your final year of study yet?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:04, Reply)

why? It's only first year here in like two weeks.
I was going to organise it through my uni once I get there.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:08, Reply)

True.
But I'd imagine places were popular, and the sooner you make your 'international' intentions known, the easier it'll be to get a place.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:26, Reply)

hence why I was going to get it sorted once I get to Uni. :P
I can't do anything from where I am.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:38, Reply)

Well I wish you well with your efforts.
But seriously, would you want to work for the NHS?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:39, Reply)

Have to work for somebody.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:50, Reply)

True but with less management and more money spent on the front line
Is could be twice the service.

I'm not knocking it (I'm grateful for it), but the French NHS is run on half the budget and is twice as efficient.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:52, Reply)

It must be nice to be one of the popular kids!

(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:27, Reply)

mostly i love it
sometimes i feel like slowing the crazy roundabout down a tiny bit!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:28, Reply)