I suggest you e-mail her and tell her than her profile is her one chance to make a first impression
And that OT thinks she sounds like a moron.

You'll be doing her a favour.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:35, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

no no no
upload the profile to failblog, then take a screenshot of the page THEN e-mail her that
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:36, Reply)

That's so mean
I read that and figured it was you before I got to the name.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:37, Reply)

Is this the point when you reluctantly tell us you've been mailing her for months?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:39, Reply)

Christ no
that type of English is instant rejection. It was the shear sheer quantity of crapness that made me want to bring it to your attention.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:49, Reply)

What site did you find her on?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:50, Reply)

OKCupid
search for shinehi
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:02, Reply)

Surely Lorraine should be on OKStupid?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:03, Reply)

I was thinking of emailing her this:
Well, I don't really know what to put here, so here goes! Hi, I'm Lorraine from Nottingham. I'm a laid-back kind of woman and I've been on my own now for about 5 years. I've started to think that life is too short, so it's time to get back out there and meet some one to share it with.

I love nights out, trips to the cinema, and going out for a meal - or just stopping in, cuddled up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and a good film. All the usual stuff, really - I just miss walking down the street holding someone's hand, getting the butterflies and feeling so happy...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:42, Reply)

Add this to the end of it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=au8PhQ87cFw
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:43, Reply)

I'd email back
yeh bet u think ur so much betta than me now becase u ar gud wit words.

Then I'd post your profile picture to failblog, take a screenshot and attach to the above email
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Sat 26 Feb 2011, 23:43, Reply)

Hah do that
I reckon that's a pretty original response that makes your stance clear without taking the piss too harshly. Might encourage her to read a book for once..
(Alfonso Bongo BELL AIRE HORSE EXTRAORDINAIRE, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:08, Reply)

*does my B-boy stance*

(Alfonso Bongo BELL AIRE HORSE EXTRAORDINAIRE, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:09, Reply)

+ent

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:14, Reply)

stanceent? Bent-boy? I r fick an dunt unnerstan

(Alfonso Bongo BELL AIRE HORSE EXTRAORDINAIRE, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:21, Reply)

Bent boy.
Sorry, I was going for the cheap laugh.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 27 Feb 2011, 0:22, Reply)