I lost it to a deaf bloke who was major hot, but after going at it for a bit decided to bend me over and put it in my arse
after panicking and shouting NO NO NO NO for a minute I realised he couldn't hear me so I waved my arms frantically and he was all "are you okay" and so I shake my head yes and he continues, figured by that point it was just best to let him finish as quickly as possible.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:37, 5 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That's the most pragmatic thing I have ever heard.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)

it wasn't as traumatic as the first time giving head

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Do tell.
Was he blind?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:48, Reply)

hahahaha
no
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Well I'm not surprised, what with his tool being covered in clag-nuts. That must have been awful.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)

gross!

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)

THIS is POTD.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

I hope you are mildly offended by my comment.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Just mildly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)

how often do you actually call POTD?
is it 12 times a day?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Maximum of three.
Jeff's infinitely more profligate than I am.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:07, Reply)

PLUS
I fucking invented it so I can do what I pissing well like.

*flicks the v's*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)

*Makes note, if I want my brown-wings, pretend to be deaf, and ignore the albatross impressions*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

or enjoy living out your epilepsy fantasies.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)

See Vipros, all American women love anal!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

I have a confession to make.
I wasn't really deaf.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)

POTD

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)

he's got an even bigger confession
he's not really Belgian
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

hahahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Bravo!! More!!!
*throws flowers*

Fucking superb
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)

An even biggerer confession
He never cared if she was okay.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)

You should have lost it to a blind guy
at worst you would have been dogged
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

The danger there though CD, is if the lady in question has cellulite.
A blind person might mistake it for a really-good book or something.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)

I was making a guide dog joke
well...attempting one
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Never mind, old boy. There's always tomorrow!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)

*Sings "Littlest Hobo" theme tune*

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:01, Reply)

hahaha
We've hit a rich seam of unsuitable material here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Who'd have thought it, laughing at those with disabilities CAN BE FUN!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)

dont talk behind your hand tho
They hate that
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)

They love it
when you talk really loudly and slowly to them though. And use extra-easy words
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)

I get that
i'm from somerset and people treat me accordingly
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)

I didn't know
a narrow gene pool was a disability.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Because oi talk loik a faaarmer, people think oim slow
I don't really talk like a farmer
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:17, Reply)

No wonder
you're actually a farm-hand
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)

I'm not a pheasant plucker
I'm a pheasant pluckers son
I'm only plucking pheasants
'till the pheasant plucker comes

(say that quickly while drunk for HILARIOUS results*)


*results may not be hilarious, they may be mildly amusing at best
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:24, Reply)

Not even that. Sorry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:26, Reply)

Why you gotta bust balls?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:27, Reply)

I beg your pardon, old boy?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Just trying out some gangsta vocab
fo shizzle
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:33, Reply)

And how is that working out for you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Not great Monty
i'd better chickety-check myself before I rickety-reck myself
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:39, Reply)

bust +suck
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:36, Reply)

I think I can see the cunning trap within the lyrics
that leads to the hilarious consequences. Subtle, though it is.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Ah, I see you've played "pheasant plucker" before
*nods*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:28, Reply)

I have not
I have played a game from the same stable, though. You might not get it out in the Rural. It's called Fuzzy Duck.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:38, Reply)