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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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In case of earliness
Roses are red
Violets are blue
OT is fluffy cloud land
And I LOVE all of you.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:50, 162 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Valentines day is fucking bent.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:51, Reply)
This
but I appreciate the sentiment Porkylips, ta.
(berk, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:54, Reply)
save us all some time, jeff
what don't you consider to be "fucking bent" ?

[i am uber-smug because i've had 2 cards so far! even if i know one of them is the annual joke from my friend emily, it still counts...]
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:55, Reply)
I haven't had any, nor will I receive any
valentines is bent but thats still a bit miserable :(
(berk, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:59, Reply)
single to mingle
nobody wants a card from a loser, that's far far worse than no card at all. i suspect that one of mine is from my ex, who seems desperate to cheat on his new wife. he sure as fuck never sent me one when we were together (apparently we never had a valentines day during our relationship. it lasted FOUR YEARS.)
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:02, Reply)
Did you get together in a leap year?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:03, Reply)
no
it was an evil moon though
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:04, Reply)
But you lasted 4 years
You must have been good together for most of that?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:06, Reply)
not tugging on that thread

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:07, Reply)
Oooh. Have we found your achilles heel?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:09, Reply)
nope
it's just very boring, like everybody's past relationships!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:10, Reply)
Is this the one
of QOTW fame? I'm sure you know which story I mean.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:10, Reply)
well guessed
same guy!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:10, Reply)
My birthday isn't fucking bent.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:02, Reply)
oh yeah
getting another year older, another year towards aching joints and grey hair and all your friends being happily married and popping out sprogs pop pop pop, and seeing your parents getting older and more infirm, and still having no money at the end of every month...

what's not to love about THAT?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:04, Reply)
Oh fuck.
Life is FUCKING BENT.

I might have to borrow a razor from TGB.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:06, Reply)
i've got one you can borrow

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:08, Reply)
Luv u 2 bbz.
HUGZ 4 U LOL
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:09, Reply)
Too right
-equinox fistbumps-
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:07, Reply)
birthdays are great until about your 25th
then you start to really really fucking loathe the repetitive bastard twats that won't stop coming however much you pray.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:08, Reply)
Jeff and I have the same birthday.
My birthday this year is something I hope never to repeat.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:08, Reply)
What happened?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:10, Reply)
Hehehe
she got her booze on.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:13, Reply)
Pretty much what berk said
I spent 4£ on booze and I remember being in the club for precisely half an hour. I think I was in there for about 4.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:14, Reply)
I occasionally got one from my dad, obviously in an attempt to cheer me up.
It's a little creepy in hindsight but it'd always be from "???" and in good humour.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:08, Reply)
my friend's gma used to send her one

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:09, Reply)
I've never received a proper one, or flowers.
I'd like flowers, actually. Or a plant.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:10, Reply)
zomg
getting flowers at work is literally the best thing that can happen to you, it makes my whole day light up.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:11, Reply)
Oh, to be loved!
Or to attract people with money. Either one.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:13, Reply)
i get flowers at work from guys occasionally
it's the closest i ever get to feeling soft and soppy about them. it lasts all day at least.

some friends send flowers for things like my mum's anniversary too, it really makes the day much nicer.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:16, Reply)
Aww.
I always try and remember flowers for my grandma (the live one). She likes them. My dad always sends my mum lovely bunches, but she's started putting ones from the garden in the house and they're always much nicer.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:17, Reply)
i used to send my grandma flowers all the time
after all, what else can you send someone in an old folks' home who really just wanted to get drunk all the time?! i sent clothes from time to time as well, but mostly flowers.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:25, Reply)
Gin. You could have sent her gin.
I have a litre of Hendricks. I am a happy Lampers. The label says "you never forget the first time you have it" and I have to say with absolute authority I never have.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:26, Reply)
And it's not coming to Oxford you say?
sad times. I want to try it but nowhere sells it smaller than a litre and I've never yet been in a pub knowingly that has it!
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:33, Reply)
It's a huge bottle and it's also now my baby.
I might pop back into Vinopolis, tell them I found chocolate gin and see if they do miniatures.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:36, Reply)
BOOM
www.thewhiskyexchange.com/P-5814.aspx
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:39, Reply)
Awesome!
I bet that bottle is well cute.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:41, Reply)
I'm going to keep my large bottle for sure
even the label is beautiful.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:41, Reply)
Heh, this
I've been given flowers by blokes before but never been sent them at work - or at home for that matter.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:19, Reply)
it really does make the day special
you get a call from reception/office services or whatever and you know it's something exciting because they sound all smiley. then you go and see this gorgeous bunch of flowers and there's all the excitement of wondering who they are from... then people coming in all day to ask you and to admire them.... and how beautiful and thoughtful they look.... i love it!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:21, Reply)
Pfft
never gonna happen to me. Does sound nice though.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:24, Reply)
of course it will!!!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:29, Reply)
Really?
I've never been out (or married to) anyone who thinks that, everyone I've spoken to in that capacity would die of embarrassment if they had flowers sent to them in the office.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:14, Reply)
maybe it depends on the office
but i have my own office, so i just get enough attention to make me smug. but it's more the fact that someone cares enough to make my day at work, it makes me melt.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:15, Reply)
I'm surprised at that.
Or do you just like saying to your trainee, 'get me another vase!'
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:16, Reply)
not sure what kind of women you know
but all my friends/colleagues agree with me. and see lampers' comment above. flowers are the nicest thing anyone can do for you. esp from a guy - i think it's because women know that men don't "get" flowers and why we love them so much, which means that you know an even bigger effort has gone into choosing them!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:19, Reply)
As I've mentioned on here before
I get spammed by Interflora and Bunches.co.uk based on my previous custom, I'm not stranger to buying flowers, but I don't consider them a good gift.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:23, Reply)
but jeff, the whole point of gifts is to buy what the recipient considers a good gift
otherwise you'd be buying the next mrs jeff tickets to see bristol fucking bent city, ffs!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:24, Reply)
Take clunge to football?
Fuck off.

That's against the law.

Like I say, I do buy flowers, but I'd rather buy other things.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:26, Reply)
flowers and jewellery
best of all the gifts
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:29, Reply)
The ex wife was given both
Appreciation was minimal. And some of the jewellery wasn't remotely cheap.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:30, Reply)
then she was a very silly girl to let you go
not that it's all about flowers and gifts, but you know what i mean.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:35, Reply)
Actually I don't.
The further downhill the relationship went, the more flamboyant the gifts became.

God only knows what, if she still has it, her engagement ring is now worth.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:39, Reply)
sadly
second hand jewellery is worth fuck all. my dad bought my mum a diamond ring that was a ridiculous amount of money about 4 months before she died.

it's now worth about 6k, which is a fraction of the cost - this being said, she loved it so much for the 4 months she had it and got so much pleasure out of it, my dad would have paid 3 times what he did. but yeah, you get fuck all for it.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:42, Reply)
I don't plan to get married
but I've spotted the engagement ring I'd want. It's about £200. I'm so cheap!
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:45, Reply)
*Makes note*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:49, Reply)
Haha!
I'd send you the link but that'd be weird.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:01, Reply)
Go on.
You might as well.

It is Valentines day (which is still bent by the way), and if Blousie asks, just say it was a suggestion.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:02, Reply)
I had it bookmarked
it says 'product not found'. Pfft. Just as well I was never expecting to be bought it then, really.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:05, Reply)
me too!
it's the £8k princess cut solitaire on a platinum band from tiffs. which might be a bit chavvy these days but you can't tell that is where the ring is from.

OR if i do snare bradley cooper, a £35k emerald cut one from cartier please.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:51, Reply)
To be honest
I'd rather be cooked a nice surprise meal than get flowers. I mean, flowers are nice occasionally, but there are other, better ways to spoil a woman. In my opinion.
They do not involve football.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:26, Reply)
I'd rather have a bottle of Chambord or something like that than an equivalently expensive bunch of flowers
but I would like flowers. At some point.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:27, Reply)
This.
I like to cook, I'd much rather surprise someone with a lovely dinner after a long day than say, 'here are some flowers that are already dead'.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:27, Reply)
Yup
pick them up after work, have a sexy bath, booze, dinner, bed...
ach, I'm making myself miserable.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:31, Reply)
*there there*
Maybe a few flowers as table decoration, but a whole bunch?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:40, Reply)
A single rose is more romantic than 12 of them, say
or perhaps I'm just too much of a skinflint to appreciate the gesture. It's more about the candles, music and booze, I think, for scene-setting for a romantic meal.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:43, Reply)
it's no wonder men get confused
when women have views as far apart as ours! whereas all men would agree that so long as a blowie is on the menu, that's fine.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:45, Reply)
Hahaha
I think the difference is not necessarily our views, but our expectations based on what has gone before. Most of my boyfriends have failed to make any effort at all for most of our relationship, thus I expect very little and am very happy with anything that exceeds that.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:47, Reply)
then you really deserve to be spoiled!
i've had everything from violent alcoholic to spoiling rotten, i can recommend a bunch of flowers over a black eye and a split lip, believe me!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:48, Reply)
I'm quite the romantic.
So I'd schedule the hot towels for after the blowie.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:47, Reply)
you've just cooked at home
and neither sent flowers nor booked a lovely restaurant.

so your chances of getting a blowier are 0/10 anyway.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:49, Reply)
But I got the recipe for the meal
From Chompy.

Blowie 10/10 surely? Evening if you know nothing about it.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:51, Reply)
better ask gonz
he's the chef around here.

you need the girl to be conscious for a blowie, jeff, remember from back when you last had one? in 1992?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:52, Reply)
Oh my bleeding heart.
Bitch. She has the measure of me
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:59, Reply)
In 1992 you were probably not even old enough to consent for god;s sake.

(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:01, Reply)
I was 18
More than old enough.

Thanks for that reminder.

*sad face*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:03, Reply)
Mathsfail
ah well, I maintain that you don't look your age.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:07, Reply)
That's something (I hope)

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:08, Reply)
hmmmmmmm
depends on the guy, how long we've been seeing each other, the occasion etc. but i might think him choosing to cook rather than go out was cheap, under some circs.

well, ok. all circs. i am v spoilt!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:28, Reply)
Yes. Yes you are :P
it takes more effort to plan and prepare a meal than it does to google a couple of restaurant reviews!
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:30, Reply)
Exactly.
Getting the right cut of meat or preparing the right dish, decorating the house with candles and choosing a nice wine are are more difficult than phoning InterFlora and saying, 'Yeah, I'm trying to impress some bird, I wanna spend forty quid on some flowers'.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:33, Reply)
i'm also a bit OCD about food
i mean, what if he tasted it and then put the spoon BACK IN THE SAUCE?

no no no.

also the flowers aren't as simple as they sound. i mean, god help him if he sends reeking nasty lilies, for example.

eating in just wouldn't impress me. it's not different, it's not new, it's not exciting.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:33, Reply)
Swipe.
Question for you.

Are you single at the moment?

If you are, I think I might have an idea as to why.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:34, Reply)
Some men like high maintenance women!

(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:35, Reply)
haha
i'm really v low maintenance actually. ringing interflora is much easier than cooking!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:36, Reply)
For someone who works such long hours
I'm amazed you don't throw more resources at your pile of work. It sounds like your life solution.

Cooking, time, effort and craft.

Flowers, phone call, debit card.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:38, Reply)
it's all personal preference
for me, i'd a million times rather be out than in, which is prob why being cooked for does not appeal!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:41, Reply)
Why go out for burgers when you can have steak at home?
(I'm sure there is a veggie version of that, but I'm not looking for it).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:46, Reply)
because you get bored
of eating the same thing every night.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:47, Reply)
Some men are fucking idiots then.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:36, Reply)
sigh
some all
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:40, Reply)
Women aren't exactly coming out of this with flying colours either.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:41, Reply)
just me
not all women.

i love flowers, i don't like staying in. not that bad, surely.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:44, Reply)
But if you're in with someone you like
Surely that works?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:45, Reply)
no
i get BORED! i hate staying in. it makes me twitchy. it doesn't have to be anywhere exotic, just the nearest pub will do!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:47, Reply)
Pubs are good.
Especially pubs used by the stupid (if they have a quiz machine!).
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:58, Reply)
Wimps. Get versing.
I expect sick, weird and wonderful.
All entries will be marked.
Whichever is highest on the popular page on Tuesday will be mocked.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:04, Reply)
For instance
Coal is black,
Just like your heart
I'm never happier
Than when we're apart.

See, not difficult.

Edit 10\10
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:06, Reply)
Tonic is clear
and Gordon's is green
You be my king,
And I'll be your queen.

(I am aware Gordon's isn't actually green but a gin-based Valentine is HOW I ROLL)
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:10, Reply)
8\10

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:24, Reply)
roses are red
violets are blue
i'm a schizophrenic
and so am i.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:11, Reply)
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Most poems rhyme,
but this one doesn't.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:13, Reply)
2\10

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:25, Reply)
9\10

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:24, Reply)
Stolen from Paloma Faith, but
violets blue,
and roses red
say it isn't true
don't tell me romance is dead

*heaves sigh*
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:14, Reply)
*there there*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:17, Reply)
i have eaten too much to stand up
my phone is on charge in the kitchen and i can hear it beeping merrily away with texts, but can i be fecked to haul my fat lard over to read them? no...

...... romance in my case, not so much dead, as smothered. with lard.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:20, Reply)
But what if the person texting is a bloke?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:21, Reply)
it's at least 3 people, it's going mad
my friend has been on a date, so one of them will be her. there is no way my fat ass is getting out of this sofa, frankly!

edit - also, that would make zero difference, honestly my friends are just as important to me as any bloke. it's just that none of them are important enough to actually stand up and move.....
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:23, Reply)
Do you not have anywhere to plug your phone charger in nearer to where you've plonked yourself down?
It seems strange to think of a phone beeping away and not being remotely interesting in checking it.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:25, Reply)
nope
the charger is in the kitchen. bridget jones 2 and b3ta are in the lounge. and i should really be in the bedroom!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:26, Reply)
Your phone is probably alive with people wanting your address so they can send you flowers tomorrow
But you'd rather hang out here.

This makes us all winners.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:29, Reply)
ah jeff
anyone who really wanted to send me flowers would find my work address without texting me for it and ruining the surprise.

so, that'll be zero flowers for me tomorrow then!!!!!!!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:32, Reply)
Flowers are fucking bent.
But I'll post you a cheese sandwich if that make you happier? Just gaz me the address because 'Google' is in a different tab and I can't be arsed moving the mouse pointer over to it.

I reckon I've got the measure of her!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:35, Reply)
ah jeff
anyone who really wanted to send me a cheese sandwich would find my address without gazzing me for it and ruining the surprise.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:37, Reply)
But anyone who sent you a cheese sarnie would know that you'd just complaint about them wanting to make you fat.
And having seen your profile pic, you're not.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:44, Reply)
that mirror is SO flattering
it's like something out of a fairground funhouse. everyone who comes over here begs me to let them have it, it knocks stones off you.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:46, Reply)
Nonsense, I've had a rummage through the rest of your photos on facebook!

(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:49, Reply)
better than al
and his "you only have your sparkling green eyes to remind you that you used to be young and attractive."

humph. i am so spilling my drink on his crotch at the bash.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:50, Reply)
I'm sure whatever you're drinking, it'll double the value of his strides.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:57, Reply)
If I had both money and your address,
I'd send you a big bunch of flowers.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:37, Reply)
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
how did we only manage to get friendly AFTER you left the uk!?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:38, Reply)
I dunno. Probably Murphy's law.
Don't worry though, I'm aiming to be back around October/November next year. If I can. I already have about 100 quid saved for it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:41, Reply)
hoorah!
come and stay in kensington
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:43, Reply)
ahaha I might visit.
but it's coming over with the intention of finishing my degree.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:52, Reply)
Good use of the word 'quid'
You learnt a lot whilst you were here then!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:43, Reply)
I have to stop myself saying "sweeties" when I mean lollies,
and fags for ciggies, and twat when I mean fuckhead.
Otherwise I get confused looks.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:53, Reply)
You picked up loads when you were here!
Have people said your accent has changed? My sister lived in Aus for 5 years and sounded 'weird' when she came home (granted, this is a lot longer than your UK visit)
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:57, Reply)
yeah it's a little clearer, but nothing else has changed.
I think it's cos I had to really make sure I rounded out the words properly so everybody understood me, cos I was constantly going "Wha?" aand they'd be like "Wot?".
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:02, Reply)
Have you made your applications for your final year of study yet?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:04, Reply)
why? It's only first year here in like two weeks.
I was going to organise it through my uni once I get there.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:08, Reply)
True.
But I'd imagine places were popular, and the sooner you make your 'international' intentions known, the easier it'll be to get a place.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:26, Reply)
hence why I was going to get it sorted once I get to Uni. :P
I can't do anything from where I am.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:38, Reply)
Well I wish you well with your efforts.
But seriously, would you want to work for the NHS?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:39, Reply)
Have to work for somebody.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:50, Reply)
True but with less management and more money spent on the front line
Is could be twice the service.

I'm not knocking it (I'm grateful for it), but the French NHS is run on half the budget and is twice as efficient.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:52, Reply)
It must be nice to be one of the popular kids!

(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:27, Reply)
mostly i love it
sometimes i feel like slowing the crazy roundabout down a tiny bit!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:28, Reply)
1\10

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:25, Reply)
Romantic song link:
www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DABLP9nXlDvA&h=90570

not really but it is called Valentine
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:17, Reply)
Oops, I thought I was logged in...
/DG
(I helped save b3ta! Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:21, Reply)
Well you've gone blonde now, so that'll happen won't it?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:24, Reply)
My Favourite Valentine's Day Song
www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuFHsIBMcsg
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:31, Reply)

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I fucked your mother,
and now I'll fuck you.

Love,
Josef/Daddy
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 0:57, Reply)
10\10

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 8:36, Reply)
.........
I think about you hourly
I wish I could ask you for a kiss
Sadly, I'm too cowardly
So I'm off down the pub to get pissed.

/most valentine's day for most people.

Edit: Including me, though I have a valentine's surprise lined up for someone tomorrow. Sadly it's an email as I have no idea of her address.
(I helped save b3ta! Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:03, Reply)
*snort*
good effort, 8/10.
(berk, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:09, Reply)
Agreed

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 8:36, Reply)
Here's one, stolen from an old QOTW
My love
I give you a cucumber
You'll need it
Because you're dumped
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:14, Reply)
10\10
New to me.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 8:36, Reply)

Roses are red,
But I like carnations,
You're so shit in the sack,
That I fucked your alsations.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:16, Reply)
pfffft.
that's hilarious.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:18, Reply)
10\10

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 8:37, Reply)
Chompy's Attempt
Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I'll cut out your throat,
And then fuck that too.

Wow, it seems I'm aggressive this year
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:22, Reply)
Chompy's victim's attempt
I love seeing your teeth when you smile
I love the taste of this meal you've cooked
I think I'll be staying here for quite a while
Hold on, I feel a bitsdsdfvcvssvddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
(I helped save b3ta! Hdjejjwsjdjjf LOOK, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 1:28, Reply)
9.75\10

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 8:40, Reply)
9.5\10

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 8:40, Reply)

Roses are red,
Voilets are blue,
Hahahahaha, GUTTED.
Nobody loves you.
(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 8:18, Reply)
9.9\10
Cos I can't give 10\10 anymore. Stupid validation.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 8:42, Reply)
Oh dear :(
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm all alone
and soon you'll be too
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 14 Feb 2011, 8:43, Reply)
9.99\10

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 14 Feb 2011, 9:02, Reply)
fuck off and die.

(Mortal Wombat - he's just an excitable boy, Tue 15 Feb 2011, 2:39, Reply)

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