So let me get this straight, gettng married isn't just an opportunity to declare your love for the one closest to you in front of a room of people formerly closest to you
but it's also a good excuse to totally refit your kitchen and get loads of free crap? Hmmmm...
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:03, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You forgot the massive party, cakes and a guaranteed end away

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:05, Reply)

I do need a big stock pot and a nice food processor...

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:09, Reply)

Guaranteed? Really?
Surely on your wedding night you should be drunker than you've ever been in your life?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I didn't say it was my end guaranteed!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

My best man-friend was so pissed his new wife's friends had to help her out of her dress and put him to bed fully-dressed.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:17, Reply)

this is not going to happen
I fully intend to roger my mrs while she is wearing her dress
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Good man
*shakes hands firmly*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Rude not to, really.

( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Don't forget the shitloads of family at the wedding, going out on the churps with all my cousins and aunties in ear-shot really doesn't appeal to me.
Oh, oh my, I've just realised, I've only been to family weddings.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:53, Reply)

that is correct
aside from the massive price tag, there are no drawbacks
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Damn, I forgot about the room rentals, £150-a-head meals and all that crap.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:11, Reply)

naa, fuck that
it doesn't need to be that expensive. The venues, and food and booze and all that gubbins are costing us about £5.5k for 80ish people I think.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:12, Reply)

This is about what we paid

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)

At the risk of sounding horribly materialistic about the happiest day of your life
I wouldn't mind getting an idea of total cost. One day I'm going to bloody well ask the missus to marry me and I'd very much like it if I didn't have to save up for two years after getting a yes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Ours cost around £8000
for about 50 people for the main do with food and 120 for the evening do
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:15, Reply)

ours is similar
with 80 people at the main do.

photographer is doing it for free which is nice. no cars or anything
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Photographer cost us nearly £2K!
He was the best one by a mile and was there from 10am until about 10pm
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

this is a friend of my bro's.
he is really very good.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Ours was from Morpeth
DG/Tourettes territory. I would recommend him to anyone!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Do the saving up before the asking.
I can recommend opening an account with the Cayman Island banking system. Those chaps are very helpful and unfailingly discreet.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I reckon I'll have plenty of time to do the saving
I'm getting quite fond of this offshore banking thing, I'll see if I can get my Nigerian contacts to transfer the money I'm promised straight to the Caymans
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Which is almost £80 per person.
You must really like your friends and family.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I imagine he's told them all that they're costing him £80 a head
so they know how much to spend on wedding gifts
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I wouldn't be so crass

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

No I didn't really think that was likely
Although it's not a bad idea, for anyone of diminished moral standing.

*remembers in case Monty pops the question to Lusty*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Things always have been so
and so they shall always be.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:09, Reply)

The party, the free stuff, the honeymoon and the wedding dance are the best bets I have of selling Ms Foxtrot on the idea one day

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Traditionally the wedding gifts are given as thank yous for being invited to the wedding and having a party put on for you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:56, Reply)