ahhhhhh no, the mistake you're making here
is the famous one of believing everything you read on the internet. put your tongue in your cheek and read through that list again.

(unless of course your face is too melted out of shape for it to fit because of the blistering white hot heat of that last guitar solo?!)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:28, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

thing is
you say that it was tongue in cheek but I don't think anyone believes you.

Smug I may be (but I prefer to think of it more as being happy and having some pride) but I'm not arrogant
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

one man's smugness IS another man's arrogance though
and one man's standoffish-ness is another man's crippling shyness. you can prefer to think of it how you want, you can't control what other people will think of you as a consequence. your comment to me is proof of that - if you knew me in real life, you'd know that i am being flippant most of the time and that much of what gets posted on here is exaggerated for hyperbole or to disguise real facts. but as you don't, you choose to take me literally and think i am spoiled and arrogant. surprise surprise, this is exactly how some of your stuff comes across too! it's just supposed to be funny or entertaining, which is how i always take it.

now shut up and tell me what kind of pants you are wearing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

got to have a bit of a dig sometimes though ;-)
I'm aware that I may come across as arrogant, but like you I'm rarely serious, particularly on here!

two-tone blue CK trunks. You?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

the actual non-flippant truth is
that i think you're lovely, so there. deal with that!!!

erm... red lace. but not real lace. marks and spencers lace, and guess what, they were 2 for £10. but don't tell anyone.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I don't know how it happens
I'm fairly consistently horrible to everyone and yet they still insist on finding me likeable. It's like a curse or something.

It's ok, I didn't pay anywhere near full price for all my designer pants.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

maybe it's because it's all relative
the comparison with everyone else makes you look shinier than you are?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

on here perhaps
because it's populated almost exclusively by cunts, but that doesn't apply so much to my real life social circles.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

2 for a Tenner?
Will you wear them for a fortnight without changing them, before throwing them in a bin?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

no
i'm not the one from bristol, remember?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Well that was cutting.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Tesco didn't have jalapenos
I had to make myself chilli and lemongrass risotto

It was fucking lovely
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

that does sound lush
tesco piss me off with their jalapenos. i like the red ones better, but does the little one near me sell them? no, just the pikey-ass green ones. which are ok, but they are not the red ones...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Why bother with jalapenos
When you can buy birds eye chillies in Tesco?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

jalapenos are tastier

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

on their own, maybe
But for cooking a stir fry (for example) I find one birds eye chilli more spicy and a better taste.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)

dominos used to do a pizza with birds eye chillis on
i like my food spicy, but those evil buggers nearly killed me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I had two of those (on seperate occasions)
The first was lovely, the second was painful.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)