Alt: Pistols, Sex.
Alt alt: I'd call it 'Foxtrot's'.

The action would be centred on a busy telecommunications hub in the fast-paced metropolis known as Norwich. One of the main characters is Martin aka 'The Fwap' - a kind of gay Colin Hunt character whose catchphrase is 'OMG I've got tickets to see CombiChrist at InFest!!!'. After a couple of weeks of the show people will really get into it. Then there's the 'love interest', 'Bella', a mong faced communist floor-roller with the morals of a navvy and a fanny like a bowl of offal. She fancies 'Martin', blissfully unaware that he's gay as a fucking window and each lunchtime he noshes off the branch manager 'NakedApe', whose 'thing' is that he constantly starts shit threads.

There are some other incidental characters I haven't worked out quite yet - these days you have to have a disabled character so I'm thinking of a chap with a thighbone disorder, something like that. And seeing as it's set in rural climes I'm thinking a farmer would be good - a pig farmer perhaps, known as 'Wet Ham Man' or something.

The theme tune will be a 'mash-up' of the themes to 'Rentaghost', 'Supergran' and 'Give Us a Clue'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:46, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

*crying with laughter*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:48, Reply)

Winner!
*phones Granada*
( girlinthehole, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:49, Reply)

I might start work on a script today.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:51, Reply)

I think you just did it
based on most of the "comedy" shows out there now
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:52, Reply)

I think you need to add a few more characters.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:52, Reply)

Rachel, the comely lawyer?
Jeff, the odd-job man who keep disappearing into his "cupboard"
I think Blousie should be Martin's manager
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:54, Reply)

I want to be the vet.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Yes! a kind of butch dyke who wants to mother him.

( girlinthehole, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Perhaps if it read "comedy lawyer"

(The Luggage is haunted..., Fri 3 Jun 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Not that you know who that is, being a 'new person' and all...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 14:05, Reply)

GOTCHA!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 14:06, Reply)

You will need a handsome, strong and silent type character to bring in the interest of the middle-aged women watchers.
May I suggest you base this loosely on Jeff.
( girlinthehole, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:56, Reply)

^ I like this.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 13:58, Reply)

If you want an gangly unfunny hippy with a dick covered in dog shit I think Jeff's available.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 3 Jun 2011, 14:01, Reply)