Have this that I just found that I wrote when it happened about 5 years ago
"I don't know how many of you heard of my exploits on the 21st of September (ie getting arrested) But here is the lowdown to bring you up to speed so I can do a rant in a bit.


I got on the train at Frizinghall on the morning. (you can't buy a ticket at Frizinghall station, it's one of those crap middle-of-the-sticks stations.) BUT I was going to Dom's house that afternoon/evening, and the trains stop going to Frizinghall at about 6pm.

So, Mr ticket inspector (henceforth to be known as Cockface) comes along, and I ask to buy a half fare return to Bradford, which is supposed to cost £2.05. I had done this on at least 7 other occaisions and never had a problem, but Cockface tries to charge me £4.10 because I 'should have got a ticket at Bradford Station'. I explain (calmly) I got on at Frizinghall but that I can't get back to Frizinghall because of the time I'll be travelling back.

Cockface continues to try charge me £4.10 and continues to tell me theat I shoudl have got a ticket at Bradford if I wanted a return to there. Slightly losing patience, I tell him again that I got on at Frizinghall and so couldn't get a ticket. Cockface continues. I then tell him if he's going to charge me twice as much for a ticket as I should pay I'll just buy a ticket at Leeds Station.

Cockface asks to see my half fare pass and snatches it off me and doesn't give me it back. Cockface then looks at me and says 'Look, little lady, I've told you enough times now. Now you can either buy a ticket now or have someone meet you at Leeds station.' I look at him and say 'I'm NOT paying £4.10 for a ticket I should only pay £2.05 for. Can I have my half fare pass back please?'. Cockface says 'No, someone can meet you at Leeds Station.' he then walks off into next carriage. I leave it about 3 minutes then go into the next carriage and calmly ask him for my half fare pass back. Cockface looks at me and says 'I'm not giving you it back, I've told you, if you wanted a return to Bradford you should have got a ticket at Bradford'. I ask him again. He tells me the same again. I ask him AGAIN (losing patience a bit now). Tells me the same.

I then say 'Look, there's no need to be so fucking uptight.' Cockface then grabs the guy nearest him and says (in very flustered voice, like it's the highlight of his miserable life as a ticket collector) 'Did you hear that? Did you hear what she just said?' Guy nods, Cockface takes his details. I go sit down and chill for a bit. Anyways, train pulls in at Leeds and I get off and have to wait 20 minutes with Cockface to see a Policeman. During this time the following conversation takes place:



Me: 'Dude, can I just have my half fare pass and go, I'm gonna be late for college.'

Cockface: 'Well you should have thought of that'

Me: 'Just because SOME of us want to get an education and actually DO something, rather than just being ticket inspectors...*dirty look from Cockface* yeah, you heard me.'

Anyways, Bobby comes along, chats to Cockface, Cockface said I called him a 'Fucking Arsehole', which I did NOT.



Cockface then has to go be a ticket inspecting WANKER somewhere else. So Policeman and me chat. I tell Policeman what I actually said, Policeman gives me half fare pass back, I tell Policeman I have to be at college and shiz, do a bit of fake crying and whatnot, he tells me he has to give me a warning and I may get a court order but the station will probably trash this as soon as it comes in, and he gives me the option to either leave or stay and answer a few questions. I stay, in the hope of getting it all sorted out quicker. He reads me my rights. He's very nice about it all, I answer his questions, I admit I shouldn't have sworn, but tell Policeman that Cockface's incredibly rude demeanour provoked me. Policeman then walks me through the gate so I don't have to pay AT ALL. I thank Policeman and go, thinking this will be the end of the matter. I even DON'T file a complaint against Cockface so the whole thing will go away.





BUT OH NO.



Today I get a letter... ok, the 'Parent or Guardian of....' gets a letter. Anyways, point is, someone gets a letter from the British Transport Police. it says 'BelladonnaAnodyne has been reported with a view to recieveing a summons to go to court for an offence of BAD LANGUAGE........However the case will be considered by a senior police officer to decide if BelladonnaAnodyne can recieve a police reprimand as an alternative to court proceedings.'"


OH YEAH I'M COOL. I've also been kidnapped by buses on three seperate occasions, and the whole "walking down the M1 in a blizzard National Express fiasco" from last year. And it's going to take me 8 hours to get to Brighton when I go.

ALT: Snog - Darth, Marry - Darth, Avoid - everyone who isn't Darth as I have promised to be extra-super-nice to him today.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 13:58, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

LINE BREAKS

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 13:59, Reply)

I was 16!
*goes to edit*
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:02, Reply)

USE SMALL TAGS WHILE YOU'RE AT IT BITCH

(PsychoChomp, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Was there the option of getting a permit to travel at Frizzinghall?

(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Is swearing illegal?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Achem, apparently so.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Yes, if you swear at a policeman you can be done under public order offences
If you swear at a ticket inspector that counts as abuse.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:07, Reply)

They even have signs up saying that those abusing ticket inspectors will be prosecuted

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Well, I know that now.
But I didn't swear *at* him, I didn't call him anything offensive. I just said the word "fucking".
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:09, Reply)

That is fucking brilliant
Thank you for brightening my day
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I had to go on Myspace to find it
I hope you're happy.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:11, Reply)

I actually wish I hadn't promised you such an awesome birthday present
Because you deserve better than I can afford
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:14, Reply)

I'm going to be extra-super-nice to you more often
Anyway, in conclusion: I am not to be trusted with public transport. Or public transport is not to be trusted with me. One of the two.

Dreading going to see Brighton Boy now. 8 hours. National Express. Help.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Noise cancelling headphones and no sleep for the previous 24 hours

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Bottle of wine, and a good book (5 of each)

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:31, Reply)

That's how I do everything

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 22 Feb 2011, 14:35, Reply)