I mark very, very easily.
My mother found out fairly quickly that she could grab me by the ear and it hurt like fuck but left no lasting marks which kept her out of Holloway.

On the whole my parents were far fonder of the withering putdown or 'we're just disappointed' technique than proper discipline. They were soft as shite really.

I plan to be fairly strict with mine but I appear to be kidding myself. My daughter only has to grin cheekily at me and I will let her off pretty much anything.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:11, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

That's lucky because we smoked some crack together last night and then ran over a granny in a stolen bus

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:13, Reply)

Make sure she never realises this
or she may turn into an absolute brat.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:15, Reply)

may will, just like all the rest of the horrible little cunts.
( Kroney, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:16, Reply)

They are extremely rare, but some children are actually well brought-up and not cunts.
Honest.

(I can think of three, ever)
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:21, Reply)

Jesus, and Prof Heinz Wolff's grandsons for whom I babysat as a teenager.
Good as gold they were. Charming little fellows.


Went like a barn door in a gale and all.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:24, Reply)

I have never met one.
Which is a shame, because I'd like to think I was wrong. The world, however, consistently proves me right.
( Kroney, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:24, Reply)

Well,
to my mind the entire human race bar a very, very small number of exceptions, are witless, unpleasant boors who should be killed. This applies to all age groups so no wonder you've only seen ghastly children: there are millions of the little shits out there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:28, Reply)

'Just disappointed' cuts to the bone.
Always hated hearing that.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:26, Reply)

I grew immune to all that sort of shit pretty quickly

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Shame the same isn't true of genital herpes, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:29, Reply)

So true it hurts and itches

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:29, Reply)

*sings George Harrison's original lyrics: 'while my bell-end, gently weeps'*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:30, Reply)

Far worse than a parade-ground shouting, eh?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:28, Reply)

Aye, fucking hated hearing it.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:31, Reply)

mine were similar but not adverse to the occasional whooping.
Once you hear the whole disappointed speech a few hundred times you stop giving a shit. Well I did anyway and then got expelled.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:29, Reply)

What were you expelled for?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:30, Reply)

multiple charges apey
setting fire to my dorm (accident)
fighting
drink
doobies
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:33, Reply)

I don't think you can be blamed for the house elf coming to visit you.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:35, Reply)

shitalmostworkspunlolz

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:36, Reply)

How did they react to you getting expelled?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:30, Reply)

They 'LOL'ed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:32, Reply)

hehheh

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:33, Reply)

I honestly can't remember, I have vague memories of my mum trying to blame everyone else and not me
and my old man not talking to me for ages. But I may have imagined that, it was 15 years ago!
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:32, Reply)

'It was those pesky Jews, mother dearest. You know what they're like'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:36, Reply)

I think I used the excuse "bigger boys" however there weren't many of them about!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:37, Reply)

It was Giant Haystacks, Sir!

An Indian chum of mine got busted in his car with scales, drugs, money and weapons. When it came to court he cried and said 'racists' made him do it, and walked free.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:44, Reply)

hahahaha quality.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:48, Reply)

Were they cowboys or something?
Do you get a 'yee-ha' as well as the whooping?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:31, Reply)

There's more than one reason why I hate spurs...

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:33, Reply)

Whilst I appreciate this post
A footballing reference littered with grammatical errors is the worst possible reply to Monty, other than "Jimi Hendrix wasn't fit to paint Bowie's eyebrows on"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:35, Reply)

don't care, I thought it was proper genius like!

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:36, Reply)

stop pandering to Monty.... Darth fancies Monty, Darth fancies Monty, Darth and Monty up a tree
etc etc
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:38, Reply)

Awww
You're cute when you're jealous
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 6 Jul 2011, 17:43, Reply)