Didn't you used to engaged in scatological sexual practices?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 15:58, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Well, to paraphrase Shakespeare,
Some are born shit, some achieve shit and some have shit thrust upon them.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:00, Reply)

no, no way and never

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:00, Reply)

I would like to draw the attention of the jury to the following exhibit:
b3ta.com/questions/itsover/

Winning story
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:02, Reply)

motion to strike out
approved

that was NOT me! and i RAN AWAY! FAST!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Ha, motion!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:12, Reply)

she's got a glass coffee table especially for that

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:01, Reply)

oddly enough
i actually do have a glass coffee table and dining table. not for that though!

they are beautiful but god they are a pain in the arse. every fucking fingerprint...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:02, Reply)

I'd hate the noise of things clanging around on the surface

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:05, Reply)

you aren't allowed to put things on them
you might scratch them! and they were VERY EXPENSIVE.

(unlike my dfs sofas and argos side-table)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:06, Reply)

HOW MUCH AND BY WHICH DESIGNER?
THIS IS IMPORTANT!
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:07, Reply)

can't remember the designer
some italian dude, they are handmade wood in swirly shapes and then glass tops.

the coffee table was about £2.5k, the dining table about £4.5k and the chocolate suede chairs £650 each (x6). only at this point did dad announce that i had a £10k budget for furniture. i did my maths. realised i was still short of sofas, beds, cutlery and other kitchen equipment, towels, tv...

sometimes it is important to write these things out just to remind yourself what a totally incompetent fuckwit you can be.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:10, Reply)

I demand a Bateman-esque description of the items in question.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:18, Reply)

kinda like this
www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://furnish.co.uk/photos/articles/regular/dining-tables/dining-tables-6771.jpg%3F1292787161&imgrefurl=http://furnish.co.uk/features/677-spotlight-on-tom-schneider&usg=__UlrLIpyJYdHWzlzdyx3B_9YBb8U=&h=400&w=384&sz=13&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=NreARuJZiHbd3M:&tbnh=163&tbnw=156&ei=3YVmTc2eM9O3hAe8je2sDQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dtom%2Bschneider%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1260%26bih%3D839%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=1014&vpy=445&dur=125&hovh=229&hovw=220&tx=180&ty=105&oei=3YVmTc2eM9O3hAe8je2sDQ&page=1&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:17,s:0
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:22, Reply)

I wouldn't buy it
but it is pretty.
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:25, Reply)

mine is much paler wood and
a different shape and all sorts. that was just the closest i could find!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:29, Reply)

fucking hell
I could furnish a whole street for 10k
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:28, Reply)

i did the rest of the flat for a fraction of that
i had to!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:29, Reply)

I furnished a house for about £45 quid
freecycle FTW
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:36, Reply)

pikey

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Feb 2011, 16:41, Reply)