take a 6ft pole arm instead?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:25, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

oh come on
I'm feeding you the line, there
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:28, Reply)

:??????????????????////

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:29, Reply)

Do mean my prick?
It is quite big I suppose
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:30, Reply)

I heard it's like a baby's arm
with fingers and everything,
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:36, Reply)

I bought a glowing the dark novelty condom once
in a pub toilets, it had fingers on the end like a little hand, it was quite disconcerting.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:39, Reply)

I think we finally used it when my then GF was on the blob
adding blood the the existing creepiness really didn't help
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:43, Reply)

oh good, I'm glad you added that detail
bleaugh!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:49, Reply)

this
save your fictional encounters with the female kind for the current QOTW
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:51, Reply)

good point
maybe I'll embroider it a bit and stick it up there, but it need something more to make it QOTW material.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:57, Reply)

you could stitch it on the pillow and then shove it up your arse?
;) tee hee
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)

I'm pretty lousy at sewing
But i'll see if I can carve it in to a carrot and massage my prostate with it. I'll make sure to scream your name as I come.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:00, Reply)

I'm sure your girlfriend will like that.
Make sure you say "KRISTINE WITH A KAAAAAAY"
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:03, Reply)

The girlfriend of the story is 13 years an ex
and married to someone else long ago, but should I happen to run into a lady willing to sleep with my decrepit hulk of a body, I will seriously consider yelling your name at the point of orgasm, it'll make it almost like a a threesome. :)
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)

best day evah
actually I think if a bloke said my name during sex I'd be a little creeped out
I don't know why, maybe it's one of those special things that it only feels awesome when you're...in love...bleh
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:12, Reply)

yeah, my last girlfriend used to do it
it felt very odd.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)

it's like those people that constantly say your name when you're talking to THEM
like wtf, shut up, stop saying my name, you'll wear it out
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:20, Reply)

I know what you mean
Then again I've never felt like my name fitted me. I went by a nick name for over 10 years, got to the point my wife and son knew me as nothing else and I considered changing it by deed poll, never did though.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:23, Reply)

that's weird

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:23, Reply)

yup, sums me up fairly well
just to clarify, I don't mean my wife and son never knew my real name, just never used it, I was introduced to her by nick name so it was all she ever called me.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:26, Reply)

your nickname isn't Craig Colclough is it?

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:28, Reply)

pfft

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:30, Reply)

Nope
It was Twig, but I ditched it about 4 years back.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:32, Reply)

what a shit nickname
I would've went for something like FIRE SQUIRREL
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:33, Reply)

yup
Cannot argue there. In my deffence it was short for Twiglette K. Rainbow-Unit III. Not sure that makes it any better.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:34, Reply)

now THAT
is a good nickname. I think you should demand people use it in full
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:36, Reply)

I used to
after a few pints. Maybe it's time for a revival, I'll try it out at the Bash.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:39, Reply)

hahaha!

(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:35, Reply)

afterwards did you give her a friendly pat on the cheek with your creepy gore drenched limb
and say something about being caught red-handed?
(Zoz prayed for twink on, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:52, Reply)

Can't remember
we're talking about 15 years ago here, I only just remembered it, I think we never actually finished, just gave up in disgust.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:58, Reply)

you probably aren't meant to stop half way through to have a quick
look at the condom
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:06, Reply)

probably true
the image of the tiny blood covered hand haunts me to this day. :(
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 1 Jul 2011, 21:13, Reply)

It won't be the same, and well you know
I just can't face b4shing without my middle earth weaponry. The chicks were really going to dig it
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:29, Reply)

chicks like cross bows best
that's what I hear. Or you could just do spells or something. That won't make you look stupid or anything.

Besides battleaxes are a bitch to carry on public transport
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 1 Jul 2011, 20:30, Reply)