Burning shame or Bitter Jealousy?
Which is preferable? Why? Perhaps you've experienced one or both recently. Tell Uncle Happybara all about it.

Alt Q. Let us pretend for a moment that an IQ test provides an accurate reflection of a human-being's all-round intelligence. How many IQ points would you be prepared to drop, if each point rewarded you with an extra year's life?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:29, 69 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Shame you can run away from, jealously will stay with you
Your second question needs more parameters
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:34, Reply)

Your face needs more running over with a steamroller.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:39, Reply)

Fair point.
Assume an average life-span then make a choice based upon your estimation of your own intelligence and how much value you place upon it.
I would happily live 200 years as a drooling moron but that's mostly laziness on my part.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Nakers' IQ is 100, tops.
And that's me being nice to him. He's thick as pigshit - in reality I'd guess he's around the 75 mark.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:41, Reply)

You missed a 1 out from that post
175, is closer to the truth

/QOTW
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:44, Reply)

MASSIVE ASSBURGERS.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:47, Reply)

Shame you can run away from, just as I ran from the bedroom in which I deposited a copper bolt on swipe's bed in a shameful attempt to frame her then boyfriend
But the bitter jealousy lingers on*

*_{He didn't want me...*sobs*}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:44, Reply)

Hahahahah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:56, Reply)

Dropping IQ points would be a stupid thing to do, live your allotted time and fuck off
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:35, Reply)

If your IQ is 200
but you will only live to 30, then dropping fifty points would still leave you brainy but with a decent life, hence the addition of parameters needed to the question.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:36, Reply)

It's all hypothetical innit

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:40, Reply)

Hi, pathetic Al!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:42, Reply)

^ this is quite possibly my shittest ever post, which is quite a claim.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:42, Reply)

Yes I think you might be right.
But Hi anyway.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:47, Reply)

Hi!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:54, Reply)

HI!!!!!!!1111111!!!!!!!ELEVENELEVENELEVEN!!!!!11111111
*waggles eyebrows*
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:56, Reply)

Hugz4U

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:03, Reply)

It was alright, don't be harsh on yourself, there's plenty of others here more than happy to fill that role

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:49, Reply)

If your IQ was 200 you wouldn't exist though.
which would make the whole thing hypothetical.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:43, Reply)

Why not?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:44, Reply)

Because it's based upon a distribution not an absolute.
(I only know the absolute numbers because it was being discussed here the other day mind you but) an IQ of 195 I think makes you the top 14 million billionth percentile. So statistically speaking, 200 ain't going to happen.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:47, Reply)

Because since the tragic death of Norris McWhirter, no-one on Earth has been that clever.
Not even those Indian kids who sit A-Level computing when they're 5.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:48, Reply)

Talking of five-year-old Indian kids
did anyone ever substantiate the rumours about (the unquestionably very clever) Arthur C Clarke and his predilection for pre-pubescent Sri Lankan beach boys?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:52, Reply)

It was widely known, for sure.
Mind you, it's 'widely known' that Sir Jimmy Savile is a necrophiliac. Lots of lies are 'well known facts' I suppose.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:54, Reply)

Weird.
There's a very Jimmy Savile-like character in an Irving Welsh novel who gets to play with the corpses at his local hospital because he's such a generous benefactor. Perhaps that's where the rumours began.

In space no one can hear you dock...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:04, Reply)

That's basically the Savile story, relating to Stoke Mandeville hospital.
I do know that he was a very feared man in the clubland of the early 60s. The Krays left him well alone in Leeds and instead try to move in on Manchester and I believe Liverpool. They failed at that, too, anyway.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:09, Reply)

He's indisputably a creepy fucker.
I'd always had him down as a paedo. When I worked at the Beeb, a transcript of his guest appearance on Have I Got News for You did the rounds - it was an out-take in which Paul Merton basically accuses him of being a nonce then storms out.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:16, Reply)

Good evening, young master Barrington.
I'm uncertain as to why I feel this way, but my feeling is that I'd prefer jealousy. I am generally consumed by shame for my shortcomings and poor conduct - maybe I just fancy a change?

Alt: none. I'd rather die right now with my genius intact.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:36, Reply)

Your genius is as strong as your credit rating

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:37, Reply)

Yeah, well you look a bit like a Pakistani.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:38, Reply)

JOKE ABOUT RACE, I BET YOU THINK RACISM IS FU...shit, wrong thread...

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:40, Reply)

ha jha jha jha
now i must bid you all adieu.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:41, Reply)

Lets have a go at this..
+p g u tact + a hamster
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:40, Reply)

That's given me a headache.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:53, Reply)

Brave words indeed, dear Monty.
Yes, shame and embarrassment are particularly ubiquitous and painful for us self-doubting Englanders. The green-eyed monster might indeed make a welcome change.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:44, Reply)

"In life you can be oh so smart or oh so pleasent, being smart can bring you respect and reverence, but I recommend pleasant as the rewards are far more incandescent"

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:40, Reply)

I strongly suspect that you copy/pasted that.

( Kroney, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:42, Reply)

Typed it out and checked the spelling, it's from a Dan Le Sac song.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:43, Reply)

I wish i could get a girl to Dan my Sac

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:44, Reply)

You wish Dan would lick your sac.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:48, Reply)

What about attractiveness
or at least the ability to get laid regularly (which I know are only distant cousins?) versus longevity? Would you gladly meet death a few years prematurely if you'd looked gorgeous and supped at a few more loins?
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:48, Reply)

If you knew how I've lived over the years you would see in an instant that I've very much chosen the former path.
I'm unlikely to live to retirement age but I've had a lot of fun.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:50, Reply)

Why the distaste for the thin white puke, Monty?
Just curious...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:53, Reply)

I wrote a long reply to this and my internet crashed. Bugger.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:00, Reply)

Is it the music or is it ...personal?

(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:07, Reply)

It's the undeserving 'genuis' and 'innovator' plaudits he repeatedly gets.
His music is unremarkable, and certainly not original - I've seen him described as a 'cultural vampire' which is a good one, I think. His innovations were solely in the field of costume/stagecraft, which is hardly that impressive and certainly far from genius.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:11, Reply)

He was a near deity three decades ago,
now a cultural irrelevance. Perhaps it's time to let Ziggy go...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:18, Reply)

I wouldn't drop a point for an extra year.
In fact, if you could add points you can shave some years off me.

God knows, I need 'em.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 11 May 2011, 17:59, Reply)

same here, although
some form of common sense would be more use to me, I think
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:16, Reply)

Not sure, those are both pretty instense emotions.
Probably shame, because it's more subdued than jealousy.

alt: not sure, I don't have much to work with here
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:05, Reply)

OK... To make it more concrete
Your neighbour either buys a product well beyond your means and for which you would give your eye teeth OR they catch you cold masturbating in some freaky gimp get-up...
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:13, Reply)

You're never going to live down being caught tossing off by your neighbour are you, it's a shared experience
Whereas if you covet their goods so what?
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:18, Reply)

If you're a status-hound or lunatic materialist
coveting is agony. Especially if that to which you aspire is flaunted in front of you daily. Masturbation is a natural act. Embarrassing to get caught certainly but... well, there may be some out there who would really favour the latter scenario. Please step forward and take a bow if you're out there!
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:20, Reply)

one isn't as severe as the other
if my neighbor saw me masturbating in a gimp get up then he'd have some serious explaining to do, where as if he got a pool I'd be all "yo let me chill in your pool"
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:20, Reply)

Then
you could masturbate in his pool.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:23, Reply)

i once caught an old housemate asleep mid-wank
limp prawn like cock in hand, men and motors bouncing away with some big-titted blonde on the screen.

who jerks off to men and motors ffs?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:24, Reply)

Not me, that's for sure.
I tried to wank off to an ancient copy of Fiesta at the fertility clinic in Eastbourne the other day. It was SO tame compared to the internet's endless parade of perversion that I actually had to put the magazine away and use my imagination instead. I've become a hardened deviant.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:29, Reply)

it seems odd that there is a fertility clinic
in an area populated almost exclusively by the elderly
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:32, Reply)

jealousy
shame is my own fault. I don't like things being my fault
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:16, Reply)

Alright Camel

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:18, Reply)

evening rory
how's things today?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:19, Reply)

There's been a lot of board racism today, it's becoming more and more like Stormfront on here

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:27, Reply)

Before long
we'll end up discriminating against one another based on very specific hex values of coloured skin. This would of course mean one's racism against someone might change depending on whether you were looking at their arms or their pasty white bum
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:30, Reply)

go on number of visible freckles
easier to quantify
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:35, Reply)

but that will vary based on one's eyesight
also I know I get more in the summer. Oh, hang on, I suppose my system also changes in the summer. I would have the redists after me
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:38, Reply)

why isnt search working waaaaah

(PsychoChomp, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:27, Reply)

what are you searching for?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 11 May 2011, 19:03, Reply)

himself, duh

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 11 May 2011, 19:05, Reply)

Bitter jealousy!
Never felt it so I'm up for the experience.

Alt: None. I'm stupid enough as it is.
( girlinthehole, Wed 11 May 2011, 19:09, Reply)