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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I'm in a filthy fucking mood today.
There are a number of reasons for this which I shall not bore you with, for they are indeed incredibly boring.

For a moment this morning I was cheered - but all too briefly - as I scanned this evening's television listings and saw this:
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b0120dxp

Bloody cheek, getting my hopes up. I thought the wanker had decided at last do the decent thing and invest in a Family Bucket. But no.

Good luck to those sitting exams at the moment.

What have you got on this week? Lolwaki clothing-based replies will be met with withering derision, and rightly so.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:29, 20 replies, latest was 15 years ago)
No plans for this week, as I've zero money until Friday, ah well
Next week is when my friend gets back from Singapore though, and I can't wait for that, I've missed her like hell.

You?
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:32, Reply)
Fuck all, old boy.
Fuck. All.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:42, Reply)
Yeah', I think the way he's going, that's his plan.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:05, Reply)
Hahahah 10/10

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:19, Reply)
I'm in a filthy mood as well, but it's my fault for fucking up royally
I may take your sound advice and kill myself today
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:32, Reply)
Do tell.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:49, Reply)
I fucked up with the misses, badly.
last thing she needs at almost 8 months, the worst thing is, it is similar to a previous fuck up
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:54, Reply)
You told her she looked fat didn't you?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:00, Reply)
I wish!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:00, Reply)
You fucked her fat sister!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)
At least with that I would have got my end away

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:10, Reply)
'Morning Monty.
I have loads of re-drawing to do for a shit customer who cannot sort out what he actually wants us to supply, or how it should work. All rather boring I'm afraid.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:34, Reply)
Draw him a massive magenta cock

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:35, Reply)
I'll do that.
Don't forget to post your demise on Youtube.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:36, Reply)
Will do! What music shall i put on in the backround?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:38, Reply)
My old man's a dustman
Has the sombre feel about it.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:39, Reply)
Excellent choice

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:50, Reply)
It should be the 'Goodbye, Farewell' tune from The Sound of Music.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:54, Reply)
I think only if it is a bloody end

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:05, Reply)
You're a bloody 'end.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:19, Reply)
Did you buy anything yesterday?

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:37, Reply)
Nope,
Dissapointed really. I like English county maps, and the selection was poor. The rest were very good, but not my taste.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:41, Reply)
I have a lovely repro Hampshire map, sat, framed in a cupboard from when I redecorated a few years ago.
I was rather taken by a Victorian borough-by-borough London poverty map. The irony being that I was too poor to buy it.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:46, Reply)
I'm looking for an original 18th or 19th Century map of Hampshire for an anniversary present for the GF
Framing it will cost more than the map, probably.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:57, Reply)
That always irks me

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:03, Reply)
It has rained here almost every day for about 7 weeks
It coincided beautifully with me finishing a new, more private, seating/bbq/frotting area round the back. Shit weather really can get on your tit-end after a while.

I had a heavy night on Thursday that kyboshed both Friday and Saturday, I felt reet grand on Sunday and started on the beers'n'smoke about 3pm. This was pleasant enough until about 3am, leaving me a few hours respite till I had to get up for fucking work.

This week will see me a week closer to dying, and that's the only thing I will achieve. Well, that and perhaps sorting the insurance out on my bust laptop.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:41, Reply)
Haha when will we learn...

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:50, Reply)
Perhaps by the time you are 35 or so...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:52, Reply)
I shall, once again, be doing fuck all this week
I'm still signed off from work. I have TV, internet, books and tea.

Life is good
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:47, Reply)
Happy happy joy joy!
Five days of tedium heading towards a weekend of awesomeness.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:48, Reply)
Elaborate.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:53, Reply)
London..........Aber's party.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:59, Reply)
Not sure about that, still.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)
That's ok.
Just gaz me when you know either way.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:10, Reply)
That I shall.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Oh great, another grand social occasion involving everyone I love and hold dear, that I've been excluded from on account of my creed.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:26, Reply)
I guess I could ge a refund on this haircut I got especially for it.

(I helped save b3ta! G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:26, Reply)
My reward for subjecting myself to Ikea yesterday will be assembling shit this week
I look forward to seeing the 80 or so steps to completion crammed onto one side of faded A4 and the use of one missing pixel here or there to differentiate between four identical pieces of wood.
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:58, Reply)
An Ikea product with 80 steps.
Is it the Taj Mahal?
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:59, Reply)
Hahah unlucky.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 8:59, Reply)
Instructions are for girls

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:01, Reply)
When it comes to DVD players, cars and fireworks I agree
Past experience with flat pack furniture means I follow each cryptic step of the instructions to the letter
(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:05, Reply)
Sound thinking.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:05, Reply)
I love doing flat pack stuff.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:05, Reply)
I absolutely loathe it - along with all DIY or manual work. Hate it.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)
It's like a useful jigsaw
Not that I'm any good at it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:07, Reply)
It's the assumption that because I have a mortgage and a penis I'm capable of putting up a shelf that gets to me

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:08, Reply)
When I was a child we had maintenance staff who did all home-type stuff
so I learnt literally nothing from my father. My brother learnt it all for himself in the ten years he spent as a squatter but I am devoid of any and all practical skills. It's expensive.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:13, Reply)
Does it really take ten years to learn how to smack up and wipe feces on the walls?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:15, Reply)
I don't know what 'feaces' is so I cannot comment.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)
really you'll need a hammer and some nails as well
I put up two bespoke shelves on saturday and yes i do want a fucking medal
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:14, Reply)
It's not fucking hard
DIY is a piece of piss
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)
This week I will be going to the cinema
but seeing as it all looks shit except stuff the person I'm going with I might replace it with a DVD so I can talk and drink without interupting the film.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:06, Reply)
I watched "Hanna" last night
I wasn't really sure what to make of it, it seemed torn between different genres
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:08, Reply)
Oh man are you 'really into film'?

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:10, Reply)
Nah, not at all
99% of the films churned out are "fucking shit"
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:11, Reply)
That just looked like a remake of Salt
with a younger woman.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:11, Reply)
I wish I'd been to see that samurai film.
First time in as long as I can remember that I actually want to go to the cinema and I miss it.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:09, Reply)
I wouldn't mind seeing that,
I'll get it on DVD or soemthing eventually.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:15, Reply)
Same here.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Everyone's in a cracking mood today I see
I probably should be in a good mood, despite The Horror Of McLaren, but am too hungover to muster a smile. A good mate's birthday drinks last night. I intended to go along for a couple as I have a busy week ahead, but I was one of only two people to show up, and felt so bad for the poor boy that I was compelled to stay the course and get royally shitfaced.

Here's hoping your day and week improve henceforth, Monters and Apey.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:10, Reply)
Amen brother

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Can you not muster enough support for a Villa-style fans backlash?

(I helped save b3ta! Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:12, Reply)
I feel really fucking sorry for Villa fans right now
Alex fucking McLeish. The way he took Brum down required real skill in the field of being crap at football. I can only assume he's been on Villa's payroll since just after the Carling Cup final
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Still, McClaren eh?
What accent will he do this time?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:33, Reply)
I assume he'll pick up the Notts accent
and start calling everyone "me duck". In a low countries voice.

Is Monty aware that the Dutsch Schteve meme is based on a football manager?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:35, Reply)
Cheers mate
Hamilton needs to sort his head out
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:13, Reply)
Who, 'Diddy'?

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:16, Reply)
Nowt to do with Formula 1 I'm afraid
Best of luck with everything sir
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:17, Reply)
What are you banging on about then?
Thanks for the wishes, I have sent flowers in a pathetic attempt to curry favour. It won't work and I'm £50 out, still one can but try!
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)
Come on
What have you done?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:41, Reply)
It's football, I can't remember if you care about that or not
so won't bore you with the details. Good luck getting out of the doghouse mate. I assume you don't need to be told this, but a shitload of grovelling awaits thee
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)
This^
Book a table somewhere nice for tonight. Drive and don't drink
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Nah i don't care, but thanks for clarifying
I'm prepared for the grovelling don't you worry, i am well rehearsed
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Shitty timing with her about to pop
I suppose you'll just have to be massively understanding of every mood swing, that should do it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:50, Reply)
Remind her of the Golden Rule
"If there are two ways to take something I said, and one of them makes you sad and angry, I meant the other one."
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:56, Reply)
By 'The Horror Of McLaren' I take it you mean 'Bow Wow Wow'?
I used to really fancy the girl from that band - but their murdering of the simply superb 'I Want Candy' was a fucking disgrace.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:15, Reply)
I have no idea what any of these words mean

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:18, Reply)
Bow Wow Wow were a Malcolm McLaren post-Sex Pistols project.
They covered the Strangeloves' excellent 'I Want Candy', and did not do a good job of it.

The End.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Thank you for clarifying
For a moment I thought you meant the ridiculously shit young American "rapper" L'il Bow Wow
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:29, Reply)
If you care, and you might just,
here's the original: www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6roiwPK3Ok

It's great.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:31, Reply)
I did care, as I was wondering if it was the song I imagined
and you're right, it is.

Thank you.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:36, Reply)
It's a top quality use of the 'Bo Diddley' rhythm.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)
Unfortunately this is where I have to shrug and say "if you say so Monty"
My knowledge of the music of the 1960s is rudimentary at best. I know the Beatles were shit, but that's about it.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:40, Reply)
There's a mine of wonderful stuff out there.
Amidst acres and acres of utter shit.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:44, Reply)
It's those acres that put me off, frankly
Plus the fact that my interest in and knowledge of music is nowhere near as voracious and encyclopedic (respectively) as yours. Always happy to receive recommendations, however.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:48, Reply)
This week I will be running and not eating my own bodyweight in food
Something which I failed spectacularly to do on Saturday when out at a Spanish tapas place for Mrs Cow's birthday. I shall also be finishing a small patio at Chez 'cow and scripting, lots of scripting.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:12, Reply)
Film scripting?
Are you 'really into film'? I am.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:15, Reply)
Nothing so exciting, I'm afraid

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:32, Reply)
I have discovered that drinking a can of Relentless energy drink before the gym makes me exercise much better.
Unfortunately the calories in the damn thing probably outweigh the calories burnt.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:20, Reply)
Don't ever have more than one before exercising
As you might feel quite sick afterwards, or feel like you're suffering from palpatations.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:29, Reply)
I only ever have one a day.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:30, Reply)
Very good plan!

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:31, Reply)
exams suck. I hate exams. I especially hate chemistry. CHemistry can go fuck itself.
I have trackies and a jumper on. and more exams. And I have to tutor people, and I have to say goodbye to my best friend at uni cos she's about to leave to go home to America and I feel all sad about it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:25, Reply)
Just remember how great it's going to be when you're are living in the UK and working as a bio chemist or whatever it is you will be doing.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:27, Reply)
right now I just hate it.
I gave up TWICE today.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:28, Reply)
Bar maid's the most statistically likely.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:29, Reply)
Fuck you and the concrete cow you rode in on.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:30, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:31, Reply)
ZING!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Haha

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Two pints and some dry roasted peanuts first though love.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:33, Reply)
get them yourself you lazy clagnut.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Cheer up,
chemistry is awesome and one of the easiest subjects to revise. Just keep doing it again and again and it'll eventually stick, it's like a mixture of Maths and a Language, repeat the process and questions dozens of times and you'll soon not realise why you found it so hard.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)
Yeah, just like field-stripping a rifle- repetition, repetition.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:47, Reply)
This is my Periodic Table
There are many like it, but this one is mine
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Or dismembering a corpse

(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Nothing much.
Bloody watch strap broke though, so I'm going to make a replacement out of para cord.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Ducttape. You need duct tape.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:34, Reply)
I use that for things in my basement.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:34, Reply)
people. You mean people don't you?

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:36, Reply)
They're not people to him

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:41, Reply)
I'm not saying anything further.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Me too : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)
Care to compare recipes?

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:45, Reply)
Ok
1 off gimp suit
2 off shackles
2 off nipple clamps
1 off spare pair of nipple clamps
4 off rubber sheets
assorted whips, chains and paddles
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:48, Reply)
Sticks and stones may break your bones
But whips and chains excite you?
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:53, Reply)
To be honest, the only thing down my cellar that excites me is the booze I have left from the party.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:58, Reply)
Left over booze?
What kind of lightweight gheys did you invite?

How embarrassing.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)
I have the Champagne Bartleby bought me.
I'm saving it for a special occasion.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Someone buying you champagne isn't a special enough occasion?
Christ, what are you waiting for? The day Jeff finally decides he's been wasting his time in Hollywood and races to Todmorden?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)
If you invite me to your next party, you'll have champagne too.
I'm just pleased to hear she didn't neck it on Saturday night.
(I helped save b3ta! Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
I'm also full of the joys of summer
as my wife told me not to expect her to be there when I get home. I also caught her looking at quickie divorce pages online
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Have you been shagging Apey?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:32, Reply)
Oof, seriously?

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:33, Reply)
Yup
Personally I fully expect her to be there when I get home. But I suppose you lot will be the first to know.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:59, Reply)
That's really shitty fella, hope things work out well

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Ooo fuck.
That's not good. Hope it all goes well for you.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Fuck.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:34, Reply)
Is it because you've been looking for quickies online?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:35, Reply)
Worse
Yesterday I used to wrong oven glove. The added up to hundreds of other minor things have apparently pushed her over the edge, though she can't think of an individual crime worse than using a tea towel to mop up a spilt cup of tea.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Oh, you massive cunt.
I can't believe you did that etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)
I'll bet you once put a knife in the area allocated for forks in the cutlery tray as well
You heartless swine.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:04, Reply)
You know what you did, you swine!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)
If she has to tell you what you did
you don't love her enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
I know what I did, she yelled at me for using the wrong oven glove whilst making her a roast dinner
I told her I didn't care.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:12, Reply)
Do you still want to make it work?

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)
Yes
Very much so, I just don't give a shit about oven gloves and tea towels so it's never going to work between us obviously. To be honest I'd never leave her, I love my spawn too much.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Then I hope it gets sorted out.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)
I'm sure it will be fine
She's probably just on her period or something
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)
Hasn't she just had a kid?
She could be suffering from post natal depression
(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)
^this

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Shes just stopped feeding
so hormonal problems may very well be the cause of her mentaloverateatowelitus
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Buy her a new pair of oven gloves.
But make sure you buy her a good quality pair. I once did a deal to buy 1000 pairs of oven gloves at just 50p a pair.

What a mistake. I ended up getting my fingers burnt.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)
SPANG!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Is SPANG good or bad?
I'm not down with the kids.
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Nicked from TTO

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:29, Reply)
This is similar to the crap my ex used to come out with.
If I hung the washing out I got grief because it's going to rain. If I put it in the tumble dryer I got grief because I should have hung it out, etc.

All her sniping was just a symptom of an underlying malaise with our relationship.

She was also a fat munter, which didn't help.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:29, Reply)
Ok, my problems seem fairly minor now...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)
*massive sadface*
You've been hinting there were problems on here for a while though, haven't you?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:39, Reply)
It's another one on the market Blousie, quick get your face on!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:40, Reply)
Fuck yeah!
He's my type and all.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:42, Reply)
Freshly crushed by life?

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:45, Reply)
It turns me on when they cry as they're fucking me.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:46, Reply)
The lack of self esteem will prove to be fertile ground bgb
He'll be eating your shit in no time at all
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:53, Reply)
HAHAHA!
It isn't Kroney
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:54, Reply)
You mistake me for some kind of pervert Rory.
This saddens me.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:55, Reply)
B!tch3z ain't $hit.
Never forget this.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:43, Reply)
That's grim
unless she's minging.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:53, Reply)
Sad times.
Did you add an ex on your newly reinstated FaceSpace account?
(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)
Nope
but she has asked me who every single female B3ta member is.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)
I hope you told her there are no women on the Internet.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
I say the same thing everytime
"Oh its just a friend from London" All B3tans are from London you see.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)
You've missed the opportunity to be honest there.

(I helped save b3ta! JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
I move tomorrow
assuming my letting agent hasn't just run of to the Costa Del Crime with my security deposit and first months rent. I'm starting to get a little nervous about it.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:36, Reply)
It's OK - there are plenty of other bedsits out there.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:37, Reply)
+ in Dover
*shudder*
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:38, Reply)
*suddenly feels better about life*

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:41, Reply)
I can crash at yours for a few weeks, right?
just till I get back on my feet, yeah?
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:50, Reply)
No problem.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:52, Reply)
He lives in Dover? I've been there. No one place has ever depressed me so much, so quickly.
And I've been to Coventry.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Coventry is a great place!
How awesome is a city when it has me AND Pooflake in it!!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:00, Reply)
No, I'm in Birmingham
NakedApe is off in his own little world.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:27, Reply)
I haven't kept up, are you abandoning your house because it's so shit or something?
Less importantly where do I send your shit (and late) randomburn cd to?
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:44, Reply)
Pretty much yeah
Debating whether to fix it up for rent or to sell, or to sell as a fixer-up.

Or burn it down mysteriously.

It'll still be there for a couple of months yet, until I get the last two Randomburn CDs I wouldn't dream of getting rid.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:52, Reply)
By pass the lecy and start a cannabis factory
For added authenticity move some vietnamise in as caretakers
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 9:58, Reply)
I saw the Bristolian police on telly enter a cannabis factory
I say enter as they didn't want to do any damage. Once inside it was apparent no one was home, so they left a polite but firm note asking the owner to present himself at the local nick...
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:04, Reply)
I'm campaigning to get them called Bristoliers
rather than Bristolian

either that or Bristoleros
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:36, Reply)
Or 'bumpkin cunts', my personal choice.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:05, Reply)
accurate
somehow they are more backwards than people who live in rural Devon. It's that combination of Somerset/Gloucester inbreeding and small city wankerness.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:11, Reply)
I kept having "just one more beer" last night
As a result, I'm tired and hungover this morning. I am a fool.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:01, Reply)
Come on, Kroners, give us a 'shit-eating grin'.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:02, Reply)
I don't eat it, Monty. Christ.
What do you think I am? Twisted? German?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)
I'm sorry, I've misjudged you.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Theres an interesting typo on the front page off bbc news
Quick before they notice.

*edit* too late

www.b3tards.com/u/98480917b02b1414508e/boots.jpg
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)
I don't see it, old chap.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:05, Reply)
They said the torys were going to boot the UK's child vacine fund
Have a screengrab its soooooooooo interesting
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Well, aren't we all massive bundles of fucking joy this morning?
In an incredible twist of fate, I am rather happy at the moment, so anyone who needs cheering up can come see me and I will show them my boobs. Actually, if the reasons you're not happy are spouse-related, my boobs probably won't do much to help. But I'm very good at sympathising. And cuddles. And making soothing noises.

This morning I have computers for the terrified, then I will mostly be doing a fortnight's worth of laundry in one afternoon. On a day with no sunshine. I have a feeling my tumble drier will be on most of today. The rest of the week stretches out before me in a desolate, barren wasteland of mediocrity.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:03, Reply)
Morning dear
My hangover hasn't cleared up yet, boobs/cuddles/soothing noises please
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:06, Reply)
Anything for you sweetie

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Very dangerous thing to say to me

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Did you enjoy your day trip yesterday?
Did they buy you an ice cream and let you play in puddles?
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:16, Reply)
It was fucking great actually
Until it started pissing it down at least. The kids had the time of their lives
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)
I had to look it up to see what all the fuss was about.
I can see why you preferred it to Go Ape.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
There were still a few bits where I nearly soiled myself
But yeah, managed to avoid a repition of the joyous vertigo-induced panic attack which will always be my defining memory of Go Ape
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:28, Reply)
Tumble dryers use more electricity than Monty does re-animating himself every morning

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:07, Reply)
I usually only use it for sheets and towels
as I have no washing line outside.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:09, Reply)
3rd WORLD BRITAIN

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
I NO RITE?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
They use more electricity than your missus does vibing herself up, dreaming of me.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Poor timing perhaps Monty
Just call him a cunt like usual
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Deliberately poor, yes.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)
if only that extended to the other ways in which you are poor

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)
I'm pretty sure Monty was aware of the likely outcome of spunking loads of cash on MDs and ultra-rare vinyl
He has deliberately traded financial solvency for the chance to tell great stories on the internet
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
your definition of great and mine differ wildly

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Yours encompasses South Park, so yes it does

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)
That's right - I did all for your entertainment.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Pffft, git

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:26, Reply)
yeah, but they get things dry
I am happy to exchange electricity for convenience.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:13, Reply)
My little garden is all paved over
and the dog goes out there a lot. I don't want anything I wash to come back inside smelling of dogshit, so I am happy to use the tumble drier and a load of clothes airers.
(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
I do have a washing line
which I use when I can, but I pretty much always tumble dry underwear and such
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)
freak.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)
There are clothes on our washing line that have been there since Thursday last week
and there they will remain until we get a day upon which it doesn't fucking rain
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)
by which time they will probably want washing again.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
They can fuck off if they expect that level of special treatment

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Slattern.

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)
I'm going to avoid confessing that I'm not sure what that word means with a strikethrough which will thoroughly distract you
n y

+Tony
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Don't be silly
Breasts always help.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:08, Reply)
*boobs*

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Hmmm boobs not so much
I like breasts you see
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:14, Reply)
huge pendulous ones?

(I helped save b3ta! b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)
I'm in a great mood
had a superb weekend.

I don't quite get the animosity towards Terry Pratchett, fair enough you don't like his work, despite having almost no experience with it, but he is a genuinely nice chap, and does a lot of good work supporting worthy causes (actually worthy ones, not shit ones).
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:11, Reply)
Fuck off
This thread is for miserable/angry people only.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:14, Reply)
Well that rules me out then.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:15, Reply)
Congrats on losing your L Plates
Now go buy yourself and icon there's a good chap!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)
I will do, come payday.
Right now piffling trifles like food and cigarettes come first.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)
Your opinion is worthless unless you have an icon
It's the equivalent of having one of those hats with a propellor on top
(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
You don't have an icon either.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Therein lies the jest, you oaf.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:27, Reply)
Fuck off, I've not had my coffee yet.

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:32, Reply)
this is Rory
his opinion would be worthless even if he had an icon.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:28, Reply)
If you think anyone's opinion from round here is worth anything then it's unsurprising that you've missed the point again

(I helped save b3ta! Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:39, Reply)
*click*

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:17, Reply)
I can only apologise for your shit lives

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)
I don't think you really mean that.
You fucking cunt.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:18, Reply)
No matter how shit my life is
I at least don't live in Exeter.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
You're right.
I don't know why I was complaining.


*remembers*

*cries*
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)
you don't live in a nice city with a robust housing market
decent amenities etc?

you are lucky!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:35, Reply)
I agree with you
I disagree with Terry Pratchett's literary work
I agree with his charity work

I hope this helps.

Why so smug?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:19, Reply)
*Literary

(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I'm 5 seconds ahead of you
Just so you know, to correct all of my spelling anf typos will take up your entire day and patience.
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Anf that's a fact.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)
I left that in for ironic purposes

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
Look who you're asking

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:20, Reply)
I disagree with his charity and literary work.
I disagree with his hats. I disagree with his face.

I do, however, agree with his Alzheimer's.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:21, Reply)
Thanks Monty
Now everyone is staring at me wondering why I can't stop laughing. Cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)
hahahahahahahah
Oh fucking hell
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:23, Reply)
ARGH CUNT
I just read this again and burst in to uncontrollable laughter again!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)
it does
really good gig on Friday night, went and played some nice guitars on Saturday, then had a good meal and a laugh with some mates. Took delivery of a quarter of weed and 20 kilos of fine beef over the weekend, had an amazing roast dinner, watched a good Grand Prix, and also managed to get all my wedding invitations written in about half an hour.

and my mrs has already had a response to a speculative CV sent out at the end of last week with her company of choice wanting to see her as soon as possible.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:22, Reply)
*Passes world's biggest croissant*
Glad your misses is getting some traction
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
Excellent news about Mrs V mate
I remember that was worrying you last week. When does the secondment end?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)
Joking aside I'm pleased things are looking up!

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:30, Reply)
thanks guys
I have only 3 weeks of secondment left as well, which is awesome
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:35, Reply)
I'm ok, am 95% sure I've got my flat for next year.
It's pretty much perfect in every way.

In complaining stakes, I have nothing on and this is worrying me.
(I helped save b3ta! Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:24, Reply)
That 5% is going to be a bitch

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:25, Reply)
*picks up binoculars*
*checks*
LIAR!
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:31, Reply)
When you're in a bad mood, there's absolutely nothing more irritating
than some vapid, insufferably chirpy little tart saying things like "turn your frown upside down" and "don't worry, it'll never happen" etc.

Top tip: You may feel as though you're geeing me up. You're not, you're making me want to throttle you.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:40, Reply)
Makes you want to rape them with a frozen shit, right?
Really show them what for.
(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:41, Reply)
Cunt punch them, it's the only option

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:42, Reply)
I do that all the time,
I'm fully aware of how it makes people feel. I also say "calm down" when people are getting angry, it's real life trolling.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:48, Reply)
I had my hair cut by the gay version of you on Saturday

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:56, Reply)
Judging by your haircut,
you'd be better off with me doing it.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:58, Reply)
you are probably right
I normally get it cut by an incredibly hot girl. Unfortunately she was busy. She was still there though, so I did get to look at her while getting my hair cut. I'm sure you wanted to know that.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:00, Reply)
Please tell me you took his picture.

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:58, Reply)
There's plenty of photos of me looking gay in circulation.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:59, Reply)
I did not
the camera on my phone is very much not a selling point
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:59, Reply)
I'm amazed you haven't yet been the victim of some office justice

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Mon 13 Jun 2011, 11:19, Reply)
Agreed.
People's moods are their own affair. Usually beer and a good moan sorts mine out a treat.
(The Luggage is haunted..., Mon 13 Jun 2011, 10:54, Reply)

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