I find it strange America still has $1 bills,
they've been trying to get rid of them for years but the public like them.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:55, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I once got pissed up in New York and accidentally tipped a barman $100.
The lovely fellow alerted me to my error so I gave him $50 of it for his honesty.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 13:58, Reply)

I could really do with that $50 now, if I'm honest.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:00, Reply)

twat.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:01, Reply)

It was about 15 years ago.
I had no mortgage and no child.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:02, Reply)

And no financial nous.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:03, Reply)

and no sense apparently

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Or 'nous', you might say.

As I just have.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:05, Reply)

clearly I might not say that

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:07, Reply)

I'd rather have financial acumen than a prodigous vocabulary.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

why not tutor for cash?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Because I'm a convicted nonce.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:19, Reply)

and bowel control

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:04, Reply)

that's what, 11p?

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:01, Reply)

£29.99 at today's exchange rate.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:04, Reply)

well yeah
because a soda from a machine cost $1.50, if you had only a five or a ten, you'd get all quarters back

If we didn't have dollars I'd have to save for MONTHS to go to the strip club
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:00, Reply)

you can't use notes with most of our machines
so that isn't an issue
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Just stuff quaters in their bras

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:05, Reply)

I think this is the best solution.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:06, Reply)

they don't wear bras
at least, not for long
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:08, Reply)

Not when you get involved.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:09, Reply)

god do we have to think of everything?
stuff them up their cunts
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:09, Reply)

you're not allowed to touch the strippers
gawd, what sort of tawdry places do you have over there?!
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:12, Reply)

Well, if you came to visit us, you would totally find out
we'd take you to the Flying Scotsman, near Kings Cross.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

is that a pirate bar?
I'll start a jar that says "Trip to UK" and ask for donations wherever I go.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:15, Reply)

I have never been to a strip club
although I do know you aren't allowed to touch them.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:15, Reply)

*gobsmacked*

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:16, Reply)

why?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:17, Reply)

She can't believe someone with hair as daft as yours
could possibly have seen a naked woman if it wasn't in a strip club.

I went to a strip club in Budapest. It was fairly depressing, me and my friend just wanted beers, but apparently the strippers object to being treated as waitresses.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:18, Reply)

that makes sense
I've never been in a position to go to one. Always had better things to spend my money on.

and knowing a few girls who have worked at strip clubs, I prefer my women less vacuous, less bony, and looking less like they've been hatchetted around the face.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I suspect I'll end up in one again weekend after next
as I'm going to Munich on a stag do.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:23, Reply)

make sure you bring your blindfold.

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Yeah, they won't strip for me if they can see me
I'm too repellant.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:32, Reply)

haha shut up

( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:33, Reply)

They are horrible places.
I've been forced to attend a few for social and MD acquisition purposes.

The people being exploited are primarily the retarded men who go to them. They don't fancy you, you know. They're pretending not to despise and pity you in exchange for money. And no, you can't shag them (apart from the ones in the Rainbow Sports Bar in Shoreditch).

The very definition of 'tawdry'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:23, Reply)

The other bad thing about this one in Budapest
was that there was one girl who was clearly only about 15, she wasn't getting naked on the stage, but she was wearing the usual slutty clothes and I reckon she was there to attract a certain type of Bert customer.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:25, Reply)

That's horrible.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Have you got the address?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:26, Reply)

sometimes the men are really fucking gross, and a lot of times the girls won't even look at you if you're a girl
but there are some girls that like to have fun and make it fun for you, maybe they're pretending, I don't care because it's fun.

But there are ones that hate being there and find it disgusting, and if that's the case, get a different job.
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Now that is not very hygenic, is it.
Wear gloves Vippers.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:13, Reply)

readymade slot machine

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:09, Reply)

that's a bit of a harsh thing to call her

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:10, Reply)

description of function

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 28 Apr 2011, 14:11, Reply)