Well, aren't we all massive bundles of fucking joy this morning?
In an incredible twist of fate, I am rather happy at the moment, so anyone who needs cheering up can come see me and I will show them my boobs. Actually, if the reasons you're not happy are spouse-related, my boobs probably won't do much to help. But I'm very good at sympathising. And cuddles. And making soothing noises.

This morning I have computers for the terrified, then I will mostly be doing a fortnight's worth of laundry in one afternoon. On a day with no sunshine. I have a feeling my tumble drier will be on most of today. The rest of the week stretches out before me in a desolate, barren wasteland of mediocrity.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:03, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Morning dear
My hangover hasn't cleared up yet, boobs/cuddles/soothing noises please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)

Anything for you sweetie

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Very dangerous thing to say to me

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Did you enjoy your day trip yesterday?
Did they buy you an ice cream and let you play in puddles?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)

It was fucking great actually
Until it started pissing it down at least. The kids had the time of their lives
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)

I had to look it up to see what all the fuss was about.
I can see why you preferred it to Go Ape.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

There were still a few bits where I nearly soiled myself
But yeah, managed to avoid a repition of the joyous vertigo-induced panic attack which will always be my defining memory of Go Ape
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:28, Reply)

Tumble dryers use more electricity than Monty does re-animating himself every morning

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)

I usually only use it for sheets and towels
as I have no washing line outside.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)

3rd WORLD BRITAIN

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)

I NO RITE?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)

They use more electricity than your missus does vibing herself up, dreaming of me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Poor timing perhaps Monty
Just call him a cunt like usual
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)

Deliberately poor, yes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)

if only that extended to the other ways in which you are poor

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)

I'm pretty sure Monty was aware of the likely outcome of spunking loads of cash on MDs and ultra-rare vinyl
He has deliberately traded financial solvency for the chance to tell great stories on the internet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

your definition of great and mine differ wildly

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)

Yours encompasses South Park, so yes it does

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)

That's right - I did all for your entertainment.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)

Pffft, git

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)

yeah, but they get things dry
I am happy to exchange electricity for convenience.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)

My little garden is all paved over
and the dog goes out there a lot. I don't want anything I wash to come back inside smelling of dogshit, so I am happy to use the tumble drier and a load of clothes airers.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)

I do have a washing line
which I use when I can, but I pretty much always tumble dry underwear and such
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)

freak.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)

There are clothes on our washing line that have been there since Thursday last week
and there they will remain until we get a day upon which it doesn't fucking rain
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)

by which time they will probably want washing again.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

They can fuck off if they expect that level of special treatment

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)

Slattern.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)

I'm going to avoid confessing that I'm not sure what that word means with a strikethrough which will thoroughly distract you
n y

+Tony
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)

Don't be silly
Breasts always help.
( Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)

*boobs*

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)

Hmmm boobs not so much
I like breasts you see
( Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:14, Reply)

huge pendulous ones?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)