Took my littleun to the Sealife Centre yesterday, with my sister.
Then we went back to my house for lunch, watched a film and played with my talking Yoda toy (not a euphemism, and a long story as to why I have one). It was simply brilliant - I actually felt like a real dad, and a very proud one too. I know everyone believes their children to be some kind of fucking genius but mine really is remarkably advanced for her age with regards to language. Far more important than that she's a happy little thing.

I am just so chuffed to be her father, I really am.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:40, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

This won't help my manliness rating
but am properly made up for you, y'soppy sack of shite :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:42, Reply)

If I had a talking yoda toy i'd only want it to say one thing...
"There.....is........another........sky.........walk...errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr."
( Peej, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:44, Reply)

Awww.
Shucks.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:46, Reply)

I have a little chair at my house
that belonged to my grandmother when she was little, it's been via my mother and sister to me, and I was able to get some pictures of my child in this chair which will mean a very great deal to my mother. Maybe now the sordid old lezza* will get off my fucking case.

*I get extra cunt points here because she lent me ten grand last week.

*GLESS*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:49, Reply)

Pffft.
Immediate financial ruin and being hounded out of London by baying bailiffs averted then?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:53, Reply)

Embarrassingly
it's not enough to get me out of trouble. It's merely a stay of execution. I have some half-baked ideas as to how I can make some money with the lump sum (legitimately) but as with all such schemes there is risk involved and I don't feel comfoprtable taking risks at the best of times.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:55, Reply)

Surely a small injection of cash to each of your creditors will buy you extra time?
Especially if you can provide them with an illustration of how you're going to get the rest to them and in what timescale. These people may be blood-sucking scum but they want their money and they won't get it if you go bankrupt.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:57, Reply)

I've stashed the lump sum in a 'spare' account
If I use some of it to live on, my salary covers most of my repayments. I'm not actually behind with anything bar my service charge.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:13, Reply)

When you say 'spare' account...
...do you mean Switzerland? With the rest of your people's gold

Edit: Apologies for dropping my previous concern and genuine interest in favour of cheapnazilols
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:15, Reply)

I'm intrigued.
But yes, risk. I don't really risk at all. I'm trying to be a little more daring in life generally, feel the fear and do it anyway etc.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 8:57, Reply)

don't invest in Japanese nuclear power.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:04, Reply)

Nonsense
There seems to be quite a shortage in the market at the moment
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:11, Reply)

I heard their shares are riding the wave at the moment.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Did you realise that "Godzilla" was trending on Twitter a few hours after the earthquake?
The internet is replete with insensitive, callous bastards with absolutely no moral standing.

*looks around*

Oh
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:14, Reply)

I'm quite sensitive.
The rest is me though.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:16, Reply)

yeah that's ridiculous
everyone knows Mothra was responsible for this one, she flapped her wings in New York...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Very good
*click*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Seconded

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:29, Reply)

haha!
Have you just realised?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:17, Reply)

Hell no
*insert "That's the joke" here please*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:30, Reply)

That's the joke tramp's cock
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)

Oh, go on then, you've earnt it
8/10. *click*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:37, Reply)

Woop!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Gonz posted this which I think is even worse.
img862.imageshack.us/img862/4803/66690720.jpg
(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Fucking hell I thought I was bad.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

You are

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:25, Reply)

"If you had bought a Ford instead of a Toyota your gas pedal would'nt be stuck!
Does'nt take but about half a decade to forget they blew up Pearl Harbor. Rock on AMERICA!!!!!!"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Fuck. Me.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:26, Reply)

Saw that over the weekend, fucking disgraceful
I can't believe they would blame Japan for the atrocity that was Pearl Harbour, when clearly it was entirely Michael Bay's fault.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:30, Reply)

*head in hands*
I sometimes wonder why I defend the majority of my countrymen :(
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:32, Reply)

They're not a majority.
Some of then have probably shut up now the death toll is rising.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:34, Reply)

What astounds me is the suggestion that this is "payback" for Pearl Harbour
I'd have thought the absolute destruction of Nagasaki and Hiroshima was more appropriate
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:38, Reply)

Well, when we have asshole nationally known TV preachers like Pat Robertson
blaming the earthquake in Haiti on a deal with the devil reportedly made by the slaves who revoted against France and won their freedom, or the hurricane in New Orleans as god's vengence on the wicked people in that city, and people in the US actually aggree with him and believe him, I don't get surprised at anything people say anymore. We are rapidly become the world's joke but sadly a joke with weapons and the willingness to use them stupidly.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 11:27, Reply)

I meant in general;
I hate it when people call Americans stupid and fat. I know that a few are bound to be stupid.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:45, Reply)

I second the horrified sentiments iterated above by my esteemed fellow B3tans
Does no-one in America have any concept of grammar? "Japanizes", indeed.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:33, Reply)

There's a hilariously inappropriate ad in the Metro this morning
with a miserable looking Pokemon up to its chest in water. I thought this was very amusing, being a heartless cunt and all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:16, Reply)

I was thinking that the Japanese could re-establish Unit 731 to help.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

Suggestion.
Surely it would be better to use that ten-grand to reduce your debts, and then live off your salary?

Does it not make sense to clear the debts that are costing you the most to service first?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:18, Reply)

THIS^
IN CAPITAL LETTERS
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:19, Reply)

Not if I end up having to get an IVA anyway.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:20, Reply)

This is no time for pints of bitter.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

There is always time for a pint

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:23, Reply)

Heaux heaux

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

No Jeff
it makes more sense to squander the money on massive drugs and meat. Oh and gifts for Schteve
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:21, Reply)

And waste the rest?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:22, Reply)

anal bleaching

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:23, Reply)

You have to look your best
A musky anus just does not cut it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:24, Reply)

Depends how hard you squeeze.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:35, Reply)

POTD

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:36, Reply)

That's revolting.
Well done.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:37, Reply)

ouch

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 Mar 2011, 9:39, Reply)