How did you expect it to get to your flat without anyone touching it?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 11:53, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

i don't care about people i will never see
it's just that- i KNOW the porter. and not in the kind of sense that involves him touching my delicates. not even through several layers of brown paper and plastic wrapping.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 11:54, Reply)

Can I have a photo of you in your PVC traffic warden's uniform?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 11:55, Reply)

sorry darling
it's actually a white nurse's uniform.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 11:59, Reply)

Do you have access to the prescription cabinate?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:01, Reply)

I hope it's wipe clean
Cos the porter will be testing it's qualities to the limits as I type.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:03, Reply)

he really would
he weighs about 25 stone.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:07, Reply)

It's worse when your neighbour/landlady takes in a parcel and it is evidently rattling metal

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 11:55, Reply)

haha, urrrgh
our porter had to take in my old flatmate's vibe, but that was a very subtle box, so she got away with it.

my friend jen ordered something recently, it arrived, she was happy. the next day, the company sent another identical box. she was puzzled. until she realised it was addressed to her neighbour. she had to take it round there pretending she had no idea it was a 9 inch flashing purple rabbit...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 11:58, Reply)

They should pack noisy things to deaden the sound.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:04, Reply)

or soft things to muffle it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:09, Reply)

That's what I meant

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:10, Reply)

If he has access to your flat, he is probably laying on your bed right now, dressed to the nines.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 11:55, Reply)

He's naked.
We all are.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:03, Reply)

You probably need to get over your deep sexual hang ups before wasting money on frilly pants.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:03, Reply)

hmmm
i have many hang-ups. but in my defence, sex is not reeeeally one of them!

also, FRILLY? what kind of girl do you think i am?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:07, Reply)

One called Dave who drives a truck.
If you get the heeby jeebies at the thought of somebody handling a parcel then you have issues that would make Freud wank into pockets.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:20, Reply)

I bet Freud was a fucking nightmare to play pool with
when he was having one of those days.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:24, Reply)

" ... he's been queuing up this shot for almost five minutes
and his eyes have been closed for the last two."
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 12 Jul 2011, 12:32, Reply)