My trip into work this morning was nowhere near right.
The M4 from junction 4b to 3 was closed this morning. This backed traffic up right the way around the M25 to where I get on, which in turn backed up the A3 all the way back to Guildford. I travelled at a dead crawl almost all the way to work and at the one point where the traffic was moving, somebody cuts somebody else up, causing a line of traffic to have to slam on the anchors, which ends up with me narrowly avoiding slamming into the car in front of me and the girl behind me having to emergency-abort onto the hard shoulder in order to avoid me.

Having escaped the motorway of death, the M40 was backed up due to reasons of its own and, as a parting shot, I get a large rock crack my windscreen.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:05, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You tell the best stories

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Your one line posts are the best pointlessly mardy one line posts out there.

( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:07, Reply)

*doffs hat*

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Cool story bro.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I have given up ever telling my mates anything due to the fear of being on the end of a 'cool story bro' reply.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Cool sto....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Ha, it can be fucking applied to anything!

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Oh man, this story could only be improved if you mentioned a game of poker and talked about rivers, flops and [card]-highs.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Would a forest scene be too much window dressing, Gonz?

( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:10, Reply)

You know the story of Robbin Hood? Well, someone said the same thing about that, and Bryan Adams was in the charts for 18 weeks because of it.
Think about that, next time you threaten to add a forrest scene into a perfectly good film.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I'm curious, Gonz. How would you tell the story of Robin Hood without mentioning a forest.
Perhaps a modern, urban retelling of the legend where Hood is some New York street punk and Marion is a member of one of America's moneyed families? Perhaps not a Rockefeller exactly, but one of those types with the mansion and the European pretentions?

The Sheriff could be the mayor or something, who's cracking down on crime in the inner city and it has the result of cutting off allt he meth factories that supplement the poor families' incomes and so Hood starts jacking cars and popping caps in the asses of busters in order to keep his homies folks ticking over.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Cool story, bro.

( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:34, Reply)

haha

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Yeh', exactly, much much better. Or it could have a twist to mean "Robbing the neighbourhood", a bunch of bent cops.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:43, Reply)

What, like Brighton Constabulary?

( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Yeah', ok then, they could be on exchange with NYPD in Harlem (the real 'hood).

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:46, Reply)