My dad's just said to me "Look at Kelly Osbourne. Think of the lifestyle you could be living if you'd lose weight and quit smoking"
I didn't realise that would make me an INSTA-CELEBRITY with fuck loads of money and time to waste, with boys falling at my feet.
Prick.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:32, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Maybe point out to your father than you could be enjoying that lifestyle, if he was a washed up smackhead from Birmingham,

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:34, Reply)

He IS a washed up smackhead. But he never joined a band.
I should point out HIS faults, see how he likes it *huffs*
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)

Is this the same guy who, I think I read earlier on, suggested you should shoot your friend in case she decides to shoot you first?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:34, Reply)

Fair point.

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:39, Reply)

Besides it's not worth it
if you have to be Kelly Osborne
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:36, Reply)

This ^
K and her old man, having a sing song.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=A6i1ywioIm0
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)

she looks like a fangbanger there
my mate matt had her cd back in the day and he would rock out to it and get mad when I said it was shit
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)

c V
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)

Isn't Kelly Osbourne an ex addict?
Yeah! cool role model dad.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)

hey K! My mugs are clean
thanks to you and bleach!

your dad's fucked up
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:37, Reply)

Bleach?
Your dirt is white.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:38, Reply)

good enough for me

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:44, Reply)

Hurrah!
This makes me feel awesome and helpful.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:40, Reply)

Would I be out of order to suggest that your dad is a bit of a dick?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:41, Reply)

No, he is. I'm just thinking he should've said something twenty years ago instead of stuffing me full of pies and then telling me to change my lifestyle.

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:45, Reply)

Hahaha.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:46, Reply)

Are you going to see your friend tonight?
Despite the obviously well-founded warnings your dad has given you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:47, Reply)

I took chomp's advice and asked if she was going to shoot me.
She said ummmmm.....no lol

I figure there's no way I can dodge a bullet, but she has CP so I can probably wrestle a gun from her by knocking her over if I need to.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:49, Reply)

Wayhey for contingency plans

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)

her friend has those

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:55, Reply)

You're rather sharp at the moment.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)

chateauneuf du pape
8.50 a bottle cos a local place is going dry. It's certainly hitting the spot.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:04, Reply)

but yes, I was well pleased that I spotted that

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:05, Reply)

That's a great price for a delightful drop.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:19, Reply)

I'm pretty sure I've said this before but............
YOU HAVE SHIT FRIENDS.
( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:50, Reply)

Oh Beej, she can't help if she's got cerebral palsy, she was born with it.
Shame on you.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)

*snort*

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:59, Reply)

Woo! Lesbo pillow fight.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:51, Reply)

I can think of a fuck ton of women I'd rather.

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:53, Reply)

I understand.
You don't want your last lover to by your KILLER.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)

"Do you really want to hurt me? Do you really want to make me cry?"

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:58, Reply)

You cum and go, you cum and go-oooh.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:59, Reply)

aaaaaaaaaaand I'm going now!
Bye all, if I die, just know I've enjoyed your help in wasting my days at work, the wonderful advice and all the bullying a young girl's heart can hold xxxx

p.s. Al, you'd better fucking take care of my pup.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)

Wuv u K.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:03, Reply)

Don't worry.
I'm ready to step up to the plate bowl if he fails.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:03, Reply)

I got eyed up by 'Boy' George in Camden Sainsbury's once.
Gaz me if you want my autograph.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)

I heard he likes the pretty ones.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:04, Reply)

He really did leer at me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:06, Reply)

I'll bet you wasted no time in
Bow(ing) down Mister

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bwg7uyy9g2c
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:07, Reply)

Spazzes are rubbish at pillow fights.
It's easily the worst thing about being a spaz.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 21:56, Reply)

Lesbians aren't that great at them either.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:01, Reply)

I've seen 'film' that suggests you are wrong here.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:02, Reply)

They were pretend lesbians Monty.

( girlinthehole, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:04, Reply)

I don't know what to believe now.
They seemed to be lesbians.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:05, Reply)

That's the power of a good film.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:06, Reply)

and let's be honest
they weren't trying to "win" the pillow fight so much as look pretty and end up wrestling.

If they were they'd have slipped in a housebrick.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:07, Reply)

I've seen films where they slipped in a breeze block.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 3 Aug 2011, 22:09, Reply)