Get ready to TL:DR
We had been on a night out and were slightly drunk and my best man and I were walking home proudly protecting three young ladies in our group from all the dangerous murderers and rapists. My best man offered a couple of guys across the street a chip and when they accepted said "No they're mine!" and laughed. The two guys followed us up the road yelling and shouting. We were still half a mile from home but very close to my mums place so I thought we would nip in to mums house, wait for them to bugger off and then go home. In we pop, keeping very quiet so as to not wake my dear mother and the two guys stand outside. Suddenly there's this almighty crash and I run to the front door to see it has been kicked so hard that the door still attached to the frame is half in a half out of the house wedged in by the top right and bottom left of the frame. The deadlocks and hinges had held but the entire frame hadn't. I tried to get out of the house to give chase but the door was jammed shut so I called the police and explained to my now awake mother what had happened. The police arrived and said "We saw it on CCTV we've arrested them but we've arrested your mate too" We then noticed my best man was missing. When I was trying to get the door open he had gone to the kitchen, grabbed a knife and climbed out of the window and chased them. When the police found them he had one up against a wall with the knife pointed at him. The policeman was very nice and said he would do what he could, the next morning he was released with a caution for carrying an offensive weapon in public, we were thankful, it could have been a lot worse. The door cost £800 to fix and the scrotes were only fined £300 each. Still insurance paid up. 6 months later my mum received a package in the post, the contents, one small kitchen devil knife returned by the police.

Alt. Weetabix
( Peej, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:29, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

So you went to your mums house on your stag doo? Wow. Just.... wow.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:34, Reply)

No, wasn't my stag doo
The guy was my best man though, this happened after I got married
( Peej, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:37, Reply)

At least he didn't take the oven glove

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:34, Reply)

True
We need it to take hot things out of the oven
( Peej, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:37, Reply)

i thought you filled it with mince and wanked into it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:38, Reply)

ewwwwww

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Where do you think steak tartar comes from?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:42, Reply)

France?
Also: *boaks*
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:45, Reply)

Belgium
steak tartar is magnificent
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:49, Reply)

Fact

( Peej, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:50, Reply)

Fact indeed

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:08, Reply)

Long story short.
You went on your a stag weekend out one evening and at the end of the night, you went back to your mums place and watched as she had her back doors smashed in.

Yes, I know you said front door, but back doors are far more amusing

Edited for accuracy.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:35, Reply)

Nope, it wasn't my stag doo
I said night out and mentioned he was my best man. You're right about the rest though
( Peej, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:37, Reply)

*best summarisation ever*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:37, Reply)

It wasn't any stag do
It was just a night out.
( Peej, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:39, Reply)

Any closer?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:41, Reply)

Nope
went on out one evening?
( Peej, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 11:43, Reply)