I read that first line as a limerick
There was a [young] boy at school called Ian Beverage
Who in physics lessons knew about leverage
He sat on a plank
While

Oh dear.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:16, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

*ahem*
"I can drive, swim, ride a bike, abseil (properly, without the safety cord that they put on for the sponsored abseil thingies). Cook, clean, grow fruit and veg, milk a goat, handle chickens, build a good fire, drive a tractor, write a poem, give a cat worming tablets, change a baby's nappy, fire a gun (shot and hand), skin a rabbit, gut a fish and make meringues. "

LIAR!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Erm...
I stopped because it had become rude, not because I couldn't write it.
So ner!

;)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:19, Reply)

I was going to finish with
While having a wank
But then his mum walked in and gave him a cup of tea.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Haha

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:22, Reply)

You?
Struggling to be rude?


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:22, Reply)

*blushes*

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Shall you be attending Monty's bash in October?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:28, Reply)

My name is down
You?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:32, Reply)

I'm really really hoping to
But how these next couple of months go will dictate whether or not I can. What I'm considering is heading down on the Friday night, stay somewhere cheap, Museum it up on Saturday daytime, then bash it that night, heading back early Sunday.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I know, nightmare, there isn't really a third rhyme for beverage.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Severage?
edit: Might help with a humourous disaster arising due to whatever he was doing on the plank.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:22, Reply)

while getting a spank
which he rated as better than average.

Tada!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Nice!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 14:25, Reply)