*spills*

*zips up*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 8:39, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Pfft!

( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 8:39, Reply)

My sister wants to take me and my little girl to the zoo this Saturday,
Despite her living 1.5hrs drive away my ex has insisted we bring my kid back by 1:30 'because she's being driven to Kent'.

When I asked why this couldn't be done later I was given these excellent and completely valid reasons:

1. It would interfere with my daughter's meal times (she eats at 6:30/7pm and the drive to Kent is 1hr: if they left at 5:30 that would be fine)
2. They don't want to get caught up in the rush hour. On a Saturday???
3. Her parents are old and don't like driving in the dark. It gets dark at six and also her dad is a builder - presumably he has to go home at 4pm in winter because he is scared of the dark.

What a fackin' cant, eh readers?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 8:51, Reply)

Bitches be trippin.
Sorry to hear that hon.
( girlinthehole, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 8:54, Reply)

definitely a cant.
I'll cunt her in the fuck for you if I can.
(Poppet some assembly required., Tue 1 Mar 2011, 8:54, Reply)

Steal something small and vicious from the zoo
and release it in said ex's flat whilst daughter is away. Profit.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 8:54, Reply)

The thing is,
given the time allowed, we'd be able to get to the gates of the zoo but wouldn't actually have the time to go inside.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 8:55, Reply)

And your daughter would think that's a shih tzu.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 8:57, Reply)

...which is presumably why the restraining order says you have to remain 100 yards away, right?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 8:58, Reply)

I'm not a fan of the shih tzu, you always think you're going to break them.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 8:59, Reply)

Well then
this is an admirable reason for borrowing some animals from said zoo for your daughter to look at in the car on the way back. And then accidentally release into the wild of her kitchen.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 8:57, Reply)

What will she do if you get back late?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 8:56, Reply)

Go fucking mental and refuse to let me take her out again.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 9:06, Reply)

What a mentalist she is.
Does she have a bloke these days? You'll probably find that when she gets webbed up with a new bloke, she'll relax a lot more.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 9:07, Reply)

All I know is she had a dozen red roses in a vase after Valentine's Day.
So some poor cunt still hasn't realised.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

or she bought them herself in some mental hope of making you jealous
of course...
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

...or her long-suffering dad sent them to minimise tantrum potential.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 1 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)