Me too. Fucking hopeless.
When I was a boy we had maintenance people who did all DIY stuff for us so I never learnt a fucking thing from my father. So it's his fault.

My brother is superb. Ten years as a squatter does that to a man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 9:53, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I am improving over the years at DIY stuff
I am fucking brilliant at improvising fixes though. I built a bookshelf using only a garlic press once
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 9:55, Reply)

Course you did, old boy.

Course you did.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 9:56, Reply)

'tis true!
My finest DIY moment. Bought a fucking Ikea jobbie and went back to my flat only to find I had no hammer and the shops were shut
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 9:57, Reply)

Did I ever tell you about the time Sean Connery helped me with my DIY?
He was fucking rubbish at it. He looked at the wonky wall mounts he'd put together and said "I am ashamed of myshelf".
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:01, Reply)

And sho you should be.

( Kroney, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:01, Reply)

Should, certainly
Not though. I love that joke, cheap and crap as I am aware it is
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:03, Reply)

it is I am.

Morning, Nemesis. How's you?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Cheap and crap
Congratulations darling, you've hammered my nail on its head. I'm just going to give you a minute to savour that mental image.

And your good self?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:16, Reply)

Please find enclosed your first LTI

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:03, Reply)

Bless you, work firewall
I have no idea what that is
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:03, Reply)

An angry baby with a LTI caption

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Can't see it; doesn't count

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:24, Reply)

( Peej, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:05, Reply)

Hahaha!
The puns buuuuuuuurrrrrn
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:09, Reply)

Was that back when you were an RAF doctor?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:04, Reply)

Yeah
Just before I went to the ballet or some such fantasy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:06, Reply)

This is fairly similar to the reason I can't cook
Not living at home, I didn't have my mummy to teach me. And my school was a high-falutin' grammar school that didn't go in for that domestic skills shite.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Apr 2011, 10:09, Reply)