B3tans! I need your help
You're all older than me, and therefore were alive back in the good old days of the eighties, before such wonders of modern technology as good fashion sense and decent music.
My friend has just been playing "Running" by the shit band Chase & Status, but I'm positive that the beginning of it is sampled from an eighties track I've heard my mum listening to.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smm93h254OY

Please stop me from going mental. I thought it might be the Eurythmics, but I don't know what song.

Alt for those of you who can't youtube at work:
Tell me about your first kiss. Or how you lost your virginity, if it's funnier.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:22, 135 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My 15" black rubber cock.
Edit: actually: www.b3ta.com/questions/publicsex/post409129
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:26, Reply)

I'm assuming this is an answer
to the virginity question
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)

There's only one question.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)

I'm unsure as to which part of my post this is answering
It works for all of them.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:27, Reply)

It sounds a bit like like
www.youtube.com/watch?v=MHHv4u8Vomw

But it isn't.

Monty or Blousie might know.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)

No sound at work but will try to remember to look at this later
when I get in pissed after dinner...it's not going to happen, is it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Nope.
I don't suppose it will.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

It does sound familiar
not sure though sorry.
My first kiss was entirely unmemorable. I think I just wanted to get it done to be honest.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:28, Reply)

No idea on the sample, sorry

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:29, Reply)

Can't remember my first kiss at all.
Counter to traditional wisdom when I lost my virginity it was pretty nice. I was 15 I think.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:29, Reply)

It samples James Ingram's "Yah Mo Be There"
...which was shit.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgSAOLX2640
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

God it really was.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Gah beaten to it, just.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

He was a kind of Kwik-Save Billy Ocean, if such a thing could actually exist.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Kwik Save Billy Ocean?
Get outta my dreams, and onto my bus.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:31, Reply)

It's a nice for a
gyppo weddiiiiiing
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:43, Reply)

Lidl Vandross.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Thank you!
Man, this really wasn't worth it. I hate that song.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:32, Reply)

The C&S one is ok I guess, apart from the shit sample beginning bit

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:33, Reply)

I can't stand chase and status either.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)

Not heard much, but I'm not that impressed if I'm honest
I don't mind dubstep if the bass is loud and filthy, whereas the C&S I've heard seems rather void of balls.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

It all sounds the same.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:36, Reply)

I won't bother searching more out then

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)

You're doing yourself a favour.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Shit band samples shit song to make shit track...
The cycle continues.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

That's called 'Diddy/Police Syndrome'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Is that about Ken Dodd being arrested?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)

No.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

Puff.
Edit - how did you get on with that Guess Who Live?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)

When I went to extract the songs
I got a password request, so 'nowehere' unfortunately.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Will get back to you later...
*irons cape*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Vicious circle.
However, even if they had sampled a good song, the good song would then be shit by association with the shit band.
The only answer is for the shit band to stop making music.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)

But then the ringtone industry would collapse overnight

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:38, Reply)

GOOD.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:42, Reply)

Amen to that

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:42, Reply)

I've recorded all my ringtones off my computer.
Thus my text tone is "MONOCLE SMILE"
My ringtone is Keep Hope Alive by the Crystal Method and my alarm is Manic Depression by Emilie Autumn.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)

My phone's on silent almost always
But when needed it's an excerpt from NIN - Just like you imagined.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:48, Reply)

I expected nothing less.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Likewise with the Emilie Autumn.

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

Mine is Carry on my Wayward Son
it compelled some unknown people to ask me to sit down and have a drink with them last night
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

I like this.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)

'shit band sample great song and thus ruin it' is a worst-case scenario.
Or 'bent TV ad uses great song so you can't play it out ever again' which I have had with Don Farden's 'I'm Alive'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:42, Reply)

And don't you think that 'Lust for Life' has lost some sparkle...
...since it was used to flog cruises?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)

'Trainspotting' had already consigned it to the 'avoid' bin for me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:48, Reply)

True story.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:45, Reply)

Also
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgSAOLX2640
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

Here you go
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yah_Mo_B_There

EDIT: Mindpiss!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:30, Reply)

I lost my virginity to a Belgian prostitute on a school trip to visit WW1 battle fields when I was 15

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:32, Reply)

Those aren't the words you idiot.
It's *something something something* starship trooper.

Durr.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)

...in San Francisco.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:34, Reply)

What words? Those are some words...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:35, Reply)

I thought that was some hot-gossip from NakedApe.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:36, Reply)

Hahah this joke has got legs (and co)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:38, Reply)

It'll get pan(s)(ned) by people

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)

Fucker - I was working on that gag but got nowhere.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:41, Reply)

The words "Belgian" and "prostitute"
should never appear in one's life story.

Out of interest, how much?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)

Did he treat you right?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)

I lost it to a deaf bloke who was major hot, but after going at it for a bit decided to bend me over and put it in my arse
after panicking and shouting NO NO NO NO for a minute I realised he couldn't hear me so I waved my arms frantically and he was all "are you okay" and so I shake my head yes and he continues, figured by that point it was just best to let him finish as quickly as possible.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:37, Reply)

That's the most pragmatic thing I have ever heard.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:39, Reply)

it wasn't as traumatic as the first time giving head

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)

Do tell.
Was he blind?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:48, Reply)

hahahaha
no
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)

Well I'm not surprised, what with his tool being covered in clag-nuts. That must have been awful.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)

gross!

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:49, Reply)

THIS is POTD.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:50, Reply)

I hope you are mildly offended by my comment.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

Just mildly.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)

how often do you actually call POTD?
is it 12 times a day?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)

Maximum of three.
Jeff's infinitely more profligate than I am.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:07, Reply)

PLUS
I fucking invented it so I can do what I pissing well like.

*flicks the v's*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)

*Makes note, if I want my brown-wings, pretend to be deaf, and ignore the albatross impressions*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

or enjoy living out your epilepsy fantasies.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:44, Reply)

See Vipros, all American women love anal!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:40, Reply)

I have a confession to make.
I wasn't really deaf.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:46, Reply)

POTD

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:47, Reply)

he's got an even bigger confession
he's not really Belgian
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

hahahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)

Bravo!! More!!!
*throws flowers*

Fucking superb
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:52, Reply)

An even biggerer confession
He never cared if she was okay.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:53, Reply)

You should have lost it to a blind guy
at worst you would have been dogged
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:51, Reply)

The danger there though CD, is if the lady in question has cellulite.
A blind person might mistake it for a really-good book or something.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:54, Reply)

I was making a guide dog joke
well...attempting one
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Never mind, old boy. There's always tomorrow!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:59, Reply)

*Sings "Littlest Hobo" theme tune*

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:01, Reply)

hahaha
We've hit a rich seam of unsuitable material here.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:56, Reply)

Who'd have thought it, laughing at those with disabilities CAN BE FUN!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:58, Reply)

dont talk behind your hand tho
They hate that
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:08, Reply)

They love it
when you talk really loudly and slowly to them though. And use extra-easy words
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:10, Reply)

I get that
i'm from somerset and people treat me accordingly
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:13, Reply)

I didn't know
a narrow gene pool was a disability.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:15, Reply)

Because oi talk loik a faaarmer, people think oim slow
I don't really talk like a farmer
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:17, Reply)

No wonder
you're actually a farm-hand
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:19, Reply)

I'm not a pheasant plucker
I'm a pheasant pluckers son
I'm only plucking pheasants
'till the pheasant plucker comes

(say that quickly while drunk for HILARIOUS results*)


*results may not be hilarious, they may be mildly amusing at best
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:24, Reply)

Not even that. Sorry.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:26, Reply)

Why you gotta bust balls?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:27, Reply)

I beg your pardon, old boy?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Just trying out some gangsta vocab
fo shizzle
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:33, Reply)

And how is that working out for you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Not great Monty
i'd better chickety-check myself before I rickety-reck myself
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:39, Reply)

bust +suck
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:36, Reply)

I think I can see the cunning trap within the lyrics
that leads to the hilarious consequences. Subtle, though it is.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:27, Reply)

Ah, I see you've played "pheasant plucker" before
*nods*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:28, Reply)

I have not
I have played a game from the same stable, though. You might not get it out in the Rural. It's called Fuzzy Duck.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:38, Reply)

I was 11, so was she
We were at a Quasar in Wigan, I'd been 'going out' with her for a few days. Her best mate came over to me and said 'Laura wants to meet you'.

I was thoroughly confused at this, and pointed out I already knew you. After a couple of minutes, it turned out she meant she fancied a snog. I won't lie, I was nervous as hell when I first kissed her, but it was pretty ace. I don't think she was impressed with me shooting her, laughing, and running off after we'd finished though...
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:55, Reply)

'....then we all went round Neil Buchanan's for tea by which I mean my evening meal
because I am an ee-up-me-duck George Formby northern helmcheese with an outdoor lavvy and hot and cold running Hovis'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 16:57, Reply)

Not bad, but you've made a couple of mistakes
If I have a choice, it's Warburtons every time, and Neil was on tour at the time...

Also, if your Hovis runs, you should really eat it before it gets that mouldy.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:00, Reply)

Don't lie*, you just dip it in dripping, deep fry it for an hour
then add it to your breakfast munchy box.

*oops
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Don't what?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:09, Reply)

Step on my blue suede shoes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:15, Reply)

You are Paul Shane/Ted Bovis and his dreadful rendition of this on Pebble Mill (at one).
Sorry - it was 'You've lost that loving feeling' that he murdered.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJvGdOC6D1Y
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:17, Reply)

A classic clip.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:20, Reply)

It really is dreadful.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:23, Reply)

It must be a Northern thing
AA is the same age as me and yet there are no identifiable points of contact between my childhood and his. For a start all my siblings are real.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:02, Reply)

As are mine
I just like to keep Monty happy, I hear he soils himself when people disagree with him
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:04, Reply)

'Course they are.
*pats head*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:06, Reply)

His siblings were real
But all met tragic ends at' early age downt' mines.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:20, Reply)

I lost my virginity in a seedy roadside motel,
this is something of which I am very proud.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:24, Reply)

Not to a deaf Belgian, though.

( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:25, Reply)

Losing of v-plates...Back of a car.
I thought it was a girl, but it turned out to be the back of a car
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Hahahah that's much more like it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:31, Reply)

Colonel Dracula, earlier:

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:35, Reply)

Range Rover? That's just sick
with its dirty mucky FILTHY wheel arches...back in a min...
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:37, Reply)

There is a 'mud-flaps' joke in there as well if you look for it.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:38, Reply)

*Checks the old jokes home*
An Irishman is sent to London to blow up a Princess..... He burns his lips on the exhaust pipe.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:37, Reply)

Fucking hell Jeff
how many of these kids are even going to know what a Princess is, in this context?
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Surely everyone has watched Terry and June?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Di was fond of a curry

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:40, Reply)

So her falling into a Korma before she died would have been 'what she wanted'?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:42, Reply)

Somehow, and I don't know how you've managed it,
you've come up with a mental image funnier than Jeff's joke.
( Kroney, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:43, Reply)

My dad had a Princess
it was shit
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:41, Reply)

Were you with Joseph and Emily?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Lablolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:41, Reply)

I'm bad with eye contact.
Used this to my advantage. Put off kissing him, he commented on my lack of eye contatct, I looked him in the eyes and we kissed.

This was in Piccadilly Gardens.

Losing my virginity, however, is quite boring. It was in a hotel room and it was the right person.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:42, Reply)

felt paid

(Sorry, obvious strikethrough is obvious)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:44, Reply)

Edit ;)
I'm not good with words today.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Wed 9 Mar 2011, 17:44, Reply)