It's alright
Mrs Morgan has Alzheimers now and a nasty case of c.diff
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:46, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

A terminal case of clunge cancer, maybe?

(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)

YES!
And do you know why Amberl? Because of chronic underinvestment in the health service by the Conservatives.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)

nah she contracted it in the Labour years
when hospital hygiene became a secondary consideration.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)

secondary consideration was contracted out to any old company at vast expense and was hugely inefficient.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)

My mate saw a bloke cleaning in a hospital waiting area.
He had some sign on his trolley saying something like "we're on a big hygiene drive to make things safer and cleaner for you, you'll see us around the hospital a lot from now on yadda yadda" and then he watched as the fella wiped carefully around the edge of a bin, a wall-mounted phone, a counter top, ALL WITH THE SAME DAMP RAG.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)

Actually, her sister, another skitting bitch, lost her mind completely.
They used make fun of this lad with a stammer, and then their neice grew up to have a terrible speech impediment. No matter what lessons life threw their way they never learnt to be nicer people.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Ms Morgan plays the organ
Her brother plays the drums.
Her sister had a blister in the middle of her bum.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Not last night, but the night before, three tomcats came knocking at the door
One with a trumpet,
one with a drum,
and one with toilet paper stuck to his bum.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)

Oh, the white cat pissed in the black cat's eye
and the black cat said 'Cor blimey!'
the white cat said 'it's your own bloody fault
you shouldn't have stood behind me.'

Just thought I'd join in, like.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:02, Reply)

I've never heard that one!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:05, Reply)

My grandad used to sing it to me when he came in from the pub drunk
I must have been about 4 the first time, I vividly remember my gran trying to shush him and really not managing it.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:07, Reply)

My Grandad used to either sing
Never fear, Grandpa's here, have a beer, with good cheer, my dear, d'yer 'ear?
Or Spotty Muldoon.
Depending on how old/spotty I was and how drunk he was.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:09, Reply)

I sometimes used to get Boney M or Beatles songs
if he's been at the jukebox.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:11, Reply)

Oh and he used to sing "Oh Rosie you are my posie"
because when we asked where he'd been he'd say with his girlfriend Rosie. Nana used to say "I wish you'd run off with her then!"
Every time.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Clichélols
Gotta love your grandparents, bless 'em.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:16, Reply)

*Sighs*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:06, Reply)

*Grins*
that must count as some kind of win, I don't think you've ever sighed at anything I've said before.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)

I just want you to know the PAIN it causes when you receive an Internet sighing.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)

*bent wrist to forehead*
oh woe, WOE, the PAIN, how can you stand it? I'm so sorry Jeff, I'll never subject you to that again.

may contain traces of sarcasm and lies.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:12, Reply)

This may also contain traces of sarcasm and lies.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSHaCzb3yYk
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:14, Reply)

No youtoob at work I'm afraid.
I take it that was you telling me to fuck off via the medium of song?
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:17, Reply)

It was Father Jack

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:18, Reply)

I've never seen Father Ted.

(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)

Father Jack saying 'sorry' to Bishop Brennan.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)