For anyone left standing I have a serious - if stoopid - question
I can't type. I use one finger and I'm fairly quick with it.

Until now this hasn't been a problem but being self-employed now means that I'm having to do a lot of reports and it's really starting to hurt my wrist. This is my wanking wrist so you'll appreciate my dilemma.

I don't expect to learn how to type but is there any ergonomic way to set up a laptop? I've tried the rather Heath Robinson approach of sticking paper under it to angle the keyboard.

I make no excuses whatsoever for my retardedness in such matters.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:20, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

For about a fiver, you could buy a USB keyboard.
That would give you more scope.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:21, Reply)

Could be worth a try
I was always slightly more comfortable with a conventional keyboard than a laptop.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:30, Reply)

Would you not be more comfortable with a desktop machine, rather than a laptop?
Likewise, can you automate any/many of your reports and reduce your administration time.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:31, Reply)

In a fit of efficiency
I got rid of my old PC. I'd have been better with that.

I work within templates but there's not an awful lot of scope for automation - every property is different.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:37, Reply)

fucking houses.
Having the cheek to be different.

Are you finding life treating you well on the self-employed wagon?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:37, Reply)

It's OK
I need more good contracts for security and a sustainable income, but the contracts I've got are very happy with price and service and keep coming back for more.

Just need to open a few more doors.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:43, Reply)

Well fingers crossed you get what you need!
I take it you're not missing the world of transport.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:49, Reply)

I still do the occasional driving turn
And I'd like to carry on that way.

I enjoy some of the private hire work but service driving - and service driving management - did me in.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:53, Reply)

Sounds like you've got the balance spot on TD

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:57, Reply)

Not quite
But maybe this time next year I'll be there.

When I can work as few hours as possible to make the money that I need to live on and a little bit more, and I enjoy all of those hours, then it will be right.

Anyway - it's bedtime before my wrist gets too knackered and the memory of the C5 newsgirl fades.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 23:03, Reply)

I'm off to the land of nod too.
Catch up with you next week at some point.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 23:03, Reply)

There are some online typing programs for practise
which should make your posture and hand positions better. I think the one we used to use was on the CBBC website (it's for kids, but we used it with adults). Then get a wrist rest.

happy wanking
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:22, Reply)

Would you like us to ask you some competency based questions Captain?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:25, Reply)

about my job?
erm...i dunno

I like playground patrol ;)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:30, Reply)

Have you seen Mr Playground patrol recently?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:31, Reply)

not until September :(
chances are I will see him then, then next july, then never, due to playground rearrangements
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:32, Reply)

You need to strike whilst the iron is hot in September Captain.
Make sure he doesn't get away.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:38, Reply)

i wish I could
but I will chicken out and/or miss an obvious opportunity. I shall die alone
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:39, Reply)

If you're unlikely to see him again, after Sept until some distant point in the future
You've got nothing to lose.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:48, Reply)

In between I'm meant to contact him for work-related things
anyway, I will just fuck up and go home wishing I'd said something. Although it is about time I added to my list of guys I've unsuccessfully asked out
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:50, Reply)

Well ask him out to discuss something work related.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:57, Reply)

don't think I have enough excuse to do this
The other disadvantage is I will probably have workmates there who will rip the piss and/or accidentally cockblock.

Well, my friends have offered to start handing round cards to fit guys they see round town :/
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:59, Reply)

You should come to Weston.
We'll find you someone on the pier.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 23:00, Reply)

is the pier an excellent spot for that kind of thing?
I might go - but anything after september is a bit hit and miss, providing I get my job it'll be pretty mental at work. I like the idea of coming to that and then maybe going to London after for Montyfest or whatever it's called
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 23:03, Reply)

I've no idea if the pier is a good pulling spot, b3th would be able to tell you.
She is ALWAYS on that bloody pier.

Right, I'm going to snooze.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 23:04, Reply)

night!

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 23:06, Reply)

The difficulty with that
Is that three fingers of my left hand don't work, so any conventional typing training is out.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:28, Reply)

is there not some way to work
out a version which is one handed but uses all the fingers (on the good hand) and is supported by the working fingers on the other?

I dunno, there must be some kind of typing program for one handed

I've not searched it but check here - it's mostly for dyslexia and visual impairment, though
www.abilitynet.org.uk/athome_shareware
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:31, Reply)

or this
www.aboutonehandtyping.com/
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:35, Reply)

I'll have a look at that - thanks.
I've been warned off voice recognition software which was another consideration.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:39, Reply)

yeah, I hear it's pretty ropey
lots of setting up and it never gets it quite right
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:40, Reply)

I can't speak without saying "Ummm..." and Ahhh..." a lot
That knacks it.

I also live in an echoey house which also knacks it.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:46, Reply)

Tyle witgb yur uther hamd
Noone wikle nutice
( zulu eh?, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:22, Reply)

Learn to type properly, the videogame "Typing of the dead" will help.
Using a single finger means your other fingers are never in the right possition. Feel for the little bump on the F and J keys, your index fingers should be there and your other fingers resting on ASD and KL: keys.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:43, Reply)

As above
Typing properly requires more fingers than I have.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 24 Jul 2011, 22:49, Reply)