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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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The art of pathology
is being able to lay the paving slabs completely flat, so that unsuspecting pedestrians don't trip over them and then sue the council for every penny they've got.

Use plenty of sand as a base, and if the ground is a bit uneven, use more sand at the end that is slightly lower down than the other. Make sure that you do this during peak holiday periods so as to completely cut off vital bits of the street when more people will be inconvenienced by it.

Then, in February, rip it all up and start again because you've suddenly realised that there's a bit of budget left and if you don't spend it, the government will take it back and you'll not get it in next year's allocation.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 23:51, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
*snorts*

(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 23:52, Reply)
That's just crazy.
Crazy, crazy paving.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 23:53, Reply)
Just trying to cement our relationship.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 23:54, Reply)
This is a very pedestrian joke...

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 23:54, Reply)
Well lets just put down some foundations. I don't want things getting hardcore.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 23:55, Reply)

This is a very gravel situation.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 16 Feb 2011, 23:58, Reply)
We need to make sure it's pointed in the right direction.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 23:59, Reply)
*Something about bricking it*
Do German builders on holiday leave their trowels on the sunbeds?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 0:05, Reply)
*taps fingers on desk impatiently*

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 0:08, Reply)
No. But they only put their drinks on tables if the tables are properly set.
Something about spirit-levels.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 0:10, Reply)
*Something about smuggling porn out of Germany in a coffin*

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 0:11, Reply)
Ho! DENNIS!
Canny enough place this, though but, I mean, the beer is passible and the boilers are alright.... but it's not as good as where I'm from!
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 0:12, Reply)
Ah tell ye,
Sex is in its infancy in Gatesheed.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 0:17, Reply)
What's Gibraltar like?
Filey, with chimpanzees
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 0:19, Reply)
D' yow wanna coom back to ar 'ut?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 17 Feb 2011, 0:19, Reply)
You RADISH!
How does this contraption work Mr Fraiser?

*Steps on tredmill*
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 0:23, Reply)

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