hope you can aid me
we need to move house rapidly due to BAD neighbours. Any sneaky and/or useful tricks for doing it? We'd prefer a private landlord if at all possible, as estate agents charge insane amounts for admin and credit checks. If anyone has some hacks for this kind of thing it's you lot of naughty geniuses.
I did try yahoo answers but i have tried reading the local papers and using the internet believe it or not :)

Alt Q? um. favourite jelly flavour?

EDIT: i'm after ways to find housing really, defeating the neighbours is done with. we just need to get out of the house and find somewhere else
(DreddPirateBob has watched every scifi film ever on, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 1:14, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Just how bad are the neighbours?
And do you own / rent / social housing tenant? I am a former housing officer and may have a few legal ideas......

ALT: Blackcurrant. and I really want some now as my tonsils are the size of footballs.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 1:29, Reply)

oh bad enough for us to be getting the hell out
we have already followed official channels but the threats of revenge are whats making us leave.

edit: and bad tonsils :( i prescribe jelly and icecream 15 times a day!
(DreddPirateBob has watched every scifi film ever on, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:18, Reply)

Pretend to be a police contractor, then break in, beat the men to an inch of their lives with baseball bats, torture and kill all their children and forcibly impregnate their women.
Because these acts weren't done by the actual police force, they can abrogate all responsibility and pin the blame entirely on the fictional company in a Pacific tax haven you set up before engaging on this bloody endeavour. It may be worth setting up an 090X number for customer complaints that goes to a dead line, too.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 1:37, Reply)

I approve of this -
although I also suggest eating their children once you have killed them. It worked for me!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 8:29, Reply)

You live next door to Big Audio Dynamite?
That must be awful - that Mick Jones is a right fucking cunt.

Alt: Any of the benzodiazepines: I'm not fussed.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 8:26, Reply)

Start a new thread Monty,
your wit is wasted here.

Morning, by the way. Any word from the harridan?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 8:40, Reply)

oh its not wasted
i laughed :D
(DreddPirateBob has watched every scifi film ever on, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Wage a war of terror
On them and get them to move. The American way!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 8:40, Reply)

*something about Afghanistan still being full of Afghans*
Sorry
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 8:40, Reply)

I hope when I own a house/flat my neighbours are lovely people (obviously).
Mainly because I'm the most stubborn person in the world, if my neighbours were cunts my mindset would be "no way are those twats going to make me move, I'm staying put". I'd rather endure hell than admit defeat and go elsewhere.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 8:42, Reply)

The gadaffi way.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 6 Apr 2011, 8:46, Reply)