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This is a question Off Topic

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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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New thread time!
Love to hate/hate to love

I love to hate going to concerts, it's like a passion to be able to tell people exactly how I feel about them.
I hate to love Ke$ha. But I kinda do.

Alt: tell us a not so secret secret
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:08, 166 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
Not so secret secret
Famous offtopicer ****** ****** ****** and then ***** *** who's **** ***** ****** at a bash!
(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:09, Reply)
That appears to be fairly secret

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:10, Reply)
read between the lines!
he's talking about ****** and when **** *******
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)
but don't let ****** know because ******* **** ******!

(PsychoChomp, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:12, Reply)
holy ******!

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:12, Reply)
Ohhh!
Why didn't you just say?

Don't forget about the time *****, ********, ***** AND ******* fucked *** up the arse with a broomshank in the middle of the ***** pub
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:12, Reply)
Good question Kristine!
I love to hate all the egos and politics in work
I hate to love shitty sweets like Haribo
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:11, Reply)
Alt: I'm not really a Granddad.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:12, Reply)
I didn't know you were pretending to be!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)
I for one am saddend.
I would never have taken that Worthers Original had I known.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)
haha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)
I found mine in my coat
three days later
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:18, Reply)
You bloody would have, and you know it.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)
whaaaaaaaat

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)
I NOES RITE?
Internet shocker or what?
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:22, Reply)
You say that, and people believe you.
When I point out that I don't really fuck dogs, I get ignored.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:14, Reply)
*ignores Jeff*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)
Woof!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)
Ironically, whilst I'm not really a Dark Lord of the Sith,
I'd prefer it if that WAS my meme
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:19, Reply)
*facepalms*
I think you'll find you mean "WERE," you revolting Bum Lord of the Sith.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)
Reminds me of the old Jerry Sadowitz chestnut:
Angus, he paints his fence. Is he called Angus the Fence-Painter? He is not.
John, he cuts his hedge. Do they call him John the Hedge-Cutter? No, they don't.
I fuck ONE sheep...
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)
Charlie Quick*

*this is a Clive Dunn reference, not a demand for MDs.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Hahaha

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Alrite Darth, have you set up an exclusion zone around yourself?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:20, Reply)
Yeah man
I've got a team of midgets walking perimeter around me everywhere I go. I'm like Gwen Stefani circa 2005
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:22, Reply)
Dunno you seemed awfully upset and serious not so long ago

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)
My midgets soothe me

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)
Oh look, you've been entered into a death match above

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:26, Reply)
You prance around to camp, bouncy electro singing "tick! tock! tick! tock! tick! tock! tick! tock!"?

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)
Being a burly chap
I hate it that I love the film Grease.

And Annie.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)
There's plenty of fat gay men around

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)
haha!
You get your first click from me for that one
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)
Totally sweet

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Less of the fat.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)
I love to hate ALL musicals

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)
Are you mental?
Have you SEEN Chicago?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:20, Reply)
Nope
and I never intend to. People should not burst into song in the middle of a scene (unless they are playing the mentals)
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:21, Reply)
I'm talking about the actual musical, not the film (which is also great)
Although if you object to musical numbers you probably wouldn't go and see a musical. Clue's in the name.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:22, Reply)
I would turn off any film where people broke into song
Unless it was a film about a musician

EDIT:
or part of the story (The Godfather start, for instance)
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)
*invokes Monty Python and the Holy Grail rule*

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)
If you've never seen either version of The Producers you're missing out.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:38, Reply)
I'm with you on this one.
Musicals are bent. Apart from Spamalot.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)
And maybe Bugsy Malone.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)
I've not seen either of those
but I'll wager Spamalot is worth watching
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Spamalot is excellent.
Saw it last year up here, and in London when it first came over.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:26, Reply)
As a wise man once said, if genres of music were a family then musicals would be the creepy uncle that got the kids to sit on his lap and play horsey.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)
alt: while I hate concerts due to the crowds of drunken morons, if I'm at church, or watching tv and someone sings I cry

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:15, Reply)
What if someone sings songs on the internet?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:17, Reply)
it depends on what it is, in general I'm a massive cry baby

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:20, Reply)
this ones currently hitting me
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ak7i_3-0TxI&feature=related
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)
I am an appalling deviant.
Also, I love to hate involuntarily chanting "POPPIN' BODDLES IN THE ICE, LIKE A BLIZZARD / WHEN WE DRINK WE DO IT RIGHT, GETTIN' SLIZZERED" under my breath in a mong voice whenever that song comes on the radio.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:18, Reply)
best kind of deviant

(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Can't stand half-hearted deviants.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:23, Reply)
This MUST be the not so secret secret, right?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:19, Reply)
Well, yes. Seeing as "love" and "hate" don't come into that sentence at any point.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:22, Reply)
THAT'S THE JOKE
as we are all deviants on here
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:23, Reply)
That is an excellent joke. This one is even better:
Q. Why does Gok Wan's face look so knacked?
A. Because his glasses are somewhat unflattering, and don't really suit the shape of his face at all.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)
Hahahahhaahahahahhaaaaaaaaa!
*breathes*
hahahahahaha...............
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:26, Reply)
I had that as my ring back tone, my dad was all "what the fuck is on the phone when I call, sounds like they're saying cheese dick"

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)
all the sober girls around me they be actin' like they drunk they be actin' like they drunk all the sober girls around me they be actin' like they drunk they be actin' like they dru-unk

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)
I'm totally with you on the ke$ha thing

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:18, Reply)
Umm... bumder?
I think this makes you gay, but I've heard the word so many times that it's lost all meaning
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:21, Reply)
Join in the party DF.
It's a party in the USA.
(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)
I love to hate more things than I have time or inclination to list.
I hate to love 'Jump' by Van Halen. It's fucking terrible but I really do like it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:20, Reply)
Have you seen the video for that song?
You massive bender.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:22, Reply)
He's in it, Jeff.
Monty in spandex is not a sight I want to see on a regular basis.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:23, Reply)
I alternate between spandex and jeggings, Davvers.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:24, Reply)
I think I'm gonna be sick...

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)
You've got to roll with the punches DG.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)
A bloke's got his limits, Jeff.
The thought of Monty 'doing a Darth' in skin tights is not something I wish to have randomly wake me at 3am in a cold sweat.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

spandex anus jeggings mouth

/spacedocklolz
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)
hahahahaha

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)
Go ahead

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:22, Reply)
Alt: I'm a fucking cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:21, Reply)
you're a lovely lovely man!
With a heart of gold. Cold, hard and a bugger to find.
(I helped save b3ta! SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:25, Reply)
*CLICK*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:29, Reply)
Right, I'm off to Blackpool. Joy
Have a great weekend everyone.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)
Have a good time, you jive bunny

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)
Have you managed to persuade the missus to let you out earlier tomorrow?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:32, Reply)
Still working on it!
Parents are good for babysitting duties so I'll try and get there for 7.30pm. I will text BGB when I know the score
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)
OK.
Look forward to meeting you.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)
He's a fucking wizard.
Much nicer than you are.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Everybody's nicer than me, Montague.
I push old ladies over in Asda and everything.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)
I was in a Morrisons yesterday
I think it must have been pension day. There were so many examples of the walking dead I felt like I was in a Romero film.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)
OMG ME TOO!
I really hate the new self service checkouts they've put in. "Please put the item in the bag". Every time you scan something.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:43, Reply)
I've never actually been in a Morrisons.
My brother says their meat is cheap and edible, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)
I think your brother might be half right

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)
Their steak mince is about the best supermarket mince you can buy imo.
Very little fat, and three 700g packs for a tenner.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)
Strangely enough Waitrose mince is very good value and extremely tasty.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)
I have never had it.
Mainly because I've never lived anywhere near a Waitrose, probably.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)

bunny turkey
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)
My name's not Joy.
L8RZ
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)
Has the great, mincing freak properly gone now?

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)
*cracks beer, opens Sun*

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)
Alt: TGB is a thoroughly nice person
It's actually DG that's a complete bastard!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)
I am that, Aggers.
Utter cunt of the highest order, me.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:38, Reply)
It's funny cos it's true!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)
It's funny cos it takes one to know one!
/Playground taunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)
Ah well.
I'm rather jealous of the weekend you've got planned!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)
Yeah, me too
Only the cool kids got invited though. :(
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)
Seems that way!
What a bunch o' bastards.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)
What time are you getting there?

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)
Don't be stupid Jeff
she said "Kids", we all now Berk is getting on a bit, you know, starting to sag a bit in key places, that kind of thing.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:42, Reply)
That's not a problem I'll have for years yet
I'm too flatchested to really suffer the effects of gravity.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)
Pfft!
I'm going to Gloucester to visit a mate of mine instead.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)
and here I thought
you were coming to share some Relentless with me
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:48, Reply)
Aww, sorry :(
I am chronically sleep deprived at the minute though (albeit not as much as you, I'm sure) and the last thing I need is energy drinks!
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)
Technically speaking they invited themselves.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)
I would have brought cake and everything, DG
*shakes head sorrowfully*
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:43, Reply)
I brought wine when I last went
it must have been shit wine though, as I didn't get another invite.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)
Well my cake is awesome
I'd be guaranteed an invite back, unless I threw up on the dalek or something.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)
Er, hello, Iron Maiden concert?
You fat cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)
Oh yeah
I forgot I so rudely threw your kind invitation to stay back in your faces.




Sorry.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)
You're still welcome to pop over.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)
I'll have to see how it plays out, but thank you very much for the offer
Weekends with Chap have a tendency to be highly drunken affairs and difficult to predict.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)
We'll always have July, Al.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)
Next time, berk.
We have limited room this weekend as it's Sweary Jr's birthday today and he's having some mates stay. Otherwise you could totally have come.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)
Aww, I'm teasing!
it sounds like I'm being really passive aggressive now :( but yes, next time if I'm free that'd be lovely.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)
No, not at all.
But you would be most welcome next time :)
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)
Yay!

(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)
Oh you're reminding me of myself when I asked Mrs Morgan if she could open the gate to her yard as she had all the mothers and kids from the street playing there
and she kept pretending she couldn't hear me, and then my dad came out and shouted at me to come home (and then probably shouted something like "cunts" at them.)
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)
Mrs Morgan sounds like a right bitch
what a nasty thing to do to a kid.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)
I understand they thought my mum was up herself
and me being an only child, and annoying and chatty, well, easy target.
But they didn't bank on my dad. I'll have to ask him what he shouted.
He said it broke his heart and no matter if it was the kid of his worst enemy he wouldn't do that.
She was a skitting cunt. Used to make fun of one of the kids with a stammer.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)
When I was a kid, if I didn't like one of the neighbours
I'd take a dump in their shed. Trufax.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)
I pissed on next door's bike
but it was an accident.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)
I'm giving myself too much credit.
It was only the once, I'd never met them and I was desperate.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)
There was this other lad, his name was Mullen
but I called him Doolit.
I could hear myself saying Mullen, but everyone said I was calling him 'Doolit' and they thought there must have been a reason. I still don't understand because I was only a toddler, and I clearly recall it coming out as 'Mullen'.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)
I once made a really off-colour Bob Monkhouse style mother in law joke to my stepdad
I didn't know the woman he was talking to was his ex-wife.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)
"Take my ex-wife, please."

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)
It's funny cos it can be applied to my ex wife.
Take my wife - every fucker else has.
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)
Haha
trolloplolz
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)
God rest her soul...

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:04, Reply)
nervouslaughterlolz

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)
Nah it's fine.
She died last year of a particularly aggressive brain cancer. Just goes to show that being a non-smoking, vegetarian, exercise junkie isn't all it's cracked up to be.

*Opens second can of beer and dips crisps in lard*
(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)
*Eats last Rocky Robin,
crosses heart and hopes not to shit*
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:11, Reply)
D:

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)
Just because you don't like someone
doesn't mean you should bully their kid though. What a nasty cunt she must have been.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)
As Grandma said "God is slow but sure..."
What she really meant was "I hope they all die slowly with papercuts and vinegar."
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)
*stands open mouthed while a single solitary tear rolls down his cheek*

*gets on with work again*
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)
that's so sad

(I helped save b3ta! Lisette von Falcon, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)
It's alright
Mrs Morgan has Alzheimers now and a nasty case of c.diff
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)
A terminal case of clunge cancer, maybe?

(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)
YES!
And do you know why Amberl? Because of chronic underinvestment in the health service by the Conservatives.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)
nah she contracted it in the Labour years
when hospital hygiene became a secondary consideration.
(I helped save b3ta! Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)

secondary consideration was contracted out to any old company at vast expense and was hugely inefficient.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)
My mate saw a bloke cleaning in a hospital waiting area.
He had some sign on his trolley saying something like "we're on a big hygiene drive to make things safer and cleaner for you, you'll see us around the hospital a lot from now on yadda yadda" and then he watched as the fella wiped carefully around the edge of a bin, a wall-mounted phone, a counter top, ALL WITH THE SAME DAMP RAG.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:03, Reply)
Actually, her sister, another skitting bitch, lost her mind completely.
They used make fun of this lad with a stammer, and then their neice grew up to have a terrible speech impediment. No matter what lessons life threw their way they never learnt to be nicer people.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Ms Morgan plays the organ
Her brother plays the drums.
Her sister had a blister in the middle of her bum.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)
Not last night, but the night before, three tomcats came knocking at the door
One with a trumpet,
one with a drum,
and one with toilet paper stuck to his bum.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)
Oh, the white cat pissed in the black cat's eye
and the black cat said 'Cor blimey!'
the white cat said 'it's your own bloody fault
you shouldn't have stood behind me.'

Just thought I'd join in, like.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:02, Reply)
I've never heard that one!

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:05, Reply)
My grandad used to sing it to me when he came in from the pub drunk
I must have been about 4 the first time, I vividly remember my gran trying to shush him and really not managing it.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:07, Reply)
My Grandad used to either sing
Never fear, Grandpa's here, have a beer, with good cheer, my dear, d'yer 'ear?
Or Spotty Muldoon.
Depending on how old/spotty I was and how drunk he was.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:09, Reply)
I sometimes used to get Boney M or Beatles songs
if he's been at the jukebox.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:11, Reply)
Oh and he used to sing "Oh Rosie you are my posie"
because when we asked where he'd been he'd say with his girlfriend Rosie. Nana used to say "I wish you'd run off with her then!"
Every time.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)
Clichélols
Gotta love your grandparents, bless 'em.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:16, Reply)
*Sighs*

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:06, Reply)
*Grins*
that must count as some kind of win, I don't think you've ever sighed at anything I've said before.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)
I just want you to know the PAIN it causes when you receive an Internet sighing.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)
*bent wrist to forehead*
oh woe, WOE, the PAIN, how can you stand it? I'm so sorry Jeff, I'll never subject you to that again.

may contain traces of sarcasm and lies.
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:12, Reply)
This may also contain traces of sarcasm and lies.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSHaCzb3yYk
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:14, Reply)
No youtoob at work I'm afraid.
I take it that was you telling me to fuck off via the medium of song?
(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:17, Reply)
It was Father Jack

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:18, Reply)
I've never seen Father Ted.

(berk, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)
Father Jack saying 'sorry' to Bishop Brennan.

(I helped save b3ta! Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 4 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)
Alt not so secret secret
I have a piercing. And I Love it.
(Catomiagi is in with a chance, Fri 4 Mar 2011, 20:32, Reply)

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