Tell me something about what you do in your jobs that makes you think "FUCK YEAH, I'M AWESOME".
It doesn't matter if I, or most people, would understand what it is that makes you think it's awesome, but as long as you think it's awesome, then that is what counts. If there is nothing job related, then hobby or life related or something like that.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:29, 112 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Sad to tell,
I never think "FUCK YEAH, I'M AWESOME", ever.

The closest to that I get is 'fuck yeah, I appear to be getting away with this'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:40, Reply)

I think most people would have this feeling

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:54, Reply)

^this
I'm crap at accounts and anything business related. Sometimes I think my step-dad should employ someone who actually knows what they're doing. But because I'm family he knows that whatever goes on here, I can be trusted, and I do his personal banking etc.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Speaking of which........I think I've forgotton to pay the VAT bill : /

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Not good.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)

They don't send out those reminders anymore.
The bastards.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Dey do dat on porpoise

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

I no rite.

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:18, Reply)

My job is shit
but my hobby is very fulfilling. Listening to people is awesome.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:41, Reply)

Wanking in the bogs.

(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:45, Reply)

I've been singing that...
...to the tune of Billy Idol's "Dancing with myself".
Many thanks.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

I signed off a deal worth 400k last week, booya!
*rings bell and dons red blazer*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:49, Reply)

Apart from helping to put paedos and other crims behind bars
It'd probably be pulling all the data for a case together to show a timeline of activity, from logging in, browsing for illegal stuff, downloading it, repeated viewings of it, then months later using a wiping utility to get rid of it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:53, Reply)

I thoroughly admire you for your job.
It would do my fucking heid in.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Cheers Mister
It has it's shit moments, but I feel like I'm doing some good.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I agree with Monty
That is certainly job satisfaction putting some dirty nonce away
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:02, Reply)

I salute him too
He gets to look at his favourite pr0nz with impunity.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)

POTD

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Well, if you were a massive pervert with a voracious appetite for images, where better to work?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)

quite
i bet labs gets up to stuff that makes his work-life look pale and tame in comparison.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Chance'd be a fine thing

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

as if
i bet you are beating them off with a stick. a swollen red shiny tipped stick.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Yep, positively swarmed with vag right here
*crickets chirp*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:29, Reply)

And almost all of it involves a mohawk.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)

Ssssh!
And I'm not that massive, I'm actually losing weight!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

ENGAGE GEEK MODE
It is very satisfying to fix support issues for customers, particularly when others have tried and failed. It is also code writing a complicated script that solves issues, etc. and have it work first time
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:54, Reply)

I'm afraid I have to agree with Monty
I never think 'Fuck I'm Awesome' or words along those lines, because most of my life is spent bumping by
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:54, Reply)

holding the client's nerve (and mine) in a tense negotiation
when the numbers get really high, you start to think "what's the difference between £2,100,000 and £2,090,000 anyway, why can't they just split it"? but of course that £10k is your fees and it makes a huge difference to the client. getting a great result is awesome.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 9:55, Reply)

The thing I'm best at is being a good boyfriend
and it's very rewarding to see the effects of that. The thing I'm worst at is remembering that my entire life is not defined by my choice of partner, and that it's OK for me to have some free time without feeling guilty about it.

I also drive a tank
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:03, Reply)

I heard you're a horrible boyfriend who flies of the handle if their partner dare be late home without texting.

( Peej, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Sounds like the first step on the road to wifebeating if you ask me

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:07, Reply)

Nah mate, you're getting me confused with Farth Doxtrot
I am a picture of serenity and understanding at all times
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Nice!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:25, Reply)

The other day someone came in to my office with a macbook
that had been in a car accident and was smashed to pieces. After recovering her data she asked if I could dispose of the smashed up Macbook. Less than a day later I had a fully functioning, almost mint condition Macbook on my desk and had to spend less than £50 on an LG lcd.
( Peej, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:04, Reply)

I'm awesome at handy hints and tips.
I didn't get them from Take a Break either.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:05, Reply)

I love those Take a Break hints.
They are so random.
( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:08, Reply)

I invented all of them.
Except hanging plants in berets. Fuck that shit.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:10, Reply)

my old flatmate used to be head of marketing for yakult
she said people would send in the most extraordinary tips and pictures of ways to re-use old yakult bottles. i can't think of a single one, they are small and crap and plastic. and i also don't think i could bring myself to put yakult in my mouth, curdled rank thick white stuff.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Is it yogurt or milkshake?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:12, Reply)

i think it's one of those bacteria-fest things
urrrgh
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

It's not well known, but scouse con-man Derek Acorah lost his job on "Most Haunted" for advertising bio-yoghurt, in breach of his contract.

That's what you get for dabbling in the Yakult.

*LTI*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:13, Reply)

"GERRIMOFFME SAM!"

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:14, Reply)

Mary loves Dick!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

She just has this great love for DICK!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Hahahaha!

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

*Waves!*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:16, Reply)

*waves*

( girlinthehole, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:17, Reply)

why don't you set yourself a challenge
to go a whole day without making a single shit pun or "joke"?

we'd all pay you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

It's ALWAYS about money with you, isn't it?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

nothing else is important though Jeff
god forbid that anyone would consider one to be cheap!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

oh, i see
you'll both turn down a payrise when it's next offered, will you?

that's easy enough, pass it onto me instead, i could buy some more things and post pictures of them on here!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:40, Reply)

naa, not at all
if someone gets themselves into a position to earn a dickload of money then I salute them.

I don't think my payrises would help though, last one has got me a grand £34 a month extra
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)

sometimes the acknowledgment that you are doing a great job
is actually far more important, esp in the current difficult times where you don't expect a payrise because everyone is sharing the pain.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

that is true
I've had good feedback in the last week and it's been quite a boost.

I'm probably alone in my industry in thinking that I'm actually fairly paid as well.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

Not everyone's sharing the pain though
The rich get richer *sighs*
It's true though, acknowledgment is a better reward than money once you're earning 'enough'. If we don't get a payrise here that's at least in line with inflation then I think some folk will kick off.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

I'm really good at explaining complicated technical hydraulic modelling things to people
I quite enjoy teaching people that stuff because of it.

also: last time we played a gig I cocked up a really simple and obvious bit of lead guitar and got soundly mocked for it by some mates in the audience. To make up for that I played a face-melting guitar solo that actually had a couple of people watching with open mouth, and got a good cheer when I finished.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:22, Reply)

can you teach us
about the complicated technical point when smug turns into arrogant?

ta!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:23, Reply)

it comes when you start getting paid loads
telling everyone how much everything costs, throwing away your linen rather than cleaning it and sending yourself bunches of flowers for Valentine's Day.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Kapowie!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:26, Reply)

+ 'anyone who cooks food must be a cheap pikey'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:27, Reply)

not "anyone"
just you!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

*yawns*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

go back to bed then
that would also fulfil my challenge to you above!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:37, Reply)

ahhhhhh no, the mistake you're making here
is the famous one of believing everything you read on the internet. put your tongue in your cheek and read through that list again.

(unless of course your face is too melted out of shape for it to fit because of the blistering white hot heat of that last guitar solo?!)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:28, Reply)

thing is
you say that it was tongue in cheek but I don't think anyone believes you.

Smug I may be (but I prefer to think of it more as being happy and having some pride) but I'm not arrogant
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:30, Reply)

one man's smugness IS another man's arrogance though
and one man's standoffish-ness is another man's crippling shyness. you can prefer to think of it how you want, you can't control what other people will think of you as a consequence. your comment to me is proof of that - if you knew me in real life, you'd know that i am being flippant most of the time and that much of what gets posted on here is exaggerated for hyperbole or to disguise real facts. but as you don't, you choose to take me literally and think i am spoiled and arrogant. surprise surprise, this is exactly how some of your stuff comes across too! it's just supposed to be funny or entertaining, which is how i always take it.

now shut up and tell me what kind of pants you are wearing.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

got to have a bit of a dig sometimes though ;-)
I'm aware that I may come across as arrogant, but like you I'm rarely serious, particularly on here!

two-tone blue CK trunks. You?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

the actual non-flippant truth is
that i think you're lovely, so there. deal with that!!!

erm... red lace. but not real lace. marks and spencers lace, and guess what, they were 2 for £10. but don't tell anyone.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I don't know how it happens
I'm fairly consistently horrible to everyone and yet they still insist on finding me likeable. It's like a curse or something.

It's ok, I didn't pay anywhere near full price for all my designer pants.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

maybe it's because it's all relative
the comparison with everyone else makes you look shinier than you are?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

on here perhaps
because it's populated almost exclusively by cunts, but that doesn't apply so much to my real life social circles.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

2 for a Tenner?
Will you wear them for a fortnight without changing them, before throwing them in a bin?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:44, Reply)

no
i'm not the one from bristol, remember?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)

Well that was cutting.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Tesco didn't have jalapenos
I had to make myself chilli and lemongrass risotto

It was fucking lovely
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:31, Reply)

that does sound lush
tesco piss me off with their jalapenos. i like the red ones better, but does the little one near me sell them? no, just the pikey-ass green ones. which are ok, but they are not the red ones...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:36, Reply)

Why bother with jalapenos
When you can buy birds eye chillies in Tesco?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:38, Reply)

jalapenos are tastier

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:39, Reply)

on their own, maybe
But for cooking a stir fry (for example) I find one birds eye chilli more spicy and a better taste.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:41, Reply)

dominos used to do a pizza with birds eye chillis on
i like my food spicy, but those evil buggers nearly killed me
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:42, Reply)

I had two of those (on seperate occasions)
The first was lovely, the second was painful.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:43, Reply)

I need a new sig and am too hungover to think of one for myself
Suggestions will be graded for originality and humour. Which basically means don't bother with the gay jokes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:45, Reply)

we're not joking

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)

1/10
Not particularly amusing. No thought gone into it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:51, Reply)

the truth doesn't require much thought
nor is it required to be amusing
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:51, Reply)

Doesn't make for a very good sig though
Come on. Effort.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

"is a 32-year-old telecommunications analyst from Penge"
and then change the town every day.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:54, Reply)

7/10
Marks lost for;

- being reminded of my advanced years every day
- nicking Gonz's joke
- too much effort
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)

How about.
...sits and cries whilst GF goes dogging.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

have you seen how little effort I put into mine?
it's just be a lyric from a song that I'm listening to at the time
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)

I do that too sometimes
Though some sound a bit emo when out of context of the awesome song I'm listening to, so I don't put them in.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:56, Reply)

yeah, that can be a problem
Stuff by MJK tends to be really weird though so is alright.

The current one is Tom Waits.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

This is the problem
A while ago I had a lyric from a CombiChrist song as my sig cos I was listening to it a lot, then I suddenly realised it made me look stoopid. And frankly, I don't need the help.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

I'm listening to 'Today we're all demons' now
Got it last night, this is the first listen through.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:03, Reply)

Fucking superb album
Almost as good as Everybody Hates You. It was the last track on there I took the lyric from
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:04, Reply)

On Kickstart the Fight now
I'm already rocking out.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:07, Reply)

I want to know who the female vocalist on that track is
She sounds hot
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:14, Reply)

Wiki says
Gen from The Genitorturers
And Google Image Search is a little NSFW, but she looks fairly hot!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:17, Reply)

I could have looked that up myself, of course
but I am very lazy
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:24, Reply)

I have song lyrics as well
How about Darth Foxtrot: a Barbie girl in a Barbie world
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:01, Reply)

I was about to post the next line to yours
but that would be a line more appropriate for Darth
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

Didn't knoiw he was into the old folks!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:13, Reply)

animal, vegetable or mineral
he'll do anything to anything
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:18, Reply)

Someone watched Blackadder II last night

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:19, Reply)

heh, no
I just know most of the lines, particularly from that episode.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:20, Reply)

It is a belter
"something twice the size of the royal sail barge has just hoved into view between the sheets!"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:23, Reply)

"there's no point, we have the preliminary sketches"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Hahaha
No
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 11:02, Reply)

When I fix stuff around the office,
I don't get "FUCK YEAH I'M AWESOME" so much as "JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU PEOPLE ARE STUPID", sadly.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:46, Reply)

I get that with clients sometimes
"You want me to download and print off THE INTERNET?!"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:48, Reply)

MY achievement is not reducing my co-workers to tears
as they are all too stupid to live.

tears piles of dismembered body parts
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Not awesome
But I get to be difficult with the large international banks when they make insurance claims for their own fuck ups. Getting to ask senior management difficult and embarrassing questions. Same with Magic Circle law firms.

I enjoy this.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 10:55, Reply)