OK... To make it more concrete
Your neighbour either buys a product well beyond your means and for which you would give your eye teeth OR they catch you cold masturbating in some freaky gimp get-up...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:13, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

You're never going to live down being caught tossing off by your neighbour are you, it's a shared experience
Whereas if you covet their goods so what?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:18, Reply)

If you're a status-hound or lunatic materialist
coveting is agony. Especially if that to which you aspire is flaunted in front of you daily. Masturbation is a natural act. Embarrassing to get caught certainly but... well, there may be some out there who would really favour the latter scenario. Please step forward and take a bow if you're out there!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:20, Reply)

one isn't as severe as the other
if my neighbor saw me masturbating in a gimp get up then he'd have some serious explaining to do, where as if he got a pool I'd be all "yo let me chill in your pool"
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:20, Reply)

Then
you could masturbate in his pool.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:23, Reply)

i once caught an old housemate asleep mid-wank
limp prawn like cock in hand, men and motors bouncing away with some big-titted blonde on the screen.

who jerks off to men and motors ffs?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:24, Reply)

Not me, that's for sure.
I tried to wank off to an ancient copy of Fiesta at the fertility clinic in Eastbourne the other day. It was SO tame compared to the internet's endless parade of perversion that I actually had to put the magazine away and use my imagination instead. I've become a hardened deviant.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:29, Reply)

it seems odd that there is a fertility clinic
in an area populated almost exclusively by the elderly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:32, Reply)