Boring.
I am in the process of trying to decide what I want to receive as wedding gifts.

I already have things like nice saucepans and knives and a new Magimix on the list. I already have a breadmaker and don't want to ask for a new toaster and kettle because I don't know what my kitchen is going to be like when we get it done in a year or so.

Give me your suggestions.

also, my parents seem fixated on buying us cutlery. I've tried to stress that I don't want silver ones. Find me some cool and fairly expensive cutlery if you feel like it.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:38, 217 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Kitchenaid mixer.
So fantastically expensive that you're unlikely to ever buy it for yourselves, yet good enough quality that you'll keep it forever.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:39, Reply)

this is the sort of answer I'm looking for

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:40, Reply)

Get it in lime green
That way you won't ever have to worry about it not matching your kitchen decor because it never, ever will under any circumstances.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:41, Reply)

I'm the sort of person who would have a lime green kitchen
so this might work
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:43, Reply)

It's kind of difficult, because you don't want to waste this opportunity
to get a load of free, expensive stuff. You want it to last, obviously. Not many place sell things that don't have an inbuilt shelf life now.

Chicks love the Kitchenaids, though.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:49, Reply)

that's why I am struggling
I do most of the cooking, so the kitchen stuff is really all for my benefit.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Everybody loves aids.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:58, Reply)

Money to charity?

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:39, Reply)

don't be ridiculous

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:39, Reply)

Why is it ridiculous?

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:40, Reply)

because I'm getting married, not a charity.
you may have missed it, but I am a horrible and self-centred bastard
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Oh yes! sorry!
I forgot.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:42, Reply)

i didn't miss it
it's why we get on so well
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:42, Reply)

*high fives*
I drove near your place the other day. well nearish anyway
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:45, Reply)

ooh which one?
work, home, cornwall or cheshire?

and why didn't you say hi!?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:47, Reply)

home
went through london to get to my bro's place rather than round the m25 which led through some of the more salubrious parts. much more enjoyable trip.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:49, Reply)

That happened to a mate of mine several years ago.
It was his 30th birthday and his mum had been asking him what he'd like as a birthday gift, I can't remember what he asked for (probably something guitar related), but he made a specific request.

Imagine his surprise when, come the big day, his mum didn't get him something musical, but wrote in his birthday card that 'thanks to you, 30 kids in *insert name of loser country* will be having lunch for a week'.

What a birthday that was for him.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I'd love that.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:46, Reply)

You want lunch for 30 people?
That's just greedy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:46, Reply)

Pfft!

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:47, Reply)

wedding gift ideas
how about holiday vouchers?Failing that, a puppy or an air rifle......
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:40, Reply)

holiday vouchers are one of the things that we definitely do not want
I'd love a puppy but can't do it until one of us is at home most of the time.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:42, Reply)

just go to john lewis and play with the guns
have fun shooting wholly pointless things to see if anyone will actually buy them for you.

just make sure they keep the receipt.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:42, Reply)

I was in john lewis the other day
and most of the stuff is too ordinary in terms of style. they have the stainless le creuset stuff I want and the global knives and things, but for the most part we'd struggle to get things that are to our tastes.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I think I did my wedding list with Debenhams
As they operated some sort of scheme at the time where you were given 10% of the total spend back in vouchers and you could buy items that didn't get gifted to you, but were on your list, for a discounted price.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:46, Reply)

that's not bad
but I have the same problem there, particularly with our local debenhams. there just isn't enough stuff that I like. I'm really picky.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:47, Reply)

It would be worth taking a trip to a larger deparment store to make your selections
As 99% of people will be buying your gift online, it doesn't really matter where they are based in proximity to your chosen department store.

EDIT: Just had a look on the Debenhams website, if you set up your wedding list with them, they'll give you a £50.00 gift card (once £250 has been spend by your wedding guests), and then give you 10% off anything on your list that hasn't been bought.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:49, Reply)

that is very true
amazon do wedding lists which is quite good. means you can get stuff from loads of different places, but it is much easier to decide on what you want when it is all spread in front of you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:51, Reply)

i got la guiole brights for my cutlery
as i have pure white china and coloured wine glasses, but now it makes me reeeeally anal ensuring that the person with the purple cutlery also has the purple wine glass and the person with the yellow wine glass doesn't have the blue cutlery...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:48, Reply)

this cutlery is currently winning
www.davidmellordesign.com/acatalog/David_Mellor_City_Cutlery.html

it's expensive, but it's also hollow and perfectly balanced.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Curious
Not many people make the transition from politics to home design.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:52, Reply)

via Chelsea

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:54, Reply)

23£ for a knife?!?!!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Jesus Titty Fucking Christ!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:56, Reply)

Middle class lols.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:59, Reply)

I've had to argue with my parents
that I neither want nor need a special occasion silver cutlery set
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

I've seen more expensive believe me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:57, Reply)

BUT WHYYYYYYY
My set from IKEA are functional, easy care, aren't horrifically ugly and the whole set cost way less than that single knife.

-goes back to looking at Alexander McQueen dresses-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

because my parents have to buy me something
and they want it to be a set of cutlery for some reason. A big set of silver cutlery would cost more.

as said before, I'm really picky with things like that, and they are one of the few sets that I like, and they are precision engineered, which always sways me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:04, Reply)

I guess it's one of these things I'll understand when I get older :(

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:04, Reply)

I understand where you are coming from
hence the thread. There are a few things that I know I want, but as for the rest it's hard selecting ones that are gift-worthy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:07, Reply)

I'd take that as a condiment.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:11, Reply)

AsSALTs Jeff

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I wish art galleries did vouchers.
Buying pictures for someone is a dicey job.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I'd love to receive art
but there are only a handful of people I'd trust to know my tastes. Saw some amazing stuff in Greenwich the other day
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:44, Reply)

Much better to make the pictures for them

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:44, Reply)

It is but not everyone is capable.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:45, Reply)

You saw the Catface Ceilidhband pic
Nor am I.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Yes! This!!

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 17:18, Reply)

Where the fuck is Gonz?
I need him, and I need him NOW.

Before anyone says anything, it's for Coll3ctive purposes.

EDIT: Or can anyone use this bastarding Wordpress thing better than me?
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:47, Reply)

Go for vouchers
for Argos or somewhere. Then you can buy important things like Wii consoles for your wedding and cameras and suchlike
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:49, Reply)

I'd considered that
but I have a Wii and a camera already
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:50, Reply)

Or other "important" things

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Ask for Firebox vouchers
So you can buy one of these.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

sweet
I also need a rubber band gatling gun
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

So you can attach it to the front?
I like that plan.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:55, Reply)

Ha Argos, povo

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:51, Reply)

sometimes you need something that only somewhere like Argos sells

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

Like this?
tinyurl.com/5rozrmp
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:57, Reply)

ugh
that is unbelievably vulgar
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:57, Reply)

Imagine the size of the fists for the DAUGHTER one?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:59, Reply)

This one is EVEN BETTER
If that's possible.

tinyurl.com/5uxc49o
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:00, Reply)

This is awesome!
*buys 6 for all remaining fingers*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:00, Reply)

Cubic Zirconia
Classiest of all the diamond substitutes.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:03, Reply)

Says Milton Keynes boy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 12:53, Reply)

It is such a poverty stricken part of the uk.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:01, Reply)

It is rich in roundabouts and concrete cows
I will grant you that. Oh, and rape victims
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Average house price is over £200k
£300k for a dettached place, Average wage last year was £26,678 which is above the national average and is even in the top half of the south east.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:11, Reply)

If only I could pay more money for my house
it would be great! Those £26K wages should see my £300k mortgage off no problem
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:12, Reply)

What's that got to do with anything?
You just said Milton Keynes is poor, I said it wasn't with proof. Your response is "well it's too expensive innit" which is it? Is it too expensive or too poverty stricken, your train of thought has lost me.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

You derided Argos as being only for the poor
I retorted by insulting Milton Keynes, not calling it poor. Poor as in shit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:18, Reply)

Getting wedding vouchers from Argos is pretty povo.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:28, Reply)

Not at all
We bought a great digital camera and took it away on honeymoon
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Some friends of ours asked that everyone donate to their honeymoon fund instead of buying gifts
They set up a website where people could make donations and leave messages, then spunked it all on flights to America. Family will probably want to give you stuff that lasts but everyone else should be amenable.

The only problem is that it means anyone visiting the webiste can see how much each person has donated, and therefore how much they love you. If you're really lucky the first person will gift you an outlandish amount, and everyone else will think that's where the bar has been set. Or a bidding war will emerge.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:00, Reply)

as said before
I'd rather have stuff than honeymoon money.

We are definitely going to give a list of things to family, and then I'm thinking probably open up to vouchers or money to the rest. or art to those who can be trusted.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:02, Reply)

Fair play, my bad
I suggest you create a list at Ann Summers for her and a list at Game for you. Win-win.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:12, Reply)

her you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)

So let me get this straight, gettng married isn't just an opportunity to declare your love for the one closest to you in front of a room of people formerly closest to you
but it's also a good excuse to totally refit your kitchen and get loads of free crap? Hmmmm...
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:03, Reply)

You forgot the massive party, cakes and a guaranteed end away

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:05, Reply)

I do need a big stock pot and a nice food processor...

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:09, Reply)

Guaranteed? Really?
Surely on your wedding night you should be drunker than you've ever been in your life?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I didn't say it was my end guaranteed!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

My best man-friend was so pissed his new wife's friends had to help her out of her dress and put him to bed fully-dressed.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:17, Reply)

this is not going to happen
I fully intend to roger my mrs while she is wearing her dress
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

Good man
*shakes hands firmly*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:25, Reply)

Rude not to, really.

( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Don't forget the shitloads of family at the wedding, going out on the churps with all my cousins and aunties in ear-shot really doesn't appeal to me.
Oh, oh my, I've just realised, I've only been to family weddings.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:53, Reply)

that is correct
aside from the massive price tag, there are no drawbacks
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:07, Reply)

Damn, I forgot about the room rentals, £150-a-head meals and all that crap.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:11, Reply)

naa, fuck that
it doesn't need to be that expensive. The venues, and food and booze and all that gubbins are costing us about £5.5k for 80ish people I think.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:12, Reply)

This is about what we paid

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)

At the risk of sounding horribly materialistic about the happiest day of your life
I wouldn't mind getting an idea of total cost. One day I'm going to bloody well ask the missus to marry me and I'd very much like it if I didn't have to save up for two years after getting a yes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)

Ours cost around £8000
for about 50 people for the main do with food and 120 for the evening do
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:15, Reply)

ours is similar
with 80 people at the main do.

photographer is doing it for free which is nice. no cars or anything
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:15, Reply)

Photographer cost us nearly £2K!
He was the best one by a mile and was there from 10am until about 10pm
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

this is a friend of my bro's.
he is really very good.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Ours was from Morpeth
DG/Tourettes territory. I would recommend him to anyone!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:19, Reply)

Do the saving up before the asking.
I can recommend opening an account with the Cayman Island banking system. Those chaps are very helpful and unfailingly discreet.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I reckon I'll have plenty of time to do the saving
I'm getting quite fond of this offshore banking thing, I'll see if I can get my Nigerian contacts to transfer the money I'm promised straight to the Caymans
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:27, Reply)

Which is almost £80 per person.
You must really like your friends and family.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)

I imagine he's told them all that they're costing him £80 a head
so they know how much to spend on wedding gifts
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I wouldn't be so crass

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

No I didn't really think that was likely
Although it's not a bad idea, for anyone of diminished moral standing.

*remembers in case Monty pops the question to Lusty*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Things always have been so
and so they shall always be.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:09, Reply)

The party, the free stuff, the honeymoon and the wedding dance are the best bets I have of selling Ms Foxtrot on the idea one day

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:11, Reply)

Traditionally the wedding gifts are given as thank yous for being invited to the wedding and having a party put on for you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:56, Reply)

You're obviously like me in that you prefer to get the best engineered
example of whatever it is you need to buy.

Take a look around at the stuff you already have, that you've had to compromise on for whatever reason, find the top-notch equivalent and bang it on the list.

You don't have to put down entirely new stuff, you could replace the kit you already have that isn't quite up to scratch.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:13, Reply)

This is brilliant advice
and it makes me want to go through my kitchen and chuck stuff out
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:15, Reply)

already done
which is why I have some of a list already.

I'm looking at crockery at the moment. I have only the vaguest idea of what I want out of some crockery.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:17, Reply)

Where does your taste lie, modern or traditional?

( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:18, Reply)

generally modern but not over the top, odd for the sake of it stuff
I don't mind traditional aspects, or traditional things, if there is a sound purpose for them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:20, Reply)

We got Vera Wang crockery from JL, traditional modern if that makes sense...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:43, Reply)

you'll probably be using it for 20 years or more
don't get anything too wacky, you'll end up wishing you were greek just so that you could smash it all.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:53, Reply)

No one wants to be Greek: lolracism

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:08, Reply)

terrible news for Exeter!
www.thisisexeter.co.uk/news/Customers-concern-closed-M-S/article-3298886-detail/article.html

the comments from people within the article are ridiculous.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:14, Reply)

I continue to be amazed
at how much cool stuff we have since getting married.

It means I can spend my money on things like a new fence for the garden.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:15, Reply)

send me a copy of your wedding list so I can steal ideas

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:16, Reply)

I'm sure you have no requirement for a 15" black rubber cock.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:21, Reply)

I do not

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

1) Breadmaker
2) Bread bin to store bread made in the breadmaker
3) Fuck loads of crockery which we don't have room for in our house so it's stored in the loft for when we move to a bigger house.
4) Some big lamps
5) a load of vases, candlesticks, picture frames and decorative bowls. You know, girly shit.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:22, Reply)

crockery is on the list
once we've chosen some

candlesticks and stuff are a good idea. I need to decorate my gothic dining room.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:24, Reply)

Nice towels
we have these fantastic Pima Cotton massive bath sheets with matching hand towels. Very nice.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:31, Reply)

Some of the best presents we got were from close friends who went off list
Which previously was not somethig i approved of.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:42, Reply)

When we saw our friends' spare room chock full of their wish-list items,
me and my friend Mark decided we should get married.
We didn't get round to it, but it's worth a bit of sexless cohabitation to set yourself up for life in linen, furniture and kitchenware.

Also, if you do your wedding list at John Lewis or Debenham's are you allowed to put clothes on the list?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:26, Reply)

Massive slow cooker?
The coolest cutlery I've ever seen
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:27, Reply)

www.konstantinslawinski.com/en/index.html products - SL25
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:35, Reply)

that's awesome

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Do you have a croissant maker, beard trimmer, learn to play guitar DVD or some flared cords?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:39, Reply)

I have a beard trimmer and some flared cords
don't really need the others.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Weddings are boring..................................unless I'm invited, and then they're awesome.
I've been to a few varied weddings in my lifetime and thoroughly enjoyed every one.

I still can't see why you have to spend so much money on them. As a guest I'd be happy with a jam butty and a cup of tea.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:39, Reply)

As long as the food's nice I don't give a shite

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:42, Reply)

I think the thought that somebody actually wanted you to attend their wedding should suffice.
Anything else is a bonus.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:43, Reply)

FOOD
and a bit of crying
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:44, Reply)

As much as I go on about hating the idea of marriage etc, it is nice to be invited to a wedding and see two people madly in love.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:47, Reply)

Oh completely.
Makes me cry my eyes out. I loved seeing my mates so happy and giggly, and their parents saying nice things about them.
I knew them both before they got together, and it was something everyone could see was obvious, but it took them ages to get together, and then six years later there they were getting married.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Out of all my old mates there is only me and my bezzy mate in New Zealand who hasn't got married and had kids.
Although she is happily settled in a relationship.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I only know a few new-marrieds, but I'm sure they'll all be at it soon.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:57, Reply)

+ knowing 'they seem happy now, but it'll never last'

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:49, Reply)

Shurrup negative hole

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:51, Reply)

one of my best friends got married and we all got drunk
the other bff got insanely depressed because of her ex and stood outside draped over the car howling like a banshee
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Roota, I don't really like weddings, never been to one I've enjoyed.
I came up with an idea on the tube today, I'm friendly with a local posh-cafe owner, I'm going to bake him something different every week and ask him to put it in his cafe with a blackboard saying "Pauly Pop's Weekly Special: [whatever I'm making]". I don't really want any money, I might do something that says "Pay what you think it's worth, it's all going to [charity] anyway".

I really want to do this =D
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:57, Reply)

You!
I've been looking* for you! I need help with Wordpress because it's FUCKING STUPID.


*kind of. I was waiting for you to turn up on here or Facebook.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Aye up ! Send me a gaz with the details =)
I'm quite busy at work at the mo' so am back'n'forth.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Well as long as you can find another kitchen to make them in

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:01, Reply)

=/

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:05, Reply)

My mates' and Next Door's weddings were boss.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:03, Reply)

This
If I were to get married - which I won't - I'd rather have a massive piss up and feed everyone food I've cooked myself, before spending the money I would have spent on the wedding on travelling the world, and I could get married on a beach in the sunshine wearing a pair of jeans and a bikini top. I really don't see why you should have to spend thousands of pounds on just one day, mostly on other people.
But you know. That's just me.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:57, Reply)

^this
Apart from the bikini top.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Woo!
topless wedding!
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:01, Reply)

That's just how I roll.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Consider this
*INTERNET VALIDATION*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:06, Reply)

Woo!

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:07, Reply)

There is much, much more appeal
in spending a couple of months travelling and getting wed somewhere sandy and sunburnt, than there is in having just one day feeling uncomfortable in a very expensive, very nice dress that you can't even wear again.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Plus I hate being the centre of attention.
Despite my obvious internet attention seeking.
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Ugh I hadn't considered that aspect of it
it'd be a bit like having to give a presentation, all those staring eyes. I hate that.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Unless, you know, it's not uncomfortable
you feel fabulous, everyone treats you like the most important person in the world, all your best friends and family are there, you're in a fantastic place that you normally couldn't afford, eating lovely food and drinking nice wine then everyone has a great big party and dances around to celebrate the fact that you and your partner are totally in love and are going to spend the rest of your lives together.

But yeah, you're totally right.

Single, lonely, but totally right.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:10, Reply)

this coming from the man who thinks that a cool way to spend money is on stuff for the house
and a fence for the garden.

if this is what marriage does to you, i'll amputate my wedding ring finger right here, right now with this de-stapler.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:13, Reply)

there isn't much better than spending money on things that make your life better
every day.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:15, Reply)

yes
but if i ever get to the stage where i think that a fence for the garden is that something that makes my life better - or more better than lovely presents for the other half/family/friends, going out to hot bars and delicious restaurants, fancy haircuts, new clothes, shiny cars, even sponsoring a goat to go to school in africa - it will be time to reserve my zimmer frame at the old giffers home!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:18, Reply)

That's because you don't have a garden
but I do, and I like being in it, and unfortunately when you have a garden and it contains a fence you're duty bound to look after said fence when it rots and starts to fall down.

So that's what I'm going to do, I'm also going to redecorate my spare room so when I go in there I can go "Awwww, what a nice spare room, I will enjoy my time in here, and am happy in the knowledge that the work I did here added value to my house rather than me quite literally pissing that money down the drain in some cunt filled bar".

But since I also occasionally spend time pissing money down the drain in cunt filled bars I don't really see the problem here.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:35, Reply)

How odd
I just watched a video of a guy pissing in a cunt. Money was probably exchanged afterwards.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:42, Reply)

which bit of you was he pissing in?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)

The space where my soul once resided.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:48, Reply)

sensible
watertight and fairly high capacity
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:49, Reply)

I can feel it sloshing around
Like a golden washing machine.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:50, Reply)

have you seen the video of a guy throwing a brick in a washing machine?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Yes

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:56, Reply)

I'm going to do that to you

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:02, Reply)

I'm imagining a kind of chin waterfall.

( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Having been in a situation where I had nowt I disagree.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I mean there is little better to do with your money
not that there is little you can do that is better, in an absolute way
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:41, Reply)

To each their own, Al
I'm not saying you - or anyone else - shouldn't have gotten married, and I'm glad you had a lovely day but it's not something I have any interest in doing. Or if by some amazing chance I do ever meet someone who changes my mind, I imagine I would still have no interest in getting married in a 'traditional' way.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:15, Reply)

You can say 'Jeff shouldn't have got married' if you like, and you'd be right.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:21, Reply)

*there there*
You weren't to know at the time, I'm sure.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:23, Reply)

He just wanted to be loved.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:27, Reply)

I still do Blousie.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Awwwwww!
*sadface*
( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:31, Reply)

There's only so many times I can *there there* you inside of half an hour, Jeff.

(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:31, Reply)

I like the cut of yer jib, Al.
It's just a nice party with you and your loved ones and it doesn't have to be massive, but being served nice food is nice because that's what I do whenever I have some spare money.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:17, Reply)

my friend did the biggest white wedding i've ever seen when she got married
new years eve, marquee, fireworks, champagne like water, the lot. they split up after 3 months.

when she got married again, they had nobody there, but then had a massive party for everybody.

both were pretty special!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:19, Reply)

3 months?
That really isn't very long at all.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:22, Reply)

i'm veering towards the 'party afterwards' thing.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:15, Reply)

you won't have time to cook if you're getting married though will you

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Wedding BBQ!
EDIT:

Topless wedding BBQ!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:02, Reply)

careful!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Yeah, hot fat onto tits will hurt

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Won't worry berk then
she's always banging on about not having any tits, despite the photographic evidence to the contrary
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:07, Reply)

Push-up bras are marvellous things...

(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:09, Reply)

I'm sure I could
unless I marry someone wildly popular I can't imagine I'd be catering for hundreds of people.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:05, Reply)

You could use the same caterers as these folk.
www.thisisbristol.co.uk/news/8203-Kentucky-Bride-Chicken/article-3219769-detail/article.html
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:07, Reply)

That's fucking rank
I'm deeply offended that you think I could be so cheap.
No more cake for you, mister.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:09, Reply)

*Sad face*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:18, Reply)

I'm pretty low maintenance
but KFC? KFC? Just no, Jeff.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:24, Reply)

hahaha KFC is Lab's favourite. He cried when the first service station we stopped at only had burger king

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:39, Reply)

So did you!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:40, Reply)

KFC is disgusting.
Chicken is not very nice. Bleugh.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Can I hire you to follow me around whenever I'm drunk
and tell me this over and over again, especially when I start looking at fried chicken places with longing in my eyes.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:32, Reply)

Fried chicken is the least of your drunken worries
it's when you're so pissed that a kebab seems like a good idea that should give you concern. Ugh. Never trust meat you can shave.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:33, Reply)

I'll steer you towards the pizza place instead and make you buy me a huge one ;)

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Get donations to a travel fund, then you can travel the world surfing for a couple of months
whilst the misses gets your caravan ready.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 13:41, Reply)

Airfix kits or a strap-on

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Or, even better, an airfix strap-on
"I will consummate our marriage, darling, but I'm going to need a couple of hours and a small tube of superglue first"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:18, Reply)

You'd have to be reeeeeally careful to make sure you trimmed all the bits of sprue off properly first though
otherwise there'd be potential for some seriously uncomfortable chafeage.
(berk, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:32, Reply)

This is the sort of attention to detail that will be required to exploit the Airfix sex toys market

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:45, Reply)

Also, you really don't want to be using superglue.
Poly cement will be uncomfortable, but won't stick flesh together. Superglue will.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:47, Reply)

Ah, what's the worst that could happen?
Seriously, let's speculate. This is fun.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Human centipede

( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:54, Reply)

Only in the event of a daisy chain

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:58, Reply)

OK, well human centaur, then.
Only with six legs and both torsos inverted.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:01, Reply)

Hahahaha
That is the best mental image ever conjured in the history of B3ta
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 15:03, Reply)

You'll get what you're given and be bloody grateful for it.

(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Yes, master
*drops pantaloons*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:18, Reply)

oh darth

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Don't pretend you don't own pantaloons

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:23, Reply)

I had a pair of green corderoy knickerbockers when I was around 13.

( girlinthehole, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Whenever I hear "knickerbocker" I think of ice cream

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Simple.
John Lewis vouchers (or vouchers for whomever your list is with - JL is the best option simply because of the vast range of stuff it carries).

We put some really nice pieces of furniture on our list - not expecting anyone to buy them, but so that if we were got vouchers (they're automatically given as an option for people looking at your list) it would be obvious what the vouchers were going towards. I'm fairly sure the vouchers last for quite a long time, so you could potentially set them aside for future need, such as a new washing machine/fridge/whatever.

I have to say that asking for money (whether towards honeymoon, home improvements or to "go towards the cost of the wedding" [and yes, I have seen that on a wedding invite/gift list thing before]) is unspeakably tacky, and should be avoided.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Mon 7 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)