I'm bored with that already.
Tell me your best conspiracy theories. Extra points for anyone who suddenly 'disappears' in the next few days.

Alt: what can all us non-cool kids do thi sweekend while everyone else is off partying it up?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:21, 188 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Go on the pier

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:22, Reply)

I believe that the whole of mankind with the emphasis on 'man' is out to punish me by leaving me alone and frustrated.

( girlinthehole, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:25, Reply)

Oh man, rest assured Blousie, if I wasn't a married man
I'd unfrustrate you so damned fast your knees would be quivering. But I'm afraid I am.

Last night I was looking through some old photos around about the time I first me Mrs al, and there was one taken literally about 3 minutes after we first said hello to each other, and another taken in a bar a couple of days later about five minutes before we first kissed.

It made me do a big smile.




I realise this isn't helping at all.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:30, Reply)

that's quite sweet
you bender
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:32, Reply)

Yeah you GAYLORD

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:33, Reply)

Of course I properly put my foot in it by mocking her dead mother just after we kissed.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:35, Reply)

and feeding her cat 87p in coppers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Fanku Al : )

Your missis is very lucky and when I get drunk enough I'll tell her.
( girlinthehole, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:34, Reply)

I bet you saw the 5 minutes after you first meet one and though "Daaayum Player got skillzzz" and then licked your finger and did a sizzlign sound when touching your chest.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)

The one that says women have rights. Ha!
Alt: Stay Classy.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:27, Reply)

Smints are just the middle bits of polo's reshaped, fact!
Alt: Make a hard hitting documentary about the difficult struggle a stallion has in getting his sex change operation on the NHS.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:28, Reply)

Whats a chenge?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:31, Reply)

blah blah blah, typo, blah blah blah

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:32, Reply)

blah blah blah, witty retort, blah blah blah

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:35, Reply)

It'll do you good.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Alien abducti

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:33, Reply)

I hope it's me.
Analprobelols.
( girlinthehole, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:35, Reply)

this made me lol

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Oh man, where did the last seven minutes go?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

down the fucking pan
work-wise.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:41, Reply)

in other news
I weighed myself this morning and I was less than 13stone for the first time in probably 15 years
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:36, Reply)

Well done you
I weighed myself this morning and was surprised to see that I have lost a kilo this week. Only another ten to go and I might let someone actually take my picture.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:38, Reply)

You should take a picture of yourself every day
and then put them together into a video after a year.

It'll look like those time lapse vids of a whale at the bottom of the sea being digested by bacteria.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Thanks Chompy.
That helps with the lolfatty pain.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

Don't forget the hagfish*
*not technically a fish
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

And you, fuckface.
You can fuck off too.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Honestly, hagfish don't have jaws and so can't be classified as fish

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Weight loss fives
although I went to a burlesque night and got pissed last night so not strictly sticking to my diet.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:38, Reply)

Does your diet involve cutting down on strippers?

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

No booze

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:41, Reply)

I guessed as much, I just thought I'd make a facetious remark.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:43, Reply)

that's mostly what mine is down to as well
and weight loss fallout from my mrs being on a diet
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:43, Reply)

*reciprocates*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Proper weight loss fives
I've lost five stone. It took me two years, mind...
(berk, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:58, Reply)

I have just tipped over 13 stone for the first time
It's all muscle though so it's alright...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:39, Reply)

rowr!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

^this

( girlinthehole, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:41, Reply)

: (
You weigh less than me.
( girlinthehole, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

I will refrain from pointing out that I am 6'2"

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

I will refrain from pointing out that I probably have more muscle.

( girlinthehole, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:43, Reply)

perhaps
I'm not exactly a weakling though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I was joking!
I'm a lolfatty : (
( girlinthehole, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:46, Reply)

naa
bit of meat on the bones is good
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Yeah, but you're way sexier.
And less smug.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:43, Reply)

and she has great boobies.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:44, Reply)

I've managed to finally stay under 13 stone for the past 8 days
having visited briefly over the past year but never stopping. I am also very pleased. If only some of it had left my waistline...
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:56, Reply)

one of my american friends was telling me that she goes to school with a girl who believes that the moon landing was a hoax.
alt: I'm starting a blanket, and finishing study. Tonight I'm watchin a movie with mum - Charlie and Boots. And tomorrow we're going to do something, I don't know what.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:39, Reply)

You are weaving a blanket?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:40, Reply)

making one as a present.
Not weaving - more quilting.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

You know you can shoot lasers to the moon and hit the reflectors they left there.
Then measure the returned light to prove that they've been there.
People are stupid.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:41, Reply)

You didn't really need the first two lines of that post
People just *are* stupid. TRUFAX.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

very very true.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Yeah, because it's probably easier and much less effort
to get thousands of people to take part in a massive hoax than actually send someone into space.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

^this

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:43, Reply)

It probably is to be honest,
moon landings was one of the most difficult things ever achieved by man.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Yeah, but to get thousands of people to actively take part in an elaborate hoax
and then maintain the charade for decades... not very likely, methinks.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:44, Reply)

I know - I was nonplussed when she told me.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:46, Reply)

Wasn't Zod on the moon in Superman 2?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

And Ursa, and Non.
Stupid fucking conspiracy theorists.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:54, Reply)

That girl seriously needs to check out Superman 2 and get her facts right

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Not Superman 4 though.
Because it was shit.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Conspiracy theorists will believe anything that's laid out for them
Except a logical argument as to why what they believe is, in fact, probably complete and utter bollocks because that's what 'they' want 'you' to think. I know this because my neighbour is one, and shuns reputable news websites for DavidIcke.com.

Did you know that cancer is a fungus that can be easily cured but 'they' don't want this to be known because it's in the medical profession's interest to not have a cure out there?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Logic cannot be used against an illogical view point

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:55, Reply)

I can't be arsed so here's a Cracked article
www.cracked.com/article_15974_7-insane-conspiracies-that-actually-happened.html

I am already a bit nonplussed by being home. What can I do? I have already done some sewing, looked at my clothes and read a book.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:42, Reply)

Write a book?
Edit: www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-13540409 enjoy penguins
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:43, Reply)

Not feeling very inspired at the moment.
We're going, right?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:46, Reply)

I'm sure it could be arranged.
But first, I must go to the pub.

I'll see all you cool kids tomorrow.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:48, Reply)

Au revoir!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:49, Reply)

You could try putting your clothes on.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:43, Reply)

I'm wearing clothes.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:44, Reply)

Have you got any pets you can torment?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:44, Reply)

He's up in my dad's office, where my dad has made a little den for him
the cat likes sleeping on a bag on a shelf, and my dad has stuck pictures of sleeping cats on the wall for the cat to look at.

No jokes.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:45, Reply)

I dread to think how you "torment" your pets...

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:45, Reply)

He fucks them, Crow

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Yes, I thought that was widley known,
Crow, have you not been paying attention?
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

He's probably too lazy to read beyond the first four or five letters of someone's username
He thinks he's dating a lamp. Crow is Brick Tamland AICMFP
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:56, Reply)

Convoluted

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

hahahaha

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

the clue is in the name

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

I suggest an early night
And then go straight to sleep.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

If you play "Entrails Ripped Through A Virgin's Cunt" by Cannibal Corpse backwards
you get a recipe for triple choc chip cookies
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Is that an actual song title?
I'm guessing it was writtenby a boy who didn't get a lot of love from the ladies.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Standard for Cannibal Corpse
Very angry, very fast, very heavy.

Fucking great live.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Can a corpse be live?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Zombie-noms!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

I like heavy metal, but CC are way beyond

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:51, Reply)

Agreed on both counts
Not a fan myself. If it's not Slayer, am not fussed about that level of speed or aggression.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:53, Reply)

No, that's 'Fucked With A Knife'
'Entrails' is Blueberry muffins, where 'Hammer Smashed Face' talks about the method that DNA was discovered.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:51, Reply)

*consults mp3 catalogue of Cannibal Corpse songs played backwards*
How right you are. My apologies, sir.

Anal Cunt are just horrible though
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:52, Reply)

Its probably the cunt you dont like

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

ha ha ha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:57, Reply)

Very good

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:58, Reply)

Right I'm off for the day!
*deploys hostessing skillz*
( girlinthehole, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:55, Reply)

Ooh look what's just been delivered to my flat
2 x The Ice Co. Ice Cubes 2kg - Total Price GBP 2.00
1 x Sainsbury's Fresh Orange Juice Smooth 1.75L - Total Price GBP 2.36
2 x Kronenbourg 1664, 'Eiffel' Bottles 15x275ml - Total Price GBP 18.00
1 x Coca Cola 2L - Total Price GBP 1.78
1 x Coca Cola, Diet 2L - Total Price GBP 1.22
1 x Sainsbury's White Plastic Cups, Basics x50 - Total Price GBP 0.99
1 x Mcguigan Bin Series Merlot 75cl - Total Price GBP 4.99
2 x Sainsbury's Red Tumblers 38cl x10 - Total Price GBP 3.98
2 x Gordon's Slimline Tonic 250ml - Total Price GBP 3.06
1 x Gordon's Dry Gin 70cl - Total Price GBP 11.43
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:59, Reply)

it's party time in about 36 hours.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:59, Reply)

You need a LOT more tonic

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:00, Reply)

Already got a big bottle
and people will bring more.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Nothing worse than having gin and not enough tonic

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:03, Reply)

Having no gin?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:04, Reply)

Well how about having tonic and not enough gin

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:05, Reply)

That's before having your wife and kids raped and house burnt down

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Whilst being forced to listen to Combichrist

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:08, Reply)

And listening to monty talk about combichrist.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Wow
You two really *are* the same person, aren't you?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

He's not quite as charming.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:12, Reply)

Not as charming as you?
the mind boggles
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:24, Reply)

I buck my ideas up if there's some gowl on the go

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:32, Reply)

DID YOU KNOW THEY ARE PLAYING AT 'INFEST'???!!!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:15, Reply)

No they're not
I am seeing them with Darth soon though.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:21, Reply)

Fuck that shit.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

^Exactly

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Isn't that Kroney's job?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:19, Reply)

Haha
It's his fucking theme tune.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:20, Reply)

Cancer?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)

Apart from having loads of tonic and no fucking gin, surely?
Or are you a poofter?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Gin Martini FTW
No fucking olives though you plebs
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:18, Reply)

Or 'a martini' as it's known to non-plebs.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:28, Reply)

true, but considering the audience I thought i'd better be specific
heavens knows their only experience of this drink of kings will be that oaf Bond and his "Vodka Martini" shaken with ice like a girl.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:51, Reply)

I hope other people are bringing booze
also - Mcguigan Bin Series Merlot 75cl - Total Price GBP 4.99 Really?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:01, Reply)

What is wrong with that?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:01, Reply)

Of course,
that's not even between me and my housemate.
Edit, yeah half price nothing wrong with a drop of merlot.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I never think of it as a "party wine"
Also i don't like it and I have impeccable taste
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:06, Reply)

Oh right, I'll throw it out the window as soon as I get home

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:07, Reply)

I think that's best for everyone, don't you?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Depends who's beneath my window.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:10, Reply)

Good Lad

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:15, Reply)

That's a Wednesday night in.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Just a quiet one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:02, Reply)

Do you stack the cups up?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:03, Reply)

My favourite is 'Marlboro fund the Klan and you can see 'KKK' in the pack designs'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:09, Reply)

Ha ha ha,

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:10, Reply)

This was a popular theory in 1980s Winchester.
I was told this 'fact' about 5 times.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

We were aware of this 'fact' in Bristol as well.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:15, Reply)

British Knights as well ?

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)

NO WAI????

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)

No for sure, should you still own a pair if you remove the sole it's got KKK on it
Word up
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:18, Reply)

*runs home, afeared*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:29, Reply)

I'm not familiar with this one Rory.
I asusme you mean that shoe company, what was the theory surrounding them? (Other than their shoes were just as shit as Travel Fox)
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:18, Reply)

I need me a pair of those purple wizard moccasins
necolebitchie.com/2008/05/14/british-knights-are-making-a-comeback/
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Blud! dey r sik man!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:24, Reply)

Freddy Fresh yo

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:25, Reply)

I met Freddy Fresh in Cork once.
He was on the same bill as us at a festival. He's abput 3 feet tall and billy bullshitter of the first water. I suspect he may be a QOTW regular.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:35, Reply)

*Crushed*

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Those BK are mental.
I remeber having a pair of Airwalk Lava


( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:26, Reply)

I had a burger from BK once
I had it My Way.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:27, Reply)

Absolute rubbish.
A complete Whopper if I ever did read one.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:28, Reply)

I'm being flame(grille)d!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:30, Reply)

You got it!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:34, Reply)

I'm NOT lovin' it.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:34, Reply)

You've XL'd yourself there.
not really
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:31, Reply)

They're like totally skill

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:31, Reply)

They were years ago.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:33, Reply)

Airwalk have always been gay.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Like your mum.
Special Edition: 'Airwalk Monty Mum'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:38, Reply)

I got told it in Ampthill

(PsychoChomp, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:16, Reply)

hahaha
Is this is why you are a heavy smoker, so you can do your bit for the cause?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:11, Reply)

NO LOOK IT EVEN SAYS HORRIBLE JEW ON THE PACKET

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Open your eyes people

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

It actually does on mine.
In biro.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)

hahahahaha
*clicks*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:22, Reply)

Sorry for another link but this is just stunning
www.popularmechanics.com/technology/aviation/ufo/area-51-was-the-roswell-ufo-really-a-soviet-hoax-5794200
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:13, Reply)

Well, I've solved the conspiracy of why my arm and back hurt
I fell down a set of stairs last night, whoops!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:14, Reply)

Do you have a black eye?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:16, Reply)

No.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:17, Reply)

Well shut the fuck up if you want to stay that way.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:31, Reply)

I like the one that I started that the nazis invented the braun shaver because Eva Braun had hairy legs.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:18, Reply)

It's a good'un.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:30, Reply)

Do urban ledgens count? Because I have a great one told to me by someone who works on the train.
"Sometimes people jump on the train tracks but the nchange their mind... they then try to jump out of the way of the train, but the train is to fast and grabs their lower half and pulls it under, but their top half is fine. But then the train is holding all the body organs into place, stop them spilling out all over the floor, so when the train pulls off, you're dead. And can still feel your body being ripped in two. They call down a religious person (who is always on duety) and use the station phone to call a loved one... but if your loved one can't get there inside the hour, then you have to do it over the phone."
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:23, Reply)

That's one of the best 'Jimmy Hillers' I have ever heard.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:31, Reply)

It must be real 'cus the guy showed us the secret button that closes the train doors between each compartment.
Much to our amusment growing up.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:34, Reply)

Are you one of the Railway Children?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:35, Reply)

Blimey that's a bit insensitive isn't it?


You know, after the war and all that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:37, Reply)

Being someone who was born after the 50s, I have no idea as to what you're reffering.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:40, Reply)

It's funny because my husband was a war baby

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:41, Reply)

Tee Hee Eee.
<3 U !
( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:43, Reply)

I less than three you too Gonz

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

OMG! Did George Clinton spank him electrically?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:44, Reply)

"I have tasted the maggots in the mind of the universe. I was not offended"
/funkadelic
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:45, Reply)

Their 'Maggot Brain' is one of my favourite LPs ever.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:12, Reply)

it is fantastic

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:17, Reply)

That Scottish bastard Scarpe has stolen an insult I threw at Rogerthestarfish and used it completely out of context

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/trolls/post1209528

Someone should send him back to Dubai
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:49, Reply)

That was spimf.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 May 2011, 12:51, Reply)

Oh...time for an edit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:52, Reply)

Totally not reading that, but as long as it makes Al happy, then that's all I care about. Second is Clendrix. After then it's a free-for-all.

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:53, Reply)

I feel like one of those internet people who has their work stolen by ad agencies

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:54, Reply)

Man up sugar tits.

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:01, Reply)

What was the insult anyway?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 27 May 2011, 13:05, Reply)

He called someone 'a total fucking tosser like that spastic NakedApe'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 27 May 2011, 13:13, Reply)