Do urban ledgens count? Because I have a great one told to me by someone who works on the train.
"Sometimes people jump on the train tracks but the nchange their mind... they then try to jump out of the way of the train, but the train is to fast and grabs their lower half and pulls it under, but their top half is fine. But then the train is holding all the body organs into place, stop them spilling out all over the floor, so when the train pulls off, you're dead. And can still feel your body being ripped in two. They call down a religious person (who is always on duety) and use the station phone to call a loved one... but if your loved one can't get there inside the hour, then you have to do it over the phone."
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:23, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

That's one of the best 'Jimmy Hillers' I have ever heard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:31, Reply)

It must be real 'cus the guy showed us the secret button that closes the train doors between each compartment.
Much to our amusment growing up.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Are you one of the Railway Children?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Blimey that's a bit insensitive isn't it?


You know, after the war and all that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Being someone who was born after the 50s, I have no idea as to what you're reffering.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:40, Reply)

It's funny because my husband was a war baby

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Tee Hee Eee.
<3 U !
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I less than three you too Gonz

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

OMG! Did George Clinton spank him electrically?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:44, Reply)

"I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe. I was not offended"
/funkadelic
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Their 'Maggot Brain' is one of my favourite LPs ever.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:12, Reply)

it is fantastic

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:17, Reply)