I'm partial to Attack Cheese myself - anything with chillis in it, basically
Otherwise, Cantale, which I'm not sure is even available over here but luckily the in-laws have French family. Speaking of which, when I was last in France I found myself perplexed by the lack of French Cheddar. Sometimes I wonder how walking in a straight line comes so naturally to me.

Alt: I need someone to carry out a series of assassinations on Swansea-based footballers. You are free to use any methods you see fit, including disintegrations.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 11:46, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Cantal
is available in Waitrose and Tesco - there are a few varieties tho......
I am allergic to football and so cannot assist although you do not mention the wage for which I could overcome this affliction.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 11 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

That's embarrassing
Is it really? Not our Tesco, it's not, but then I do live in Norfolk.

All the Swansea footballers I mention are also cat rapists and illegal immigrants whose continued existence is driving down house prices nationwide, or, if you don't read the Daily Mail, are practising Scientologists and Michael McIntyre enthusiasts.

Does that help?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 11:51, Reply)

We are still missing a vital point
What is the amount of cash that you are prepared to part with in exchange for me carrying out this service to feckin' football?
Oh - try Epoisses - it is the king of all cheese, even if it is french.....
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 11 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

Thank you for the recommendation
I'm trying to encourage you to do this out of a sense of moral responsiblity. Shall we open at... 5 pence? Per kill?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 11:58, Reply)

and my travelling expenses?
Overnight digs with full english breakfast? Beer tokens?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 11 May 2011, 12:00, Reply)

I assumed such manly pasttimes would be of no interest to anyone who doesn't like football
I'll lend you a tent
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 12:05, Reply)

I have a tent
and rather splendid it is too. But it does need two people to erect and the BF has flatly refused to entertain the idea of being under canvas ever again.
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 11 May 2011, 12:08, Reply)

I'll meet you just outside Aberystwyth and we'll go from there

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Never
I went there once on a family holiday when I was 10. i am still scarred.Can't you pick me up on way from Norwich?
(Purpledoris I've got afeckin' job, Wed 11 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Oh, you're assuming I've got one of those new-fangled horseless carriages
I usually travel by laser-guided catapult
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 13:04, Reply)

I can't walk on straight lines
I keep going from one side to the other, kind of stumbling. I know it's annoying for everybody else, but I just can't manage, I think I don't have any sense of balance.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 11 May 2011, 11:49, Reply)

You are drunk
AICMFP
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 11 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

I do feel drunk right now
but I think it's hayfever.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 11 May 2011, 11:54, Reply)

It's your massive brain disturbing your sense of balance, Aber

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Hahaha
It's a nice way to say that I have a massive head.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 11 May 2011, 11:54, Reply)

I would never accuse you of such a thing Aber
You're nowhere near as arrogant as a hot Barcelona fan deserves to be
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Hahaha!
I'm keeping it down until the 28th. I have the feeling that ManU is going to beat Barsa and then Mark will be laughing at me for months.

That Sat is going to be interesting: BGB's bash, Doctor Who and Champions' final.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 11 May 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Will they fuck
Barcelona are a better team than the one that embarrassed Man Utd 2 years ago
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 11 May 2011, 12:05, Reply)

Yeah, well
that doesn't mean anything. Luck plays a lot too. Barsa is better than RM too and RM won the King's Cup.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 11 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)